There are thousands of these things. Is there one that sticks out that was just 'off' in some way? Like it made you laugh instead of motivate.

Here's one...

"Be all you can be"

Just thinking of it makes me want to break water laughing :lmao:

"It's like trying to eat an elephant, you just do it one bite at a time."Now, who in their right mind wakes up in the morning and says, ok, I'm gonna eat an elephant?

My personal favorite motivational quote is "Take no prisoners" lol

"Management is behind you" :ca:

"There are no stupid questions."


Don't get me started on that one....

Here's one...

"Be all you can be"

Just thinking of it makes me want to break water laughing :lmao:


Outstanding Marine! I laughed real hard when I saw you post. :applause:

IBM used to have, "No wind blows in favor of that ship which has no port of destination"...

Dilbert must have some good examples...


Dave :cool:

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going"

I first heard that in 1962; at the time I would have preferred "when the going gets tough, it's time to stop and think about why in the h*** you 're doing this"

"Our employees are our most important resource". And various variations on that...

They have been used over the years by a few companies whose true actions were diametrically opposed to that ideal.

"Our employees are our most important resource". And various variations on that...

They have been used over the years by a few companies whose true actions were diametrically opposed to that ideal.

I think that is the winner so far. . . :agree1:

I feel your pain...but

I like Mike's as well! :yes:

Though not necessarily motivational slogans...

"Think outside the box" - WORN OUT!

"Your call is important to us" - YEAH RIGHT!

Some years ago I was working to prepare a manufacturing plant for QS9000 registration. At our corporate headquarters we were having a meeting with all of the plant quality managers. The president showed up and tried to motivate us with this:

"Remember, there are 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week"

There was a follow-up the next year. After successful registration of all plants to QS-9000 (the main criterion of our performance-based evaluations that year) we were told:

"There is no money for raises this year"

How about those two motivational quotes!

Not my company but...

Communication meeting announcement by CEO: "Due to the tough market and a decrease in orders, we will be reducing the number of hours worked from 40 to 32. This will save us approximately $2-million this year."

Communication meeting announcement by CEO one month later: "Due to outstanding performance, the senior management has been granted bonuses equating to $2-million. Good job to all of you for helping the company."

It would be really funny if it weren't so true. . .

Here's one...

"Be all you can be"

Just thinking of it makes me want to break water laughing :lmao:

Hey now you Marines - I was all I could be and did "more before 9:00am than most people do all day". :D You breakin' water laughin' at me? :tg:

Hey now you Marines - I was all I could be and did "more before 9:00am than most people do all day". :D You breakin' water laughin' at me? :tg:

My intial quote and yours Cari are both Army slogans...uh huh..

The Marines are..

"All we need is a few good men (and women)"

"We never promised you a rose garden"

"The few, the proud, the Marines"

"First to fight"

"Semper Fidelis"

"The Marines have landed and the situation is well in hand"

I imagine Sam and a couple of others know some more, but these do motivate.

OK, this may be slightly :topic: but here goes: The auditors' slogan:

"We're not happy until you're not happy"

Ok, try this one:

We come from the head office. We are here to help you.:tunnel:

Right , that makes me feel nice and secure.... Where can I hide? :mg:

/Claes

What are the two biggest lies in the business world?

When the corporate guys say, "We're here to help.",

and when the guys at the plant say, "We're glad to see you."


Another one I came across:
"Due to the current financial constraints, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice."

DP

"Due to the current financial constraints, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice."

Oh that's good!...especially in light of lean operations, cut-backs, and the drive to conserve energy so we don't have another blackout! :)

I like, "The beatings will continue until morale improves...." :)


Dave :cool:

As my Dilbert-a-Day calendar reads today...."In your workspace, no one can hear you scream."

I like, "The beatings will continue until morale improves...."

Good one! Along the same lines (sorta), a quote from Ozzy Osbourne:

"This will end in tears!"

Don't know how effective/motivational it would be in the business world, but it makes my kids move their butts! (tee hee)

DP - Laughed out loud at the "light at the end of the tunnel" one too.

Here is mine, in fact I even had it made into a desk plaque

"To keep getting the same old results, keep doing the same old thing"

Cindy

Ok, try this one:

We come from the head office. We are here to help you.:tunnel:

Right , that makes me feel nice and secure.... Where can I hide? :mg:

/Claes
Claes:

I believe that shgould read:

"We're from the government and we're here to help you."

One I had forgotten about until Cindy posted hers.

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got".

Heard this at one of the TQM seminars in the late 80's.

I like, "The beatings will continue until morale improves...." :)


Dave :cool:

Hey! I was going to use that! :mad:

Remember, we all bring happiness. If not in the arrival, then in the departure.

Remember, we all bring happiness. If not in the arrival, then in the departure.

