You Know You Live In.... When...

[IEGeek - 2006]

*You live in Arizona when..*
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the
steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from th e hot water in the
toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture
lingerie ads.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
when you open your oven door.

*You Live in California when...*
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell
phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you h ow far something is, you tell them how
long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

*You Live in New York City when...*
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2... You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

*You Live in Maine when...*
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction.

*You Live in the Deep South when...*
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean,
MARY BETH, etc.

*You live in Colorado when...*
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2... You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops
at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4... The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

*You live in the Midwest when...*
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
different!"

*You live in Florida when....*
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people

[CarolX]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM CHICAGO, IF.....

· Your living room is called the "front room." (pronounced fronchroom)

· You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois, and you become irate at people who do.

· You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog and what does not!
You NEVER put Katchup on a hot dog!

· You eat your "fries" with Katchup ... not your "dog"

· You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"), and everything is pretty much 15 minutes away.

· You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "DesPlaines."

· Your school classes were canceled because of the cold weather. Your school classes were canceled because of the hot weather.

· You've switched from heat to air conditioning in the same day.

· Your grocery stores don't have sacks; they have bags.

· You end your sentences with prepositions: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I wanna go with," or "Come by and pick me up."

· Your idea of a great sandwich is when the meat is twice as big as the bun, it has everything on it, and a slice of dill pickle is on the side.

· You always carry jumper cables in your car.

· You drink "pop," not soda.

· You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different highways.

· You know the names of the interstates:
Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan, and the Edens, but you call them all "expressways."

· You refer to anything south of I-80 as "Southern Illinois"

· You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake."

· You know what the "cribs" are.

· You refer to Chicago as "The City."

· The "Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1985.

· No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown," you immediately assume they're talking about downtown Chicago.

· You know "the Loop" means Downtown.

· You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers!

· You're a SOX FAN and hate CUBS FANS

· You're a CUBS FAN "and don't give a ****!"

· You read "The Trib."

· You have been to "Boy's Town"

· You have eaten in "Greek Town"

· You have been to "Old Town"

· You have had a corn beef sandwich at Mannys

· You know how to pronounce "Devon" .... DEE-VON ... not Devin

· You drive to the North suburbs by taking "The Outer Drive" even though no such road exists.

· There's no view like the view when "drivin' on LSD" !

· When giving directions - You say ...
Go toward Wisconsin; Go South; Go West; Go towards the Lake!

· You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!

· You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.

· You know what "Italian Beef" is.

· The thought of it makes your mouth water
"Italian Beef - Italian Sausage - Combo"

· You know why they call Chicago "The Windy City."
and it has nothing to do with the weather !

· You understand what "lake-effect" means.

· You know that the Chicago Campus of the University of Illinois was at one time located on Navy Pier --- and it was called by the students "Harvard on the Rocks"

· You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at. (Do note the preposition.)

· You have seen the Chicago River turn "green" on St Patrick's Day

· You know the Chicago River flows away from the Lake -- not into it !

· You ride the "L."

· You ride the "subway"

· You know the difference between the "Red Line" and the "Brown Line"

· You can distinguish among the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, & 815.

· You respond to the question "Where are you from with a "side." Example: "WESS SIDE," "SOUT SIDE," or "NORT SIDE."

· You wear gym shoes, not sneakers.

· And, the CHICAGO CLASSIC: At some time in your life in the winter, you shoveled out your car and used your furniture to guard your parking spot. It is a known fact that the Mayor of Chicago supports this concept !

[Jim Wynne]

In Reply to Parent Post by CarolX

The "Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1985.

I'm from Chicago, and I know that Super Bowl XX was played on January 26, 1986.

[Icy Mountain]

In Reply to Parent Post by CarolX

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM CHICAGO, IF.....

I lived there on and off from '83 through '86, so I know that Dick Daley is the mayor and does not refer to frequency of sexual activity.

[Rob Nix]

You know you're from Michigan when...

1.You've never met any celebrities.

2."Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.

3.At least 1 member of your family disowns you the week of the Michigan/Michigan State game.

4.Half the change in your pocket is Canadian.....eh!

5.You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right, even in rain or snow.

6.Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange barrel.

7.You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.

8.It's easy to get VERNORS Ginger Ale, Sanders Hot Fudge sauce, AND Faygo Pop.

9.You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."

10.You've had to switch on the "heat" and the "A/C" in the same day.

11.You bake with SODA and drink a POP.

12.The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it a documentary.

13.Your little league game was snowed out.

14.The word "thumb" has geographical, rather than anatomical significance.

15.You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.

16. Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.

17.On weekends you invariably go “up north”.

18.When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."

19.You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't that far from ****.

20.Your year has 2 seasons: Winter and Construction.

21.Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.

22.The pot holes are the size of small cars.

23.Owning a Japanese car used to be a hangin' offense in your hometown.

24.You believe that "down south" means Toledo.

25. November 15 (the start of deer season) is a state holiday.

[Al Rosen]

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can�t find Wisconsin on a map.

Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

The subway makes sense.

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

You consider Westchester "upstate".

You think Central Park is "nature."

You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.

You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.

You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.

You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.

Your closet is filled with black clothes.

You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you.

You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.

You take fashion seriously.

Being truly alone makes you nervous.

You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."

America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.

You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.

Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

You don't notice sirens anymore.

You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.

Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.

You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

Your door has more than three locks.

Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.

You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.

There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown.

When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.

You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.

You know what a bodega is.

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas

Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.

[Icy Mountain]

In Reply to Parent Post by Rob Nix

You know you're from Michigan when...

I vacation there every year so....
You know that "Say ya to the UP, eh!" is a vacation travel come on.
You know that a uper (pronounced "yooper") doesn't live on the "hand" part.
"Nothern Michigan" and "Upper Michigan" mean two different things.

[jmp4429]

In Reply to Parent Post by Icy Mountain

I vacation there every year so....
You know that "Say ya to the UP, eh!" is a vacation travel come on.
You know that a uper (pronounced "yooper") doesn't live on the "hand" part.
"Nothern Michigan" and "Upper Michigan" mean two different things.

But do you know what a fudgie, a pasty, and a sheenie are?

My mother always disowns me on the day of the Michigan vs. State game

Regarding the Vernors, when my grandparents were looking to retire and move south, they selected Tennessee because Vernors was available at Kroger.

Oh, and Escanaba in da Moonlight might not be that funny when you're watching it, but it's hilarious to quote later!!!