Randy called last night from Dallas and we chatted a bit. I submit this with Randy in mind... The Budget Traveller's Guide to Sleeping in Airports (http://www.sleepinginairports.com/)

I had to travel to SanDiego a few weeks ago. The flight out and back was bad enough, but to add insult to injury, after 5 and a half hours, we had to wait on the runway for a gate to open (they didn't know we were coming?) THEN we waited almost 2 HOURS for them to unload the luggage. Seems US Air didn't have enough handlers. I offered to help after the first hour, but they declined. I will never fly US Air again and I will absolutely carry on the maximum allowed in an attempt to not check baggage.

Carl-

I don't know if I've ever had an airport delay horror story. When there have been delays, I'm usually prepared with stuff to keep me occupied and/or entertained and I try to travel light enough that carrying my stuff with me is not a problem.

My usual dilemma is how I end up being involved in the airport's version of Olympic sprinting. Since I enjoy travelling in heels...strange bird, I know, but I actually find it comfortable and they're so easily to slip off once you're on board the plane and then slide on the moccasins...these mad dashes can be rather aggravating.

I have never "seen" Frankfurt airport. As far as I'm concerned, it's a big blurry building, with blurry people....loud, blurry people. Every time I've flown through there, I've had under 30 minutes to get through security/customs and, of course, my plane is at the very last gate. The 3 escalators down...3 escalators up obstacle was my personal favourite and I certainly I hope I was going under a road or something...still can't explain that little detour to an otherwise straight line to the gate.

Heathrow involved multiple terminals, a shuttle or two, and frequent batting fo the baby blues to bypass some line-ups. FYI, ladies, Italian leather heels were made for this kind of abuse!

I've learned now that when I have a connecting flight I get the closest seat to the front of the aircraft...and if it's an aisle seat, I've hit the jackpot. Once we land, I start my stretching and warm-ups...because in about 5-10 minutes, I know I'll be in my next race. :D

This reminds me of a conversation my wife and I had at Christmas. To make a long story even longer: We tried to leave on December 26, 2004 from Tulsa, OK and did not get home to Orange County (John Wayne) until December 31, 2004 at 11:56PM PDT. We finally flew out of Oklahoma City into LAX through Minneapolis and had to take a cab (at our expense) back to SNA to get our car and (SURPRISE) our luggage. Continiental SUCKS.

So here is the conversation we had. Has anyone noticed that people do not fly anymore? They temporarily move via the airport. I remember (and I am not that old) when people used to dress decent to fly, it was an event, it was an adventure, you packed lightly and smartly to minimize your luggage, you were polite to others (only the elite flew right?) You quickly moved through the lines to get to to your gate and wait. You sympathized with the lonely business man traveler (sorry ladies, it was predominately men) because he was not home with his family, maybe you bought him a drink, you envied the soldier, sailor or anyone in uniform wondering what exotic place they were off to, who they left behind and you wished them well. You were excited to sit next to someone interesting so you could have a great conversation. You might even spot someone famous (the elite, remember?)

AND NOW......

People wear pajamas to fly, they wear flip flops, they barely get dressed. They fight with the ticket agent because they can not understand why they are not allowed to have 13 bags all over 80lbs plus a stroller and a car seat for their 5 day trip to grandma's. People fight to get to the front of the line (on Southwest, this means a better seat) they haggle with the TSA over corkscrews and pocket screwdrivers. People get p*s*ed at the business man trying to catch a nap on 3 seats, never mind he has not slept in his own bed for 4 weeks. People do not talk on airplanes anymore, they sit in their assigned seat (so why the rush through the TSA line?) and they pretend to sleep. They might still sympathize with soldier or sailor flying, but get upset when they are bumped to first class and they weren't. They haggle with the gate agents to get an aisle, an exit row or even the coveted bump to First Class.

Flying is just not fun anymore. It is stressful and it turns you into a mean person.

Oh where oh where are the good old days?

Just some thoughts....

Where are the good old days?

They are with my luggage back on the carousel that I stood at from 9:45 to after midnight waiting to get my bags from a plane that I could see through the window.

Carl-

C'mon folks! Surely you have some funny or even positive stories of flying! Yes, bad things happen, like long waits for luggage...but you're not the only one in the airport and I'm sure that there is more to the story than I (and you) know. Why there was not a sufficient number of baggage handlers, I can't answer...but focus on the positive aspects to your trip. It was outside of your control, so why let it aggravate you so?

So let's hear the funny stuff! The good travel stories!

