I was taking the train recently and had the most "interesting" person sit beside me...please, bear with me and read about this charming creature I emailed a friend of mine about...

From RC's email...

Chick beside me on the train...


Can't figure out if 5A is her seat so she shows me her ticket. 5A...yes, I know it's tough to sound out the big words...
Is wearing a short dress and tight black boots...and hasn't shaved in a few days. I can't stop staring at the velcro that covers her legs.
Forgot her credit card and has left her car illegally parked at the XYZ train station. She is now attempting to get someone to help her out. Her car is unlocked. The keys are in her car. She convinced a guy - not her fiance (he said no and right about now is probably trying to find a way out of this commitment) - to go to her car, get her keys, pay for parking until Thursday, put the ticket in her car, lock the car and leave the keys with the VIA clerk.
She forgot to tell this person where she hid the keys in her car.
She arrived with 10 minutes to go before the train arrived.
She forgot to pack toothpaste.
She is meeting a friend at a Toronto hotel and brought - and I quote - an "outdoor bathing suit".
She's getting her urine blessed on Friday. HUH?!?!


If I was her fiance, I would leave town and not give a forwarding address. All of this was learned in the first 10 minutes of her sitting down.

*** About 30 minutes later ***

From RC's email...

Miss Velcro is quite the character. Her skirt is very short and very tight and I presume things are a little uncomfortable 'down there'. Why do I say this? Because she's been squirming for a while - and while every lady has tried this, we all know it won't readjust our underwear. She put her hairy, booted leg on the back of the chair in front of her, braced herself and tried to readjust things by sticking her hand behind her. And, realizing that this wasn't going to work, she just jammed her hand up her skirt and readjusted things...right there! In the seat! With me beside her! :mg:

***

Yup...you meet the most interesting people on the train...

30 years or so ago and real close to closing time she could have been just about right :drunk: :lol:

It could have been worse - she might have been one of those folks who invited you to "bunk with" her at her destination hotel (a conversation I overheard between two women from two rows away on a plane recently.) The target of that conversation was distinctly uncomfortable for those 15 minutes we were required to keep our seat belts on.

My comment to my wife was that the would-be female Don Juan merely wanted to gross out a seat companion so she could have more room because the target never returned to the seat once the seat belt sign went off.;)

That's what I hate about people talking on cell phones (in public). They are totally oblivious to others around them. Last, I was in the waiting at the doctor's and was "treated" to listening to a guy trying to settle a marital dispute. It got so loud and nasty that people actually left the waiting room until an assistant intervened.

Roxane, I go watch the movie: "Strangers on a Train (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strangers_on_a_Train_(film))." A great movie by the way...

Stijloor.

When being forced to listen to someone having a very animated, loud conversation on the phone, (generally, taking place while waiting in the gate area in an airport), I've often contemplated going up to the person, interupting them and asking why I wasn't sent an agenda for the meeting I'm attending....!!

She's getting her urine blessed on Friday. HUH?!?!:yuk: What? Ewww! :yuk:

If you enjoyed that, you need to come visit our local "coffee" house. I think I saw your girl's sister last week.;)

:yuk: What? Ewww! :yuk:I've heard the phrase as a euphemism for getting negative results on a drugstore pregnancy test - i.e. girl is happy she is NOT pregnant

Randy,

Not even then! Like I used to say "not if I was to wear something that had Goodyear stamped on the side of it!".

Ewww! Couldn't drink enough to make that look attractive.

John

I've heard the phrase as a euphemism for getting negative results on a drugstore pregnancy test - i.e. girl is happy she is NOT pregnant
Get out!! That's a new one for me.

TMI, TMI, TMI, Laalaalaalaalaalaa:lmao:

Couldn't drink enough to make that look attractive.

I have a male friend that has two "rules" when it comes to women...

1. How many drinks would it take?
2. Would you tell any one?

If the answer to #1 is very high and the answer to #2 is 'no', then the woman is immediately scratched from his list.

It's a very simple flowchart in retrospect...

I have a male friend that has two "rules" when it comes to women...

1. How many drinks would it take?
2. Would you tell any one?

If the answer to #1 is very high and the answer to #2 is 'no', then the woman is immediately scratched from his list.

It's a very simple flowchart in retrospect...And...she doesn't have to worry about having her urine blessed! Win/Win:tg:

Y'know what's really worrying me. That people like the subject in Roxanne's post don't seem to care or know that they and their (weird or not) conversations aren't that interesting, to the majority.

Whatever happened to peoples' sense of privacy etc?

I have a male friend that has two "rules" when it comes to women...

1. How many drinks would it take?
2. Would you tell any one?

If the answer to #1 is very high and the answer to #2 is 'no', then the woman is immediately scratched from his list.

It's a very simple flowchart in retrospect...My guess is that friend has lots of female counterparts with the same rules for men they date - I remember a vaudeville bit:
HE: "How many drinks does it take to make you dizzy?"
SHE: "Two! And my name is Daisy, not Dizzy."

And...she doesn't have to worry about having her urine blessed! Win/Win:tg:Much better than killing rabbits!

Y'know what's really worrying me. That people like the subject in Roxanne's post don't seem to care or know that they and their (weird or not) conversations aren't that interesting, to the majority.

