The Elsmar Cove "Humour Thread" - CAUTION - 'Big Kid' Content

[Jamie]

I thought this was cute!


At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
everything, including human beings. Little Johnny
seemed especially intent when they told him how
Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in
the week his mother noticed him lying down as though
he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter?
Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side.
I think I'm going to have a wife."

[Jamie]

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the
bathroom. A few minutes later,a loud, bloodcurdling scream is heard coming from the
bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
What's all the screaming about in there? he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"
I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk,
"and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the **** out of my
testicles."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

[Randy Stewart]

Here's a couple pix you may enjoy.

[Randy]

Found at a recent yard sale in the USA.

[Randy Stewart]

I like it Randy.

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist (true story)

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo:

"Defrost the chicken".

[Randy]

At least we have someone to blame everything on.

Check this out

[db]

check what out?