***

I travelled down to Brazil with some coworkers for a whirl wind tour of some of our sister plants. We landed in Sao Paulo the day of the Formula 1 race. If anyone's read my profile, I'm an F1 fan (go Williams!). I had my nose pressed up against the window of the plane looking for the circuit (no such luck in locating...must have been on the other side. :D ). And once we landed, we dashed across to another gate for our connecting flight only to find it was delayed for a few hours. I paced and paced...here I was...this close to an F1 race...and trapped in an airport. My coworkers were about ready to pay for me to try out one of the airport massage services, but thankfully, our plane was ready to board.

***

While my coworkers returned to Canada, I had a flight from Brazil to Chile to visit another sister plant who had a Business System I wished to model ours after. The flight attendent came over for the meal service and the rest of it basically went like this...

Flight attendent: Would you care for something to eat?
Me: What do you have?
FA: Meat or pasta.
Me: What kind of meat?
FA: (confused) Meat.
Me: If you can't identify it, I want the pasta.
*pasta arrives along with plastic knife and fork*
*peeling back the foil revealed a layer of burnt cheese *
*cut a section of burnt cheese with knife and proceed to use fork to leverage cheese off of pasta*
*sudden little suction noise and section of burnt cheese goes flying through the air and lands in the lap of the gentleman beside me*
Me: (horrifed expression on my face) Oh my g**!!! I'm American!
*note the lack of apology first and foremost...there goes one Canadian stereotype*
*theory was that since Canadians were loved, if we messed up we were to say we were American* :o
Man: (looking at cheese and then at me rather calmly) No you're not. You're Canadian. I saw your passport.
Me: Oh...you speak English. I'm soooo sorry about this!
Man: That's okay.
Me: (staring at cheese in his lap...upper lap...if you get my meaning...) I'm sorry, but...umm...what is the proper etiquette here? Do I take the cheese off or do you?
Man: (laughing and using napkin) That's okay...I'll get it...

And we had a very nice conversation all the way to Santiago.

OK here is a great travel story.

I was in Stockholm trying to come home after a three week roll out. Just so happens I was trying to fly home on the afternoon of September 11. Well I did not go anywhere, neither did anyone else for that matter. There was a mad rush for hotel rooms. It was like the old west claim jumper races in the 1800s. Needless to say I did not get a room like some fortunate folks.

Sitting in the bar at the Nordic Sea Hotel (dont ask why I ended up there, I think someone at the airport mentioned they might have rooms) I met an interesting couple. They chatted me up real nice, ended up buying my drink and the like. Turns out they were on vacation from Italy (American born and raised however) and their daughter had just joined them the night before and had her own room (stop we are not going there, the daughter was 16) They graciously offered me her room and she could stay with them. Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth I readily accepted. I offered them money, they adamantly refused. I was at this time calling the airline 6 times a day checking on flight availability. In the mean time we all did touristy stuff for a few days. We were all nervous as they were checking out that morning. Finally got a flight and they wished me well. We exchanged info to stay in touch and the usual stuff.

Fast forward to August 2002... I am in Vegas getting married and who walks by the chapel and sees me on the TV screen ( they broadcast it out live) but the same couple who offered me a room in Stockholm. They waited and then they joined our celebration.

Not a funny story, just a good one.

Now a funny story.

I used to travel with my dad alot when I was younger. It was great for me, got to see the world and all. Well I was with Pop in the OLD Denver airport and who should be sitting across from us but Sam Kinison talking on the old school bag cell phone (remember those monsters?) I kept poking my dad telling him:
"Dad, that's Sam Kinison" "Dad that's Sam Kinison" "Dad, that's Sam Kinison" Pop had no clue who Sam Kinison was.

Finally Sam Kinison looked our way and in his best Kinison fashion said, "Yeah, I'm Sam Kinison, can you see I am on the phone, now shut the **ck up."

After he hung up his phone, he came over laughed and introduced himself. Nice guy BTW. My dad ended up sitting next to him on the plane, while I was in the window seat. They chatted the entire flight about religion, politics, sex, marriage you name it, they discussed it.

On the way home from the airport, my dad said I would have to let him borrow a tape (those are the old miniature reel to reels, before CDs for you youngsters) of Sam Kinison so he could hear his comedy. I let him borrow it and the next day Pop was not too pleased. I could not convince him that the man on the tape was the same man he sat next to on the plane. Never mind that his 16 year old son was listening to some pretty raunchy stuff.

All my dad could say was, "You just never know about people anymore."

Now Sam is dead. Shame really.