And I guess that in between those two events lies Purgetory huh? :lmao:

And I guess that in between those two events lies Purgetory huh? :lmao:

I was thinking that it was my cubicle, but Purgatory is close enough. :D

I was thinking that it was my cubicle, but Purgatory is close enough. :D

I'm going to start referring to you as Darth Dilbert. . . :lmao:

I'm going to start referring to you as Darth Dilbert. . . :lmao:

:topic: I do have a red fleece cloak that wraps around me and drops almost to the ground...I look like one of the Emperor's Guards by the elevator when I wear it. :D

Claes:

I believe that shgould read:

"We're from the government and we're here to help you."Not around here, it shouldn't... From our point of view those guys carry a lot more clout than our government does.
/Claes

A former employer used to use the phrase "where the rubber meets the road" all of the time.

Not sure if it was supposed to be motivational or not but I never really had a clue what he was trying to say by using that phrase!!! :confused:

I very much liked these motivational response when someone complained about lack of morale (from the CEO no less);

"your own attitude is your own problem" and the related and more humorous

"nevertheless a positive attitude is required, if you do not have one, your own future here is bleak"

I have a new favorite from the Ben Stiller movie "Dodge Ball":

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

A good metaphore for so many situations!

suround yourself with positive, like minded people!

Knowledge is power! Once you have it no one can take it away, however
knowledge shared is an even greater power. :o

I had a VP many years ago (long since gone) who during an all-hands staff meeting had us all stand up. We then had to stand on our tippy toes and reach with our arms up to the sky. "Reach up on your tippy toes"

That was how we were to approach our work, he said.

Hi folks...it's been a while...

One that makes me cringe:

"There is no 'I' in team..."

Uh, Sir...you bet your :ca: there is when *I* am the only one doing anything!!) :lmao:

Cheers,
-R.

Hi folks...it's been a while...

One that makes me cringe:

"There is no 'I' in team..."

Uh, Sir...you bet your :ca: there is when *I* am the only one doing anything!!) :lmao:

Cheers,
-R.Good one. ROTFLMAO

"Our employees are our most important resource".Another twist to this one:

"Our employees are our most important asset - Let's sell them!" http://elsmar.com/Forums/images/smilies/omg.gif

/Claes

I once heard the following attributed to Phil Jackson & Micheal Jordan (although I can't verify it with a quick web search).

Coach to Star Player: There is no "I" in "team".
Star Player to Coach: No, but there is in "win".

Hi folks...it's been a while...

One that makes me cringe:

"There is no 'I' in team..."


Yeah, but there is a 'me'.

Claes:

I believe that shgould read:

"We're from the government and we're here to help you."

Hey... I resemble that remark!!http://elsmar.com/Forums/images/smilies/embarrassed.gif

Another twist to this one:

"Our employees are our most important asset - Let's sell them!" http://elsmar.com/Forums/images/smilies/omg.gif

/Claes
Just slightly off topic, but Claes, since you are our Swedish connection, can you confirm if the legend that, decades ago, Electrolux's slogan was:
NOTHING SUCKS LIKE AN ELECTROLUX! is true?

Obviously they were trying to brag about the vaccumming power of their machines, but it sure does not translate well into English:lmao:

it sure does not translate well into English Brilliant example of Swenglish... I have heard that one, but I have no idea wether it's true or not. I will have a look, though.


/Claes

Ok, I had my look around:References to that slogan is all over the place, but I failed miserably in my attempts to verify it. However, I can not dismiss it either...

My guess? It could very well be true.. Can anybody help us out here?

Just slightly off topic, but Claes, since you are our Swedish connection, can you confirm if the legend that, decades ago, Electrolux's slogan was:
NOTHING SUCKS LIKE AN ELECTROLUX! is true?


I have heard of that slogan before, mind you I come from Germany and
our vaccum was always and electrolux. - so not sure where I've seen / heard it.
I don't have any to quote , but VW has some pretty good comercials out there too. what about the Ikea once on the radio?! now they are a hoot.
I kill myself laughing everytime, not sure if its the guys accent and dry sense of humor or if it is what he is actually saying. it fancies my funny bone. :biglaugh:

[QUOTE=Sidney Vianna]Just slightly off topic, but Claes, since you are our Swedish connection, can you confirm if the legend that, decades ago, Electrolux's slogan was:
NOTHING SUCKS LIKE AN ELECTROLUX! is true?


I have heard of that slogan before, mind you I come from Germany and
our vaccum was always and electrolux. - so not sure where I've seen / heard it.
I don't have any to quote , but VW has some pretty good comercials out there too. what about the Ikea once on the radio?! now they are a hoot.
I kill myself laughing everytime, not sure if its the guys accent and dry sense of humor or if it is what he is actually saying. it fancies my funny bone. :biglaugh: Check these out. (http://www.dobhran.com/humor/GRhumor159.htm)

"I with the government and I'm here to help"