We are struggling with corrective actions - specifically closing out and verifying effectiveness.
Any suggestions, works for us stories, etc. would be greatly appreciated.

It is action specific. Very hard to pin down with out specifics.

If you are asking how to document it in your procedure...I'd say someone who was involved in writing the CAR (or knowledgeable of the situation) would check on the effectivity (ie.. did it work?). I would leave a blank on the form for 'followup activity' and who ever followed up, would fill in what they did, and their recommendations.

for instance...if the CA was to write a procedure...the follow up would be to review the released procedure to ensure it covered the issues, and verify it is distributed to the appropriate places and implemented (perhaps an internal audit, or a quick check during follow up). IF the CA was to train someone, the follow up would be to review the training record, and audit the activity and see if there is a change/improvement/understanding of the requirement etc by those involved. verify activity records to see if any reoccurance at the next internal audit (or change the audit schedule to add an audit at an appropriate time ). I could go on for hours here .... with scenarios, but I am sure you get the picture. Use the systems you have available to you.

A session on 'how to respond' to CAR and measure effectivity is in order. It's a common sense thing, some people do it well, some don't.

Perhaps, now that i think about it.....your struggle may be with the identification of the root cause, if you don't have that right, its hard to follow up for effectivity. And it could also be that you are doing CARs on random ocurrances, that can not be fixed long term....

how about some examples for us?

okay...an example of the problem I am facing with CAR's ... we hold a meeting, determine root cause...recommend actions - using action plan...forward plan to functions responsible for completing tasks, most cases first task must be completed - notify me, so I can forward information so next task can start...third...fourth etc. We have communication gap in that I'm not always notified...then jobs are moving through the manufacturing process...differently (due to early changes) and not being monitored - hence we cannot determine effectiveness and close out the CAR - too many 'open' issues worsens the situation.

Sheila,

Your committee issues the corrective action to be deployed by the responsible authority? Are the responsible folks part of this meeting (I get the impression that they are not)? I am wondering if the committee is close enough to the problem to properly assess the root cause and have the body of knowledge to correct it. Perhaps the communication gap you are speaking of is manufactured by your CA process (ie. folks are being told what to do and are not contributing as part of a team, causing them to rebel). You may find that the folks closest to the problem have a better handle on how to correct the issue at hand and only need guidance through the CA process from management. This should improve the effectiveness of the CA program I think. The question Barb asks is the same one used by myself and I am sure many others. Did your actions fix the problem? If there are no more repeat issues, then I'd have to say your CA was probably effective.

Regards,

Kevin

We have a similar problem at the company I work for. Going back about 2 months ago I had the Corrective Action dumped on me. It used to be the whole QA departments responsibility (lucky me). Thats not the problem, the problem is nobody feels it is necessary to respond to them This would not be a problem if we didn't have multipile facilities. If we only had one I would do the "hand holding" of the responsible people to see that they did what they said they were going to do, and also see that it is effective. I don't have the time to call all the facilities to see that they have it done only to be told umm well h we don't have it done yet because umm well uh duh we don't have time. Then ontop of this the Managers have a monthly "meeting", well this last meeting they were all just DUMB founded that there is so many open CAR's, and they didn't know that it was this bad. My response to that of course would be thats a load of BS and I know this for a fact because I am the Internal Auditor (lucky me) and when I send them the reports it states that they have numerous CAR's that are not responded to or need follow up. I also tell them this during the audits. The reason I feel that we have such a big problem is that our "Executive Commitee" does not stress the importance of the Corrective and Preventive Action system, so the managers don't give a hoot either. Well our Registrar is coming early 2000(no agenda from them yet and we have asked them to send it numerous times) and when they look at the Corrective Action System we have in place if they are not blind, they will see that it does not really exist except in name only. But hey whats an Internal Auditor to due we have no authority and nobody listens to us anyways so I just make sure I document everything so I know that I tried. Ok enough of my complaining if anybody has any suggestions please tell me. Thanks.

