The Cove Business Standards Discussion Forums More Free Files Forum Discussion Thread Post Attachments Listing Cove Discussion Forums Main Page
Miner's MSA (Measurement Systems Analysis) Blog
Elsmar XML RSS Feed
Elsmar Cove Forum RSS Feed

Monitor the Elsmar Forum
Courtesy Quick Links

Links that Cove visitors will find useful in your quest for knowledge:

ASQ - American Society for Quality

International Standards Organization - ISO Standards and Information

Quality Forum Online

International Quality Services

Marcelo Antunes'
SQR Consulting, and
Medical Devices Expert Forum

Bob Doering
Bob Doering's Blogs and,
Correct SPC - Precision Machining

NIST's Engineering Statistics Handbook

IRCA - International Register of Certified Auditors

SAE - Society of Automotive Engineers

Quality Digest

IEST - Institute of Environmental Sciences and Technology

Related LinkedIn Groups

ISO 9001 for Small Businesses

ISO 9001:2015 Revision Discussions

Information Security Community

Medical Devices Group

Quality and Regulatory Network

FDA (Food and Drugs)

AS91XX Series - Tips and Advice

Single Post View
  Post Number #42  
Old 11th January 2007, 01:52 PM
Icy Mountain's Avatar
Icy Mountain

Total Posts: 887
External Auditor's Response to Blood Pressure

My registrar's auditor (a.k.a. He Who Makes Coffee Nervous) responded with this Draft Report:
In Reply to Parent Post by Health Advisory: Audits raise blood pressure. 1/9/2007 AP-wire Rjk

Scientific evidence now proves that audits raise blood pressure significantly. Be advised for your own safety when involved in this potentially dangerous activity. The US Center for Disease Control offers the following precautions if and when you are involved:

1) Avoid conflict and any excess stimulation with the auditor.

2) Emergency equipment such as portable cardiac defibrillators and oxygen are advised before, during, and after audits.

3) Remain calm and utilize the Socratic method of answering a question with a question to always seek the truth.

4) Do not schedule health fairs during audits as this causes high blood pressure and emotional stress for employees.

5) Drink plenty of fluids, avoid bright lights, and stay out of the heat during all interrogations.

6) If you do not know the answer to a question, remain silent.

7) Calmly mention the fact that you are sick with a highly contagious virus as you are introduced to the auditor.

8) Seek first aid immediately if needed.

9) Wear suitable personal protective equipment and attire.

10) Remind the auditor of their obligation to the health, safety, and well being of humanity.

Sponsored Links
Sponsored Links


The time now is 05:51 AM. All times are GMT -4.
Your time zone can be changed in your UserCP --> Options.


NOTE: This forum uses "Cookies" -- The Elsmar Cove is *Copyright Free*.
A Peachfarm LLC Internet Property