I'm intrigued as to what the views of the covers will be here. I'm finding it increasingly more frustrating when people don't respond to e-mails and text messages and when they don't return calls when messages have been left to do so. Often this is the case with people who I know well, which makes it even worse.

This used to really get to me (still does on bad days...) though I'm trying to take different views on things as I get a little older and try to avoid anger eating away at me on a daily basis. Perhaps there are good reasons for not responding? Perhaps it's a really busy workload? Perhaps they're waiting on some further info before responding? I read somewhere that whenever something like this happens (or any other potential 'anger-generator', such as an idiotic driver cutting you up), we should ask ourselves one question - does it really matter in the big scheme of things or is it simply a minor irritant which doesn't hold any great significance and should be dismissed as such immediately?

Thoughts please, covers? I'm getting better with this type of thing but it still grates at times. Is it one of those quintessentially British traits or is it the same the world over?

Anyway, back to the meditation and chill pills... :cool:

Sometimes, we need to look at things from the angle of others.

A friend of mine is with an International giant and gets hundreds of email daily. Because emails are just so convenient, people send an email over the slightest issue. This is what he told me - the default is I will not read your email unless I also receive a short message or other forms of reminder.

Of course, he knows which are the ones he must read (his bosses). A good tool becomes a nuisance due to misuse.

I think it depends on the context, Migre, and the relationship. And I'm with Harry, one has to think about the other side of it. Are we talking work, private life or both?

For example, I'd be unimpressed with someone I knew well (friend or relation) who didn't ultimately respond. But I know that some people take longer to respond than others, and that's fine with me. I also know if it was urgent I'd say so, and they'd get back to me quickly.

But in a business setting, it's a very different ballgame. Yes, I aim for reasonable courtesy, but sometimes sheer volume and time precludes answering/ responding to everything.

At one point before I sorted my spam problem, the business was getting 150 - 200 emails a day, and I used to go cross-eyed trying to sort through them. Some may have slipped through which I should have answered.

I don't feel any obligation to respond to any unsolicited requests for jobs, work, help, etc. I just don't have the time or the inclination to respond. And frankly, most are so badly written, vague and even semi-anonymous, I wouldn't anyway.

Nor do I respond when someone just leaves a number (with/without name) and says "call me", without saying why/what about. (The final time I did that, it turned out to be a telemarketer!!! I was so angry with him I could have spit.). Might sound harsh, but my time is limited and valuable, so I just have to make some decisions on using it wisely.

I've also found that instead of guessing and assuming, it is often worth while just asking why they didn't respond. For example, I don't choose to give private help via the Cove (of which I get a few too many unsolicited requests, but that's another story.) My reasoning is: ask publicly, so everyone benefits from any responses that people make. And if I choose to post, I will; or not. But recently I made an exception (there was a good reason for it remaining private). But several days later, I'd heard nothing. I did think it was rather rude. But instead of steaming, I contacted them & said - did you get my response? Turned out something had glitched, and they hadn't ever got it. No rudeness there at all.

I regularly curse spammers and telemarketers for contributing to the sheer volume of junk around, and taking up so much valuable time. A pox upon all of 'em.

Because emails are just so convenient, people send an email over the slightest issue.

Good point Harry. I remember working somewhere that people used to do that all the time. They'd send emails to the person sitting next to them! Or in the same cubicle! Or over the other side of a partition! I couldn't believe it. :frust:

I think it depends on the context, Migre, and the relationship. And I'm with Harry, one has to think about the other side of it. Are we talking work, private life or both?

I suppose it's a bit of both Jane.

Thanks to Jane and Harry for the responses. I do appreciate the points made regarding volumes of e-mails and prioritising - e-mail does have a lot to answer for. I have to admit, for a time, I was sucked into using e-mail for a hell of a lot of correspondence, but no longer. It's time-consuming, impersonal (in comparative terms) and cold - it's so much easier phoning people (if that is a more viable option, i.e. when not needing to contact a significant number of people at once). Plus I like having things out in the open too - I've seen at first hand what can happen when people suddenly grow a little more bullish than they should when typing e-mails. Funy how that attitude often disipates in face-to-face scenarios.

Where personal issues are concerned, I try and remember that the people I class as friends are inherently good people - the fact that one or two of them have selective reply triggers (usually only when it involves organising a night out!) is just the way they are I guess.

I am also going thru the same set of exasperating emotions!!!

When I can be responsible enough as to respond to an email/msg within 3-5 minutes (unless otherwise not connected) I wonder why others can't.

For me it's a time issue.
I'm in (most mornings) 30 minutes early just to go through the emails and try to schedule my day.
Due to the nature and size of our business, I'm on the shop floor 95% of it and don't have a bunch of time to answer the mail I get the same day. I have to place priorities where it's needed.
It may have to wait until lunch or I may not be able to get to it until the next day.
It's not being rude, it's being busy. As communication is a great tool, too much communication is a distraction.
Between calls on my cell phone, business phone and business emails I have to spend what time I have in the proper portions.
Put some thought in the title of your message, it allows the person receiving it to make an informed decision on when and if to open it!