------------------



[This message has been edited by ISO GUY (edited 03 May 2000).]

Kevin, our Managment Rep. has tried to get or EC to respond to these issues, but our EC like I said before just does not care. It seemd like I have walked into a situation that is almost hopeless. The last time our registrar was here they just glanced at Element 4.14, and I have a feeling they will do the same this time. Most of our open CAR's are the responsibility of one department. These could be closed out if they would issue a blanket response for a problem that is on going that unless the company buys new equipment, will always be there. I am in the process of implementing a Cost of Quality associated with each CAR/Complaint, but with all things that are new to people they take time to get up and running. I think if our EC sees how much these problems are costing us they will act on them. It also does not help when the QA Manager makes the comment infront of other Managers that "CAR's are not really that important" well I guess that says it all.

ISOGUY,

I feel your pain!! As Andy points out in his post, we have all probably been there. It is a frustrating position you find yourself in. Hopefully it will improve for you as it has for me.

Andy gives good advice; make the invisible, visible. Maybe as Andy has done, by attaching it to a newletter, or perhaps, create a report for your EC (your CoQ may help). Keep it simple. If not, they probably won't read it, and that would only add to your frustration.

You mentioned a blanket CA would close out a number of your outstanding CARs. I would reduce all those CARs to just one, blowing out the excess baggage and decide to deal with the one. But you also stated that in order to eliminate the Cause, the organization would have to buy an expensive piece of machinery. In theory, you could close the doors of this organization forever by closing out this CAR by spending all you had. Just so that you know, you may as an organization have to 'manage the problem', that is to control it, in the best way without ever totally eliminating it (it would be pointless to issue a CAR with that knowledge). Remember, a CA in theory TOTALLY eliminates the problem from ever occurring. This isn't always possible. All systems produce some level of nonconformance. Assess the risk, and manage the nonconformance (I don't know if you make medical devices or landing gear for planes. If so, you may still be stuck to find a solution).

The problem with ISO is not the Standard. It is in how the organization views the Standard in their own culture. The EC must realize that this is a tool to help the organization to succeed. It is only a tool in the philosophy for managing. ISO will not save a company by itself. It never has, it never will. Using the tool wrong can do damage to an otherwise healthy organization. They must rise to the role of Leadership and help to implement the tool correctly. Your task: finding a way to help them realize the value of ISO without getting labeled as an "I told you so!" I hope we can help.

Regards,

Kevin

Where is you Management Rep? The rep should be able to get the executive levels to respond to this dilemma. Otherwise, April will serve senior management with a nasty right hook!

Speculation on my part, but 137 is a rather large number, especially for only 3 months! I suspect that your CAR system is burdened with nonconformances that are probably not System threatening or have High risk to contribute to nonconforming product. Folks may not be responding because they believe that many of the CARs are a farce.

My suggestion: review the CARs already issued in to piles. Eliminate the CARs that don't belong, prioritize the rest, create an action plan to resolve the CARs. You may not get a bulk of them done before the audit, but at least you will have demonstrated a structured approach to the problem, deployed your plan, and are in the midst of resolving open issues.

Regards,

Kevin

Hello ISO Guy

In the beginning, i used to write posts like that, but the best advise you are likely to get is 'start preparing your CV'. No buy-in form the employees, no support from the managers, the all too frequent 'Project from Hell'.

I can only suggest one thing that i presume you may already have tried.
Today i was just finishing a 'Monthly Newsletter' for a company which had on the backside 8 simple bar charts, one of the graphs showed open CAR's against closed CAR's, Dept by Dept. This will be distributed monthly, to all management and staff. We will see what the result is.

Regards



------------------
Andy B

Hmmm. I worked with an organisation that had 23 locations, 160 employees, and generated 600 CARs a year. This quantum is not managable unless you have a very good system for dealing with them.
CLOSE OUT, is a critical problem. I had eleven people who had the additional job of being internal auditors. Audits were conducted at each site every 6 months, and all CARs that were OPEN during that period were reviewed, and closed out by the auditors in their reports, or noted as not fully implemented, or whatever.
It was the only way I could close out the things, except where the preventive actions related to revised documentation, or some other thing that I could witness without driving all over the place.

