How to stop this abuse.....
Posted 10th August 2012 at 02:24 PM by NikkiQSM
I suppose I feel the need to post this to get it off my chest and so that I can get an understanding from others what they would do or say. My GM the owner of the company can be very harsh. He wants things done a certain way,….his way. He wants us to make our own decisions in sticky situations, and involve him less. But again, it is a gamble because how do you do the correct thing (what he would do) without bugging him? Getting to the point now... After almost 8 years working for the man, he has made me cry my eyes on dozens and dozens of occasions. He has yelled, and screamed profanity in my face - He has made degrading comments to me - He has scolded me in front of my workers and even customers before... Recently, (the day before yesterday), I made a mistake. I provided information to a customer that pretty much stated a product we made for them was no good. When I arrived into work yesterday morning, I noticed an email from my GM stating he wanted to see me in the morning to talk about the email I sent to the customer. I knew I was going to be yelled at... I waited all day for the scolding to happen. Around 2pm, I was asked into his office with our Quality Control Manager. The door was left open - (door open to the Sales hallway - where 4 different customer reps sit with their doors open) - The first thing he says, "Do you know that I wanted to strangle you when I read that email you sent?" I basically admitted fault at that point because making excuses makes it worse. Technically though, I am not even suppose to talk to customers - customer service is suppose to - but for some reason he asked me to talk to the customer about a situation. I explained at that point that I hated talking to customers, because I always mess it up - He called that an excuse. His next comment, "I was sitting here looking at that email asking myself, 'Does this girl have a brain?' ". Later on, a co-worker in sales, sends me a message on a social network. She explains how all the customer service reps heard the whole thing and cant believe I sat there taking it. Why do I take it? I do not have a college degree and even with one, I would never find a job that pays this well. After taking this for years now - How can I approach the owner of this company and ask that he stops this... Any ideas?
Total Comments 12
Comments
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Dear me... Your GM wants you to make your own decisions without bugging him, but you are not allowed to make mistakes. It clearly does not work that way.
How to stop the abuse? With him being the owner and all, I would say that your options are limited, and all of them includes leaving the place. He is not likely to change, is he?
Besides: Why are you so certain that you would never find a job that pays as well as your current one, and even if you actually could not, is it worth it?
/ClaesPosted 15th August 2012 at 01:28 AM by Claes Gefvenberg 
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Make a plan for your life! Stop being a victim. If you do not have a degree, get one. Choose something you like. Don't make excuses. Colleges have classes 24 hous a day with online programs.
Your integrity is your own. Make it a goal each day of being "error free".
If the GM does not respect you or your value to the company, your may be looking for a job involuntarily.
Sorry to be tough. I want you to feel empowered to influence your environment.Posted 16th August 2012 at 10:28 PM by cdwa
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Tough situation, Nikki. I am sorry to hear that you have to endure that kind of behaviour. Unfortunately, it is not such a rare behaviour for company owners, they tend to think that they can do whatever they like.
IMO there is only one approach that you can take. Seek other employment. Make a plan, do your research so you can select companies with a better culture, analyse your strengths and interests, and prepare a good presentation of yourself for interviews. Go over your posts here at the Cove and look at the thanked posts, they do provide a positive feedback of your knowledge, which can help boost your ego.
Best of luck.Posted 24th August 2012 at 12:55 AM by Gert Sorensen
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8 years? I bet he values you more than you reckon. I would request a meeting and run through has completely out of order behavious with him and explain that it needs to change or you will leave - and leave if you have to! I bet you get something better!
Posted 27th August 2012 at 10:50 AM by gavinjordan
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I empatize with you.You cant change others but you can change yourself. You want the income and yet go through hell everyday is not worth at all. Money is not everything. You have a choice .Just be yourself, take a short break. Build your self confidence and make the final decision to move out without causing further friction between you and your GM. Leave the place with confidence and should you come back , it will be with great pride and dignity. Take up some courses while you find a job that makes you happy before jumping for a better career.
Posted 29th August 2012 at 09:14 AM by quality concept
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Thanks everyone for your comments - I am actually extremely close to getting another job in a related field. I am very excited and my current employer has no idea right now. I am curious if I should explaint to him that his harsh words and treatment is the reason I am leaving or if I should just go quietly...
Posted 30th August 2012 at 03:56 PM by NikkiQSM
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Nikki, I bet you go quietly..... most people do, its easier, you always yhink about references, your colleagues etc. I have a project manager for 1 of my contracts who is terrible - will I say anything to the organisation? I should, but I bet I dont!
Posted 30th August 2012 at 04:38 PM by gavinjordan
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You work for this guy why?
Posted 9th September 2012 at 09:38 AM by JoeDM
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Nikki, best of luck with landing the new position. The current situation isn't good for your health. When you leave for the new job, it will be very tempting to tell your boss everything that has been building up inside you, but it won't make you feel any better. In fact, you will probably feel worse afterwards. Since you're leaving anyway, there is nothing to be gained from telling him anything at all. I bet he'll figure it out on his own; an employee who talks with her feet is saying all that matters loud and clear.
If the new job doesn't work out and you're stuck with this man, you may need to take a few steps to protect yourself to an extent.... like closing the door everytime you enter his office and having his directions written in email rather than verbal. You might also take a look at your image, because it is clear he shows you no respect... Wear suits. It is amazing how differently people treat you - and how you feel about yourself- when in a nice suit. He will find it harder to berate someone who looks like they stepped out of an executive office. This is not a theory, it is real and will work even on tough men like your boss. Besides, they will also wonder if you're "interviewing"... hahhaha!Posted 15th October 2012 at 04:14 PM by JodiB
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Good advice here.
He won't change and changing yourself is not as easy as you might think so the best option is to change jobs.
Your best approach is to simply hand in your notice and don't burn any bridges. Some "difficult" managers have been known to try and spoil your new job in some way if they are particularly aggrieved by you leaving or the reasons you give.
So do not say you are leaving because you hate his guts and he is the worse manager you have ever worked for. This won't make him any happier.
Simply thank him for employing you and say that it has been a valuable learning experience and say that it is time to move on and try new things.
Thank him even if you don't feel like it.
Don't say you are leaving because he is making your life miserable.
Exit interviews are always a problem.
If he has been like this for the eight years you've been there and doesn't know how bad it is, your telling him won't make him happy nor change him him.
Far better to leave on a happy note which may defuse any adverse reaction from him.
Be all ready to go when you hand in your notice. He may want you escorted off the premises immediately or he may want you to work your notice period.
PS you say the other workers don't know why you take it. Does this mean that his attitude is directed exclusively at you or is he pretty much the same with everyone?
Academic if you land the new job but be nice to know why. If he thinks so badly of you, why has he not fired you? He sounds like a hire and fire type. It suggests that he does value your work but has a strange way of showing it and you should draw confidence from that to take to your new job.Posted 20th October 2012 at 09:53 AM by JMW123
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