My wife has tried to sign me up for evening classes and nailed the attached prospectus to my pillow.

I had no idea women were so sexist.

That's cute!

I thought that #3 calling for "group practice" was very funny!

Class 3 “Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat and avoiding the floor, walls and bathtub?”


Yes, but why you would want to lift the seat and when urinating in the sink, I don't know. :notme:

lol, I've seen this before, and it is just as funny now as then. Now, I don't want to bash men, because I really do think that they are marvelously handy people to have around, but really, how can they miss that pile of dirty underwear and socks when they are standing right on top of them? :lmao:

Steel(I am apologizing to all the men in advance)Maiden

lol, I've seen this before, and it is just as funny now as then. Now, I don't want to bash men, because I really do think that they are marvelously handy people to have around, but really, how can they miss that pile of dirty underwear and socks when they are standing right on top of them? :lmao:

Steel(I am apologizing to all the men in advance)Maiden

I thought the floor always just had extra cushion where I was standing... :notme:

I thought the floor always just had extra cushion where I was standing... :notme:
You are just too funny, that is what he said too!:frust: :bonk: :lmao:

Yes, but why you would want to lift the seat and when urinating in the sink, I don't know.

:lmao: :lol:

Cute...but to keep this playing field level, surely there are courses out there for us women! No, this was not an invite for you men to start making suggestions! :lol:

Personally, I'm waiting for the co-ed classes.

Class 3 “Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat and avoiding the floor, walls and bathtub?”

Not when it is nighttime and the floor, walls, cabinets help to facilitate the "SONAR" process. :bonk:

Wayne

Cute...but to keep this playing field level, surely there are courses out there for us women! No, this was not an invite for you men to start making suggestions! :lol:

Personally, I'm waiting for the co-ed classes.

You mean like this one:

How Not To Ask The Questions You Do Not Want an Answer For (Does this make my butt look fat?) Offered MWF 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Four weeks beginning November 6 in room 101 in the Main Bldg. ?

You mean like this one:

How Not To Ask The Questions You Do Not Want an Answer For (Does this make my butt look fat?) Offered MWF 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Four weeks beginning November 6 in room 101 in the Main Bldg. ?

LM(F)BO!!:lmao:

I'll try:

The Art of Asking Men Questions During Sporting Event Commercials
Offered during NFL Season all day on Saturdays, Sundays, and Monday nights from 8:30-???

I was thinking of something along the lines of...

'How to Find the Right Way to Explain When You're Upset - The Happy Medium Between Blowing Up and "Fine!" ' - offerred Sunday afternoons and Monday evenings so you can avoid the guys watching football.

I was thinking of something along the lines of...

'How to Find the Right Way to Explain When You're Upset - The Happy Medium Between Blowing Up and "Fine!" ' - offerred Sunday afternoons and Monday evenings so you can avoid the guys watching football.

I alway know I'm in deep you-know-what when my wife says, "I'm okay." Once, I even made the mistake of telling her I was glad she was okay and continuing on my merry way. Only once.:bonk:

Cee,
I can't answer that one, but a cheerleader outfit would give you about a 75% better chance of getting the answer you want.:lol:

Classes, you say? What utter tosh and drivel... :rolleyes:

Class 1 “How to fill up ice cube trays”
Step by step demonstration with slide presentation.

- I don’t use ice cubes (We live in Sweden, for crying out loud: I’m frozen solid half the year anyway)… Fill them up yourself.

Class 2 “The toilet paper roll – does it change itself?”
Round table discussion.

- No it does not, and if you had a look around before you occupied the throne you would note if a refill is needed... That, I’m sure, would be a good deal easier than to holler for more paper once you’re stuck in there (which incidentally seems to be roughly 12 out of 24 available hours!).

Class 3 “Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat and avoiding the floor, walls and bathtub?”
Group practice

- Group pra…? No, thank you very much. I prefer solitude.

Class 4 “Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor”.
Pictures and explanatory graphics

- I did not put the dirty laundry on the floor. It fell off the top of the overflowing laundry hamper.

Class 5 “After dinner dishes – can they fly and levitate into the dishwasher?”
Examples on video

- What dishwasher? I am the sodding dishwasher around here, remember?

Class 6 “Loss of identity – losing the TV remote control to your significant other”.
Help line and support group.

- Smashing idea! I would be happy to take part in such a group... As a teacher: After all, someone will have to teach you how that little appliance actually works. Note: Screaming blue murder while pushing the buttons harder will not make them perform tasks they were never programmed for.

Class 7 “Learning how to find things – starting with looking in the right place and not turning the house upside down while screaming”.
Open forum

- Ah, yes… How am I going to find things if you keep moving them around? I know where I put things. It’s just that they don’t stay there…

Class 8 “Health watch – bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health”.
Graphics and audio tapes

- Yes it would. It would actually be harmful to my health as well as yours. You are allergic to them, remember? If I bring you flowers you will get an allergic reaction, whereupon I as well as said groceries will be thrown off the premices.