The particular CAR system included OHS incidents and hazards, customer complaints, nonconformances, improvements, security breaches, etc., etc.

For the managers I focussed on them adopting an empathetic apporach - if you wrote this CAR, would you be satisfied with the responses and actions?

In the circumstance where your auditor is coming, and you can't find any other means to motivate people, steer the auditor to focus on the problems you are experiencing. He/She will raise a NCR and hopefully this will spark the necessary crisis meeting and actions. It also serves to steer auditors away from anything else you don't want to deal with until you get the time!

Let the challenge motivate you, don't throw in the towel just yet - if I used that approach, I'd spend all my time fishing, golfing, surfing and sunbathing.

You must get executive buy-in. The CAR problems may just be a symptom of a far worse disease!

------------------

Originally posted by ISO GUY:
I hate to say it the owners of the company don't really care about conforming to the standards, they just want the Certificate that says we are ISO certified. They see QA as an expense because " We do not make any money for the company", they don't understand that we are trying to save the company money...

...As far as pointing out the problems in our CAR system ( I don't want to get fired) I will let the Registrar find out for themselves. Well now that I sund like I am not making any sense at all I am out of here.

To your post (I hope I got the quote thing right):

It sounds like your management doesn't know how the ISO tool benefits their organization. Why is this? What are their individual theories based on? What are their expectations? Do you have any of these answers?

I suppose many organizations try for ISO because they want to "keep up with the Jones's." Get the certificate, mount it on the wall for all to see, let Marketing run to trade shows and wave flags of success. But does it have to be this way?

People need education and understanding about things. Superficial thinking is a serious disease in this country, as well as many other places in the world. What have we done to cure this disease? I think that Quality folks need an extra measure of patience. People need time to grasp what is important and we must present it in a way people will understand.

My thoughts: We need to understand the problems. Next, we theory. We must know the inputs and learn to control them. We must continually work to improve the process.

The questions I started with are to begin the process of understanding why management is content on playing lipservice to ISO. Maybe it was something they read and didn't agree with? Maybe Scapegoat 1 or 2 painted an awful picture, or one they can't understand? What can you do to change that?

If you gain a better understanding of the problem(s), you may be able to address them successfully, thus increasing the likelihood that they will return the favor by helping you to address the issues with your CARs. Collaboration is necessary.

You aren't alone ISOGUY. The war is not lost! If you let the registrar discover the CAR problem, you may risk what you fear of losing.

Regards,

Kevin

Well that is true. I have't given up it is just very frustrating. There are many many problems with the Company I work for. I hate to say it the owners of the company don't really care about conforming to the standards, they just want the Certificate that says we are ISO certified. They see QA as an expense because " We do not make any money for the company", they don't understand that we are trying to save the company money. When ISO was first suggested I would say about 5 years ago, the person who held the job I have now really set a great system up (it was meet with great resistance and still is LOL) but as in life all good things must come to an end, and he moved on to bigger and better things. Then came the nightmare of an ISO Coordinator. He didn't do the job very well and the system went backwards instead of forward, so then I walk in and now I am stuck with, department managers having a bad taste in their mouths from this person. I am trying to rectify this situation by letting everyone know that I am here to help them not point out non-conformances and lord it over them (as was happening over the last 2 years). I think it will take some time to get them to understand that I am on their team and not against them, I know it will take some time and banging my head against the wall, but it will happen( I hope). As far as pointing out the problems in our CAR system ( I don't want to get fired) I will let the Registrar find out for themselves. Well now that I sund like I am not making any sense at all I am out of here.