In terms of sheer volume, of course, nothing has ever approached email for the ability to drown folks in so much material, we can't sort the wheat from the chaff.

Back in the 60s and 70s, we received dozens, then hundreds of telex and TWX messages a day, most were related to business in some way, but even they were way wordier and more complex than necessary. I recall going into my private office one morning in the middle 70s and not being able to open my door without ripping piles of a telex roll which had overflowed the receiving basket on my personal telex. (The damn thing was from some con artist in Germany who was trying to swindle one of our clients.)

In the late 70's and through the 80s, the problem was faxes. I can't tell you how many risque cartoons and jokes, then advertising (fax spam) which filled our in basket each day along with important contracts and drawings. It got so bad at blocking our important messages because a line was busy with incoming junk that we ultimately installed four fax machines on a rollover line so our best customers and investors would never get a busy signal.

Good point Harry. I remember working somewhere that people used to do that all the time. They'd send emails to the person sitting next to them! Or in the same cubicle! Or over the other side of a partition! I couldn't believe it. :frust:

My kids sometimes IM my wife or me to ask whether dinner is ready from their rooms! :rolleyes:

Regarding email manners, I agree with you and Harry. Email is unreliable and it is best never to take unresponsiveness as personal.

Whether there's a general decline in good manners is a wholly different subject. Maybe it's just changing fashion. For example, chivalry is now condescension. IMHO, the best manners are displayed by folks wearing a thick shell and the other party's shoes.

I am amazed by the number of people who don't return calls or emails! It amazes me that a person would engage with an organization and then, not give them the courtesy of a response to a simple inquiry. It seems that they go to great lengths to put contact forms on websites etc and then not respond to customer inquiry. Of course it works both ways, with customers ignoring (apparently) any contacts!

Makes me wonder, sometimes......:notme:

In my work, I use emailing mostly for written evidence and attachments. But, I am a quick responder and am always surprised when other businesses neglect or forget to answer promptly.

At home, email can be very similar to the phone: an interruption, especially when I am not receptive at the time. I try very hard to be receptive before I answer the phone and email. Nothing is worse than those that answer the phone with an exasperated tone. I would rather they collect themselves later and then answer.

I teach my child not to let the phone or email interrupt eating time and family time. And, unless one is waiting for a call, most things can wait.

That certainly goes for the cell phone too. I don't understand the rudeness of answering phones in a movie theater or during a concert. I couldn't believe it when a woman allowed her phone to interrupt her twice while she was talking to a pharmacist and I was standing in line behind her! :mad:

As in business, we have provided new technology, but left out the most important parts: etiquette, expectations, and rules of engagement. :confused:

I will have to say that the message leavers are probably as much at fault as anyone. I had to listen to a message 10 times to get the phone number last week. Never did understand the name or the company. I will not do that again. Leave me a clear message, concise and well spoken. My time is valuable too. :mad:

I do try to answer all my messages at work with the exceptions of those who I cannot understand, and the few who, unbelievably, don't bother with a contact number to call back to.:confused:

But home is something different. I don't answer calls without a name in caller ID. I don't answer or even bother listening to your message if you have a blocked ID. If your number shows up without a name, leave me a message and I'll answer the next time you call. If you don't leave me a message, you will be ignored for life.

:mg: These ones take the cake:

My kids sometimes IM my wife or me to ask whether dinner is ready from their rooms!
Hope they get a suitable response.

Nothing is worse than those that answer the phone with an exasperated tone. I would rather they collect themselves later and then answer.
Me too. Though spare a thought - I had 6 telemarketers in a row one day (all with blocked numbers), so I was a bit less than my usual polite stuff when the 7th caller (another 'blocked number') started with the 'Hullo, my name is Harry, How are you today?'. Actually, turned out he was a legitimate caller. But after we got that sorted, I suggested he adopt a different 'opening phone gambit'. In my experience, that combination (Hullo, my name is + 'How are you today? + blocked number) = telemarketer 99% of the time. WOnder WHY they teach 'em to ask me how I am today. Because they really don't care, and it's a silly, time-wasting gambit. I almost prefer the 'I'd like to talk to the person in charge of ordering stationery' line as being more honest.

I don't understand the rudeness of answering phones in a movie theater or during a concert. I couldn't believe it when a woman allowed her phone to interrupt her twice while she was talking to a pharmacist and I was standing in line behind her!
Me either. I've had something similar happen, though only (only!) once in my case, and that made me mad enough. :mad:

Those instances make my blood boil! We were in the local supermarket recently and a woman in front of us stopped putting her shopping on the conveyor belt in order to take a call. Needless to say, words were exchanged. The sheer ignorance of such people is unbelievable.

The sheer ignorance of such people is unbelievable.

