Very short jokes?

[samer]

Those jokes were presented by Nadinb ............thanks

Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
**********

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.

**********

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

**********
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"

**********

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

**********

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

**********

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE"
**********

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
**********

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: " Billionaire"

**********

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. hahahahaha

**********

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.

any one can add more?

[Keith Childers]

Here is one of the shortest jokes I know.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

[Cari Spears]

I love this one from Rob Nix's signature:

A termite walks into a bar and asks "Where's the bar tender?".

[Colin]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.


Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

[aa8vs]

Dusty Underwear?

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!"

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the heck is this??" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out.

"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"

She replied with a snicker...

"It's not talcum powder.......


It's 'Miracle Grow'."

[Colin]

Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES".. OK, BYE". She turns to her lover and says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

[Martijn]

did you hear about the magic tractor?









drove down the road and turned into a field...

[DDaenen1]

2 blondes are sitting in the car waiting at a red traffic light. It turns green and one says to the other "it's green" on which the other one replies "a frog!"