I am in need of some assistance... we have several low volume products that goes to distributors. Periodically we get rejection of 1 piece. Since the distributors are all jumping on the ISO bandwagon, I am getting requests for corrective action based on a single returned unit, some may be a year old (our warranty period) and others may have seen field use. It is very difficult to determine the exact root cause of the problem (especially if they've been in service). I hate to use the old "informed the operators" as a boilerplate answer. Anyone out there have any comments?

In almost all cases, we do get rejects back (customers do not receive credits unless parts are sent). We perform return analysis on all returned parts. I've considered the threashold idea, but customer are requesting a formal written CAR regardless of return sample size in order to fulfill their ISO obligations.

My delimma is now I have a formal request for CA with only one actual part. I would love to respond with a canned CAR that says you are wasting my time... but the customer is "always" right, right?

Do your analysis. If you cannot determine the cause of the failure I would state the same in a letter to the customer. If you know what the failure mode was,, check your database. If it is not a recurrent problem I would state so and state that it has been determined that no corrective action is necessary (here is your threshold) - that as of this point you consider the failure mode to be a 'freak' failure as indicated by no other record of the same failure mode. Instead of a letter have a corrective action form and complete only the appropriate fields.

The key is to be able to say what is a repetition and what is not. Now - this is all and well for me to say, so I will put in a cavat. Let's say you make air bags. A freak failure is not well tolerated by the public or government - thus the product makes a difference.

No - the customer is not always right. You know that and I know that.

Originally posted by Spaceman Spiff:

Periodically we get rejection of 1 piece. Since the distributors are all jumping on the ISO bandwagon, I am getting requests for corrective action based on a single returned unit, some may be a year old (our warranty period) and others may have seen field use. It is very difficult to determine the exact root cause of the problem (especially if they've been in service). I hate to use the old "informed the operators" as a boilerplate answer. Anyone out there have any comments?My first question would be what do you normally do with returned units?

One thing to consider --> You have to set some threshold where you do not react.

If you do not get the unit, have a canned letter which states that without the unit no investigation can proceed.

Question-how can we relate control of non-conforming product to the corrective/preventive action clause of ISO.
We have a non-conforming product system to capture all defects and raise awareness with both operators and supervisors.
This would seem to be "corrective or preventive action taken to eliminate the causes of actual...nonconformities"
How can this be captured in a more general corrective and preventive action system.

Thanks,

AJ -- As I understand it you may wish to refocus on the "actions taken shall be to the degree appropriate to the maginitude and "commesurate with the risks involved"wording. 4.41.1

That's at least where we relate 4.13 Nonconforming product control to - 4.14 Corrective action (nonconforming product occurances recorded under 4.13 need to be placed in the correction AND/OR preventative system(S)If the Volume/Cost/ or potential current or future risk of reoccurance involved is "significant" enough for corrective action to be warranted...

I have in fact reported to our customers "at appropriate times" that the single occurance appears as an isolated situation and no further action is planned "until/unless" the risk involved becomes a costworthy or a risk worthy issue.

I have seen closure criteria mechanisims that allow closing single or low level nonconformance items using a time/delivery standard (for example only - 500 pcs delivered over a three month period with no further occurances would allow one to close becsuse that single or low level defect volume was a "freak" "flyer" etc. that in reality does not need documented correction.

However..nothing precludes re-opening the issue if future occurances of the same defect occur.
Regards
Jim

Thanks Jim,
Just a further clarification, most of our non-conformances are internally generated. Since we do combination custom/standard work, any problem has to be resolved before the job can ship. (Safety concerns paramount.)
Do these problem solutions get recorded in the Corrective and/or Preventive Action system? (We tried that with bad results.)
If not, where/how should we document these intermediate solutions?

Thanks,

AJP

Marc

Can you tell me where i can find the post about the supposed list of 'Corrective Actions' in a major airline.

Dead bugs on screen....

Live bugs on order.... etc etc

I want to use in a monthlym newsletter that i am producing for a company.

Regards

Andy

I remember it but can't remember where (if?) I have it. Will look over the holiday.