I'd call it more than ignorance - an almost complete lack of empathy/inability (or unwillingness?) to put themselves in someone else's shoes, and consider the impact of THEIR actions on someone else.

Such a situation usually makes me wish I had a mobile phone 'jammer' that I could turn on at will. (gnashes teeth).

I personally don't mind not getting a response. But if I need a response and I am promised one and I don't get it it really annoys me.
On the other hand I'm guilty as anyone so I guess we are all hypocrites.. !!

It was mentioned that people get 'hundreds' of e-mails daily. Really? I'm sure i'm at the very low end of the spectrum, but hundreds seems unrealistic, unless all spam filters are off.

I would be interested to see some actual numbers of valid e-mails per day that people receive - if anyone cares to share.

For now, I will continue to find the lack of an e-mail response un-professional at best.

Neil,

In a former life, I would regularly receive over 100 e-mails/day that were legitimate. I didn't have to reply to them all, but, I did receive them and had to at least read them.

I remember when I went on my honeymoon for 1 week. I came back to over 900 e-mails. After getting rid of the spam that got through the filters, I had 635 legitimate e-mails to review.

In my current life, 20 is a busy day. MUCH easier to deal with.

I think it depends on the type of work you're in..

on my case, we are on production support, so everything that arrives on our mail needs to be responded to. It doesn't have to be the answer immediately.. as long as we acknowledge that we received the email and tell them when we can deliver it, our clients would be happy.. we just make sure you get back to them on the promised date otherwise there will be issues

however, there are instances that we'll be flooded with emails that despite having someone monitor the dropbox the entire day, it isn't just enough.. on that case, we'll just have to apologize if someone gets angry if we did not reply.. :lol:

I'm semi-retired, but I still receive over 100 legitimate emails to my primary email address every day. In my full time life, I received about 3 times that many legitimate emails per day. This does NOT include email notices from the Cove which goes to a special, non-public email address.

I also am the primary official on several email addresses for three associations, handling all the public inquiries.

All told, I probably read 200 to 300 legitimate emails on weekdays and about 1/3 that number on weekends. At least 50% of that number need only be read, not answered. Of the remainder which need to be answered, I am able to use boilerplate responses for 75 or so and the remainder require individual content-specific responses keyed to the incoming message.

A few months back, the feds busted a huge spammer headquartered out near Washington,DC and almost immediately, my spam load dropped by over 50% and has stayed relatively low since.. In the past 60 days, I have received zero spam for real or genuine Viagra and Cialis, but my Nigerian letters and eBay, PayPal, and bank scam letters have gone up to about 50 per day.

I clean out my spam box everyday. I came in this morning and had 328 more that the filter had canned.

I regularly curse spammers and telemarketers for contributing to the sheer volume of junk around, and taking up so much valuable time. A pox upon all of 'em.

and, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest each of their armpits & couches... :mad:

I would be interested to see some actual numbers of valid e-mails per day that people receive - if anyone cares to share.
You're lucky if all your emails are valid. Means a lot of smart IT people have worked at making sure all yours are 'valid'.

Mine got up to 300+ a day at one time; no, not all were 'valid' (dammit) but they sure choke up your inbox!

Spammers are highly ingenious, and constantly improving their methods to make sure that their invalid emails appear 'valid'. And for small/medium-sized business owners without dedicated IT departments (eg, mine), this can take up a lot of time to solve.

On a more serious note (if I may) I've just got done watching a very interesting program from BBC tv (in the UK, on BBC's 'iPlayer', available on subscription, from www.dualviewer.com - I'm not affiliated, btw).

The program is about the declining standards of respect in the UK, the high juvenile crime rate, murders, teenage pregnancy etc. It's very worrying, in many respects to see the decline in only 20 - 40 years of a sense of community and the results of that on a population of near poverty youth.

I found it to be, as one might expect from the BBC, a good item of research and presentation. Makes one think and realize that others have it harder than some!

what about receiving emails like these?

1. chain mails - Please send this to at least 1 million recipients or something bad will happen to you this weekend. take note additional warning… PLS Do Not Ignore!

2. mails composed using the lips rather than the fingers e.g. hallhowwww tehrr! Tz meh! Downt u remembahhh mehhh!!! Benn zooo loooonngg sinz lhast sah yah..

3. mails that are full of colors and blinkers and after reading it you might want to go to ophthalmologist. :lol:

what about receiving emails like these?

1. chain mails - Please send this to at least 1 million recipients or something bad will happen to you this weekend. take note additional warning… PLS Do Not Ignore!

2. mails composed using the lips rather than the fingers e.g. hallhowwww tehrr! Tz meh! Downt u remembahhh mehhh!!! Benn zooo loooonngg sinz lhast sah yah..

3. mails that are full of colors and blinkers and after reading it you might want to go to ophthalmologist. :lol:


correeeeeeeeeeeeeeect! bravo "kabayan!":applause::applause::applause: