April Fool help - Preparing for April 1, 2004

April Fool help

Ok, many of you know that I have a mean streak... :notme:and I know that some of you do too, don't deny it. So, here is your chance: I hereby invite you to help me out with ideas for April 1'st. I'm looking for something QMS or ISO9000 related to put on our intranet.

Any takers? Quality jokes, over here please :D

/Claes
 
C

Craig H.

Well, Claes, looking at the ISO web site, I see that there is a section (55.230) concerning Distribution and vending machines. Is that close enough to ISO for you?

I have never laid eyes on this document, but I have heard a rumor that there is a requirement concerning your type of soda machine that the product, once dispensed, must be shaken for thirty seconds before consumption because of the minimal vibration of that particular model of vending device.
 

Wes Bucey

Prophet of Profit
No joke

I usually post this during the last week in March - maybe it can be part of your April 1 campaign.
 

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Thank's guys.

I'll check that link, Craig.

I have of course seen that Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and nobody thing before, but not in connection with 6.2.2... Pretty clever, that. We are in fact going to have a meeting with all auditors April 1st (Very good timing, eh), and I'll use it there.

:agree1:

I was also thinking about "inventing" some obscure new standard and telling people that we're going for certification.

More suggestions?:whip:

/Claes
 

SteelMaiden

Super Moderator
Trusted Information Resource
I usually just grab my auditing clipboard and start to "stalk" people. Actually, I do it to show them that there is no need to sweat an audit. but it scares them anyway.
 

RoxaneB

Change Agent and Data Storyteller
Super Moderator
In the Humour Thread, I believe I posted a "procedure" on what to do during an impending meteor crashing into Earth...you could make everyone go through formal training on it. Practice screams, mass panic, etc. :D

You could also state that your Management System is evolving to cover every aspect of the business and document processes like going to the washroom. Some where I once read where access to the bathroom would be governed by designated times and swipe card access. If you didn't go during your 15 minute window, you had to wait until your next designated time. Swipe card access also monitored bathroom usage frequency. (fyi, my organization actually has a work instruction on how to use the company credit card!!!..this April Fool's Day joke is my reality!)

How about setting up a meeting to review and revise the Quality Manual...book it for a week in...ummm...Malta.

Conduct an Internal Audit but give "findings" every time a 'shall' is met.

"Revise" a key document like your Quality Manual or even your Quality Policy using the Dialectizer . In an indepth investigation to see if the minutes from our Quality Review were truly be reviewed by the designated person, my boss used the Dialectizer to translate part of the minutes into Elmer Fudd speak....needless to say, the minutes were approved, showing us that something needed to be done.

Need coffee...hopefully I can think up some more stuff later...but I have no doubt the Puk's of Cove will be able to help you immensely, Claes! :biglaugh:
 

Mike S.

Happy to be Alive
Trusted Information Resource
Claes Gefvenberg said:
I was also thinking about "inventing" some obscure new standard and telling people that we're going for certification.


/Claes

You mean something like ISO-18454-2004 "Hygenic Requirements for Washrooms in Industrial and Commercial Buildings"? AKA ISO's bathroom requirements? Where they specify the minimum allowable number of toilets based on workforce size, focusing on "potty parity" for men and women? And the amount of water used per flush? Size of the stall walls? Etc. etc.
 

howste

Thaumaturge
Trusted Information Resource
I like the dialectizer idea. Maybe circulate a few documents for review in "redneck?"

Of course you could always just start enforcing the ISO 9001 requirement that everything must be clearly labeled, as in the Dilbert cartoon...
 

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SteelMaiden said:
I usually just grab my auditing clipboard and start to "stalk" people.
LMAO... Hey, you're good... :lmao:


RCBeyette said:
Need coffee...hopefully I can think up some more stuff later...but I have no doubt the Puk's of Cove will be able to help you immensely, Claes!
Crikey...:eek: If you're able to come up with all that before the coffee, I'm expecting great things from you once you've had one :agree:


RCBeyette said:
You mean something like ISO-18454-2004 "Hygenic Requirements for...
Yeah, something like that. I'm still looking for a good topic.

Thank's all, I knew I could rely on you. Keep the ideas coming. :agree1:

/Claes
 
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