Hello Marc

I found it at; http://Elsmar.com/ubb/Forum31/HTML/000010.html

I used a mind-blowing new tool that i have just discovered, my brain, and learnt how your search function works.

As an aside, i tend to find that i am spending large amounts of time looking for these 'witty comments'. I know that humour doesnt normally belong in the ISO/Quality environment, but i find that it helpts to swallow a lot of the dry stuff. For example this i will use to explain to a company why it is important to report corrective actions.

Do you have a corner on your site where this stuff is or could be put.

Regards
------------------
Andy B

...I know that humour doesnt normally belong in the ISO/Quality environment...Au contraire! Humour fits in here quite well. Any contributions are appreciated!

Andy - the most humorus part- AND/OR the saddest part whichever way you look at it) is that with the Dilbets I've seen - I can name someone in our organization that should relate pretty well to the characters actions/opinions/attitudes - and if the right people actually took a flexible overview they could find ways of improvement in them...

Have you ever read "The Change Agents Handbook" (David Hutton)- it goes into some straight forward details on managing personal QA Guy frustration, zero's in on many of the "feeling unwanted/ or why can't I personally change this- aspects" with the added plus that it takes a humorous approch when needed..

Regards
Jim

[This message has been edited by Jim Biz (edited 28 April 2000).]

Maybe you are right, but most of the humour i see tends to be of the sarcastic type;

I recently read the 'Dilbert Principle' (well the Stagecoach doesnt reach Donegal in Winter), and i cant help but cringe a little when he takes a swipe at many of the things that we as consultants and trying to implement; Quality Systems, Team Working, Continuous Improvement etc etc.

He actually makes a list of actvities that he regards as NOT FUNDAMENTAL, and if you are participating in them you are one-level removed from your people or your product. Justlook as some of these items;

Quality Faire
Process Improvement Team
ISO 9000
Standards
Policy Improvement etc etc.

What shall we do Marc, Im feeling unloved and unwanted?

I could have discounted him as a simple sceptic who doesnt make any positive contributions, but in his last chapter he actually suggest how a good company should be run (could this be the forerunner for the next ISO 9000 2001)

For example;

Eliminate the Assholes
Let employees dress anyway they want, decorate their workspaces anyway they want...
Eliminate any artificial 'creativity' processes in the company such as the Employee Suggestion Plan or Quality Teams
Create an environment that supports curiosity and learning.
Teach employees how to be efficient
Keep meetings short
Blow off low-priority meetings.
etc etc

I have a problem...i can identify with what hes saying, maybe i am ready for a career change.

Regards



------------------
Andy B

What career do you propose changing to, Andy? Sail boat captain?

Dilbert Newsletter 22.0
----------------------------

To: Dogbert's New Ruling Class (DNRC)
From: Scott Adams
Date: December 1998


Highlights:
------------------------------------------------
- Chain letter responses
- Dogbert Answers My Mail
- True Tales Of Induhviduals
- Holiday Story
------------------------------------------------


DNRC Status
----------------

The DNRC now boasts over one billion members. I can say this because history books are written by the winners. After Dogbert conquers the world, all DNRC members will be winners. I plan to take credit for inventing gunpowder and algebra. Look for the sign-up sheet.

DNRC Time Management Tip -----------------------------------

I know you're all busy this time of year. That's why I bring you this DNRC Time Management Tip:

When your manager gives you a folder full of
assignments, try throwing it away.

Chain Letters
----------------

Lately I've received many e-mail "chain letters" from Induhviduals who believe they will get sick or die if the chain is broken. I have this image of an Induhvidual lighting up a cigarette, eating his bacon and meatloaf sandwich, and forwarding the chain letter in order to reduce his risk of illness.

To end the plague of chain e-mail, I recommend that all DNRC members respond to chain e-mail with the message below. Eventually all of the offenders will die from psychosomatic illnesses.

Chain Letter Response: "I recently received your chain letter. Over 1,000 people have sent me chain letters, and every one of them has died within six months, probably from the "Chain Letter Sender's Curse." You will probably die soon if you experience any of the following symptoms: 1) Tiredness at bedtime, 2) Hunger just before lunch, 3) Inability to remember your license plate number, or 4) Stupidity."

Dogbert Answers My Mail
--------------------------------

In this section, Dogbert answers the mail that I'm too polite to answer myself. These are all based on real letters, edited for readability. The names have been changed to make them more amusing.


Dear Mr. Adams,

I am writing to you with utmost urgency from Lagos, Nigeria. This is an investment opportunity that you will not want to miss. Ten million dollars in gold bullion has been discovered in a bank account in my family's name. But due to our current cash flow situation, we cannot afford the outrageous bank processing and legal fees to take possession of this gold which is rightfully ours. I am proposing that your kind self wire me $10,000 U.S. to cover these fees, and in return you will receive one million dollars wired to your account after we take possession of the gold. Please respond. Time is of the essence.

Swinhar

Dear Swindler,

Mr. Adams doesn't know much about Nigeria, but everything he has heard would lead him to believe that your offer is an excellent investment opportunity with no downside risk whatsoever. Unfortunately, all of Mr. Adams' money is already tied up in the Nigerian court system and he does not have the cash to pay his attorneys to get it back. I propose that you wire Mr. Adams whatever money you do have, then he will free his money for your use. He will also send you a free toaster for doing business with him. It's a win-win scenario.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

---

Dear Mr. Adams,

I am starting a webzine called Gnatzass and need your help. Although we have no subscribers yet, my plan is this: If we get only 10% of the total Internet traffic our first year, that would be great. That's where you come in. I'd like to do an interview with you for the zine. Please answer this one question by Tuesday, in 1500 words. The question is: "Who are all the Internet companies and what's good and bad about each one?" I hope this is not an imposition.

Brendan

Dear Braindead,

Mr. Adams is never too busy to help a stranger in a hopeless cause. He'll get right on it. Mr. Adams also asked me to pass along an out-of- the-box strategy for your webzine. It's a vast improvement on your current strategy and it goes like this: What if you get only 20% of the total Internet traffic in your first year, wouldn't that be much greater than 10%? If you have a financial advisor, you might want to run that calculation past him just to be safe.

Sincerely,

Dogbert
---

Dear Mr. Adams,

I'm from the Philippines. I e-mail you because I need your help. I am a college student and I have to do a report of your book The Dilbert Future and I need the summary of your book ... please send me immediately... at least five pages... thank you very much... hope you'll help me...

Luzon


Dear Luzer,

Mr. Adams will start work on your assignment immediately. While you're waiting, you might want to hedge your bets by learning a skill that does not depend on a college degree. I understand you are from the Philippines, where there are many coconuts. I recommend drilling three holes in each coconut and selling them to morons as bowling balls. If you don't know where to find any customers who can't tell the difference between a coconut and a bowling ball, I recommend selling them to yourself. If that doesn't provide enough money for you to live comfortably, try doubling the price.

Sincerely,

Dogbert


---


Dear Mr. Adams,

E-mail me about this, okay -- how do you come up with these comics?

Lydia


Dear Lydiot,

Creativity is a mysterious process involving large blocks of aged cheese, a table fan, and a balloon filled with M&Ms. Used properly, these items, plus a little bit of luck, can produce award-winning comics.

Some people think the brain is involved in cartooning, but I have known Mr. Adams for many years and I can assure you it is not.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

---


Dilbert In Service To Humanity
--------------------------------------

This report just in from the field:

"I am taking a senior-level MIS course. Our professor (who has almost no work experience) gave us an assignment of coming up with a vision statement for our school's information systems organization. A friend of mine, not wanting to spend the hours that I and other students spent fabricating a bogus statement, enlisted the aid of the Dilbert Zone (www.dilbert.com) and the Mission Statement Generator that generates nonsense Mission Statements.

The next day, the professor put my friend's vision statement up on the overhead projector and presented it as an exemplary piece of work."


True Tales Of Induhviduals --------------------------------

Induhviduals continue to pursue their destiny of providing cheap entertainment for the rest of us. Here are some more allegedly true reports from DNRC operatives in the field.


Tale 1

The manager of the IT department wrote that he needed some information regarding what he called the "Y2000K compliancy problem."

He's really thinking ahead.


Tale 2

I went to get a soda and noticed a woman trying unsuccessfully to get the soda machine to accept her dollar bill. She asked for assistance. I helpfully pushed the Coke button, one popped out, I grabbed it and started walking away. Now cleared of the "problem," the machine accepted her dollar. Her reply: "Thank you."


Tale 3

One day while leaving work I saw the security guard for our building, looking confused, standing in the parking lot. I asked what the problem was, and she replied that her car was missing. Suddenly she recalled that earlier in the day she had ordered a car towed from the reserved parking area.

It was her car.


Tale 4

This one comes to us from an Australian operative:

At the start of English class one morning a girl complained she did not have a chair to sit on. Our teacher told her to wait a moment while she went to the room next door to check if they had any spares. She left by the door at the front of our classroom and entered a moment later through the door at the rear of our class. Unaware that she had reentered the same room, she said, "Do you have any extra chairs?"

"No," someone replied.

"Okay," she said, and left.

She reentered the door in the front of the room and said, "I'm sorry, they don't have any chairs. You will just have to kneel."

To this day she is unaware what the laughter was for.

Truth In Signs
------------------

A DNRC operative reports seeing this sign in front of a local convenience store:

"Good People Wanted and Managers too!"

---

I saw this sign at the Blackhawk Cinema:

"Children under 16 must watch R-rated movies with a parent. No exceptions."

This made me wonder about the unfortunate kids who don't want to watch any R-rated movies at all. Are they forced to do it?

Correction
------------

In the last newsletter I taught you how to use Induhviduals for traction if your car gets stuck in the snow. A DNRC member wrote to say this was wrong of me.

The wrong part is that I told you to trick Induhviduals into making contact with the "rear wheels" and then flooring the gas pedal. I should have said "drive wheels" not "rear wheels" to account for front- wheel drive cars.


My Acting Career
---------------------

Depending where you live, you might be seeing me in the new barnesandnoble.com TV commercials. I play the role of a Dilbert cartoonist with too much makeup and no acting skill whatsoever. Several other authors play themselves in the other commercials in the series.

The blonde actor who talks to me in my episode is holding my new hardcover book, The Joy Of Work. You have to stand up and look at the TV from an angle to see the title on the book. You can't see it from your couch. (Note: Dilbert books are easy to wrap and they make lovely gifts.)


Dilbert TV Show Update
------------------------------

The launch date is set: Jan 25, 1999 at 8 PM. That's when you'll see the animated pilot episode of "Dilbert" on UPN. If you live in the United States, and you can get the UPN network, be sure to tune in. I don't have any information about future availability outside the U.S., but I can assure you we are bent on total global domination. Please be patient.


Dilbert Web Site Upgrade -------------------------------


We're upgrading The Dilbert Zone web site to make the best parts easier to find, and to make the colors less obvious from a distance, in case you're at work. Look for these changes in the New Year, at http://www.dilbert.com.

The redesigned Dilbert Store is available now (http://www.umstore.com/dilbert/). There are many new items, including the Dilbert M&M's candy dispenser, and you can get free items when you spend $50 or more.


Advantages of DNRC Membership -----------------------------------------

These two messages prove there are immediate and tangible advantages to DNRC membership. You don't have to wait for Dogbert's conquest of civilization to start reaping benefits.

Advantage 1 -- Better Jobs:

"I work in a high-tech recruiting firm, and today was the first time I saw a resume come across my desk that proclaimed "DNRC Member" as one of the qualifications! Straight to the top of the stack!