Class 9 “Learning to live – basic differences between mother and wife”.
On-line class with role play.

- Great. That, I take it, means that you will finally tell your mother that you moved out of her house years ago, and no longer is her little girl?

Class 10 “The stove/oven – what is it and how is it used?”
Live demonstration

- I can tell you how I use it: I spend most of my free time scraping various burnt in carbohydrates off it. How about keeping an eye on the stuff you put on it?


/Claes

Who let a woman out of the kitchen long enough to come up with this? :)

Claes...oh my...if I was a man, I'd be applauding you (and first in line to speak at your funeral). :lmao: :lol: :applause: :agree1: :lmao:

I do believe I can get a PHd in this class!!!

Claes...oh my...if I was a man, I'd be applauding you (and first in line to speak at your funeral). :lmao: :lol: :applause: :agree1: :lmao:

Heck Claes, I'm just going to applaud you! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

- We live in Sweden, for crying out loud

And I suspect that might be a very good thing right about now. Those frying pans hurt.

Ah Claes -- as usual hit the nail on the head. :applause: :applause: :applause:

I want to add my listing of classes for the fairer sex;

Class 1 - Why Men Can't Read Your Mind
Would you really want them too anyway?
Class 2 - Why Men Don't Want to Hear About Your "Aunt Flo"
Female things are best left to females
Class 3 - How to Instantly Relieve Your HeadAches
And other excuses
Class 4 - Driving and Parking
Sub-Class - How to Park Your Yukon XL While Talking on the Phone
Class 5 - How to Know What He Wants in the Boudoir
This is the technology portion of the class and will require
homework and the use of the internet and DVD
Class 6 - Cooking 101
Sub-Class - Dominos, Take Out and Other Ideas
Class 7 - Understanding Sports
Why there are not touchdowns in the NBA
Class 8 - Vehicle Basics
Sub-Class - Why Men Like Cars
Class 9 - Cleaning 101
Class 10 - Navigating from the Passenger Seat
Sub- Class - Basic Distance Perception
How to not wait until the turn has passed before mentioning it

It was for reasons such as those cited in this thread that a while back I made a modest proposal (http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/04/06/131413.php) to ban heterosexual unions.

And I suspect that might be a very good thing right about now. Those frying pans hurt.Um... Yes, well, there are frying pans over here too, you know... I think I'll just hide them before I show this thread to my wife.

I want to add my listing of classes for the fairer sex. Oops... Knowing the fairer sex, I suspect that we will see a comeback based on that one and a number of previous discussions on similar subjects. I think I'll just crawl away and take cover now.

/Claes

Jim, I loved your "modest proposal"!

Where's Randy when you need him ? :whip:

So here are some things we learned about special blond ladies, you got to love them: (It is Friday afternoon)

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in the world is
Chinese
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the
escalators for over four hours.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really
bad hailstorm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
Repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really
hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and
Started blowing into her tailpipe.
Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing
happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you
doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to
Blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to
roll up the windows first."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for
glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye
while covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye
doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her
face."Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about
getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on
wire frames.

**********************************************************************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it
over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "That's a thermos, it keeps some things hot and some things cold"
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . it keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles and some coffee".

***********************************************************************
***
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf
balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

***********************************************************************
And, finally, this gem which just appeared in my INBOX.
This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around. This should
Make all you technologically challenged people feel GOOD.
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie,
something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.
The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.
"Hi Susie," he said, "How do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't >understand though..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at WalMart?............

Cute...but to keep this playing field level, surely there are courses out there for us women! No, this was not an invite for you men to start making suggestions! :lol:

Personally, I'm waiting for the co-ed classes.
I never wait for an invitation, RC (Course List attached). Co-ed classes will not be offered for women, all classes taught by female EXPERTS (since they won't listen to men and the answer to "So you're an expert, now?" will be "YES!").

Claes, your comments are spot on! Jim Wynne, great blog post. The comments are hilarious. There are WAY too many people who take everything seriously. Humour is the best way to deal with the fundamental differences between males and females.

(Course List attached)
Very funny, Icy.:lmao:

Humour is the best way to deal with the fundamental differences between males and females.Actually, it's the only way...:notme:

/Claes

Actually, it's the only way...:notme:

/Claes

Drinking helps too! :agree1:

I want to add my listing of classes for the fairer sex;
:lmao: Missed this post - funny stuff.

I'll try:

The Art of Asking Men Questions During Sporting Event Commercials
Offered during NFL Season all day on Saturdays, Sundays, and Monday nights from 8:30-???

What about the occasional Thursday night football? :rolleyes:

As a service to the Covers... Additional training sessions available.;)

A balanced view?