Whatever happened to peoples' sense of privacy etc?Sense of privacy disappeared with telephone booths - Clark Kent is Jonesing for the return of telephone booths.

Randy,

Not even then! Like I used to say "not if I was to wear something that had Goodyear stamped on the side of it!".

Ewww! Couldn't drink enough to make that look attractive.

John

Apparently you never spent 20 months in jungle, swamps and mountains with nothing but ugly Marines as company. Even my 1st mother in law would look good.......:lol:

I have a male friend that has two "rules" when it comes to women...

1. How many drinks would it take?
2. Would you tell any one?

If the answer to #1 is very high and the answer to #2 is 'no', then the woman is immediately scratched from his list.

It's a very simple flowchart in retrospect...

generally, the guys who have rules like that aren't the type that women would put on their lists either. So, the problem tends to take care of itself...:D

When being forced to listen to someone having a very animated, loud conversation on the phone, (generally, taking place while waiting in the gate area in an airport), I've often contemplated going up to the person, interupting them and asking why I wasn't sent an agenda for the meeting I'm attending....!!

stand 18 inches from their face with a nptepad, stare at them attentively, and take many notes...

stand 18 inches from their face with a nptepad, stare at them attentively, and take many notes.... . . and ask them to repeat periodically to assure you noted it correctly

.........a bottle of Jose Cuervo, a paper bag and an a US flag could make it go easier:lol:

Sounds to me like she could have been doing a Sociology experiment or something like the Candid Camera of old.

Apparently you never spent 20 months in jungle, swamps and mountains with nothing but ugly Marines as company. Even my 1st mother in law would look good.......:lol:

Haha! I remember similar days when i was in the Corps.:D

.........a bottle of Jose Cuervo, a paper bag and an a US flag could make it go easier:lol:Areyou saying such an encounter would knock you off the wagon?

Sounds to me like she could have been doing a Sociology experiment or something like the Candid Camera of old.Where is Allan Funt when you really need him to pop up and shout, "Smile, you're on . . . !"

Yup...you meet the most interesting people on the train...

They are not just on the train, they are everywhere. My goal in life is to never be one of those interesting people... And yes, the 2 rule principle worked well when I was younger. As I got a little older, a third question / rule snuck in there... Would I be likely to catch anything (if she did happen to pass the first two tests)?:notme:

That's what I hate about people talking on cell phones (in public). They are totally oblivious to others around them.

I like to answer people talking on their cell phones in public places... especially when they are in front of me in a deli or grocery store, with the cashier trying to talk to them and the cell phone conversation going on and me behind them having a little fun...:biglaugh:

Back in the 1970s I boarded a CTA (public) bus in Chicago late at night. I sat just forward of the rear exit door, and didn't pay much attention to the people sitting behind me, except to note that there were several--perhaps ten or twelve. As the ride proceeded (I had a long way to go) the bus gradually emptied out until I was the only one left in the front half of the bus, and in the rear half it appeared (from conversation I could hear) that there were perhaps only two people.

After a time a conversation between those two ensued, and it sounded like a teenaged girl and her mother. The subject of the conversation was the boyfriend of the girl, whom the mother apparently didn't like. Just before I got off the bus it was going something like this:

Mother: That kid is no good, and I don't want you to see him anymore!
Daughter: Oh, mom, you're wrong! He's really very nice and you just need to get to know him!
Mother: (agitated) No I don't need to get to know him! He's just no good and that's all there is to it!
Daughter: (also agitated) I don't care what you say! I love him and he loves me and you can't stop me from seeing him!

At about this point the bus came to my stop, and as I was exiting through the rear door I glanced back in the direction of the voices I had been hearing.

There was only one person there. :mg:

My comment to my wife was that the would-be female Don Juan merely wanted to gross out a seat companion so she could have more room because the target never returned to the seat once the seat belt sign went off.;)That strategy does work. I've seen a similar situation taking place, during a flight. The difference is: it only took one question for the passenger to get up and move to another seat. Do you want to know the question?

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Son, HAVE YOU BEEN SAVED?:rolleyes:

That strategy does work. I've seen a similar situation taking place, during a flight. The difference is: it only took one question for the passenger to get up and move to another seat. Do you want to know the question?
<snip>
Son, HAVE YOU BEEN SAVED?:rolleyes:

This is the other reason that you can't open the windows on airplanes.

So, basically you are telling me that the wierdos that I always get stuck next to on the planes are just trying to get me to move? Boy, do I feel stupid now!:bonk: I thought I was some kind of freak magnet.

So, basically you are telling me that the wierdos that I always get stuck next to on the planes are just trying to get me to move? Boy, do I feel stupid now!:bonk: I thought I was some kind of freak magnet.The primary defense is a pair of earphones (they don't have to be connected to any working device) and the brisk phrase, "Please don't disturb me, I have some important stuff I must listen to!"

Of course, for some of us, the best defense is a good offense - following the Golden Rule of modern travel etiquette:
"Do unto others first!"

yeah, before the MP3 and IPOD days, I carried a book and got into reading as soon as I sat down. Unfortunately, that just prompted questions about the book, and my reading habits. I always wanted to mock up a cover that read Serial Killers Guide to Success, Things You Can Do to Avoid Detection I figured that would keep people away, flip side was I was a little worried about who I would meet at the next stop, and would they be carrying handcuffs.