This ought to be standard practice, so we can all make sure that we fill our places of employment with fellow DNRC members."

Advantage 2 -- Better Grades:

(Note: some naughty words have been redacted)

"Dilbert saved my (redacted) once in college. I was habitually absent from a political science class last year, and if it wasn't for Dilbert I would have had NO CLUE as to what words like paradigm meant! Needless to say I bull(redacted) my way to a C on the midterm exam, all thanks to Dilbert and his animal buddies! Thanks for a (redacted)load of laughs, keep 'em coming!"

Holiday Story -----------------

In the tradition of the Dilbert Newsletter, I include my holiday story with no attempt at humor.

Between the ages of twelve and fifteen I earned money by shoveling snow during the frigid winter months in Windham, New York. My best customers were a retired Greek couple -- Mr. and Mrs. Amanatides -- who lived half a mile from my house. The standing agreement was that on any morning after a snowfall I would arrive at their house at 6 a.m. and shovel the sidewalk prior to Mr. Amanatides' morning walk to town.

This was no small task for a 95-pound kid. It was challenge enough to reach their house through the snow. Usually the roads weren't plowed yet, so I'd take the back way, often crawling through waist-high snowdrifts. I'd be exhausted before the shoveling even began.

As sidewalks go, this was a big job. The Amanatides' walkway went around the entire perimeter of the house and included a patio area and several sets of steps. I was instructed to shovel four inches past the edge of the sidewalk on each side to allow for proper drainage when the snow melted. I had to shovel like a crazed beaver to finish in time for school. After school, I would return and do the driveway.

It was hard work, but it paid embarrassingly well. At a time when five dollars would have been fair pay for an hour of work, Mr. Amanatides volunteered twenty. I was so uncomfortable with that amount that one day I decided to convince him to pay me less. I didn't mind the hard work, but I couldn't bear taking so much money from this nice man.

Normally we didn't talk much. I was always in a hurry and he was a man of few words. Maybe that's why I remember the conversation so well.

After the shoveling was done, I tried my reverse-negotiating technique. I insisted he pay me less from now on. Mr. Amanatides did a quick read on the situation and told me to put my shovel down and listen. He explained his thinking in simple terms, distilled from seventy years of living. When he was done, I thanked him for the money and never brought up the topic again.

Mr. Amanatides passed away some years ago. He didn't get to see that his overpaid snow-shoveler turned out okay. Although he's gone physically, he bought a bit of immortality that cold winter morning, when he looked at the skinny kid from Windham and told him something that many people never hear in their lives. He said, in his thick Greek accent, "You're worth it."

This holiday season, make yourself immortal. Let someone know how much they're worth. You'll be surprised how long they remember it.

Thanks to all of you for making this a great year for me. Have a great holiday and a great 1999.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
scottadams@aol.com

Only one person would be sending posts at this hour on a Saturday morning.
I'm tired, and couldn't believe that the only update in the Cove since I left work was posted when it was.
I'm fairly new to this quality biz, is everyone dedicated to ungodly hours in the pursuit of excellence?
By the way Andy, my brother-in-law has tried the sailboat captain gig. It's even more uncertain work than Wally's position of human weed in the Corporate Garden.
Of course, this is the same brother-in-law that tried to convince me that there were two international datelines. (He's a sailor, he's required to know these things.)
Tired and grumpy. I'm going to look at the Boeing reports again, just to raise my spirits.

AJP

Originally posted by AJPaton:

...there were two international datelines...The one you cross going east and the other one is the one you cross going west! Lemme see....

Actually it's worse, he claimed there was one in the Pacific Ocean, and another in the Atlantic. Perhaps Greenwich Median?
Other than his delusions he's a good guy.
Maybe the sailboat captain should move to quality :-)

[This message has been edited by AJPaton (edited 29 April 2000).]

[This message has been edited by AJPaton (edited 29 April 2000).]