Corrective Action and Root Cause - The Humourous Boeing Repair Responses

[Marc]

Boeing Humor
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Some supposedly true AFTO Form 781 maintenance entries
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Discrepancy: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Corrective Action: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Discrepancy: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Corrective Action: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "#1,#3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Discrepancy: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Discrepancy: "Something loose in cockpit."
Corrective Action: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Discrepancy: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Corrective Action: "Evidence removed."

Discrepancy: "Number three engine missing."
Corrective Action: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Discrepancy: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Corrective Action: "Volume set to more believable level."

Discrepancy: Dead bugs on windshield.
Corrective Action: Live bugs on order.

Discrepancy: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Corrective Action: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Discrepancy: IFF inoperative.
Corrective Action: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Discrepancy: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Corrective Action: That's what they're there for.

[Randy]

This stuff is hilarious and true.

I come from aviation - 17 years and 4000+ hours in helicopters and I saw this everyday as a QC/Technical Inspector.

I even saw "VHF radio does not rcv/trnsmt in OFF position" (written by Army Captain).

I have even seen some of this kind of stuff written into civilian log books.

Great stuff.

[Marc]

You're welcome to add any your know of. I like these things - make me laff like h--l - and would like to see some more examples!

[Roger Eastin]

Yeah, I'll think about those corrective actions the next time I get on a Boeing airplane!! Maybe, the title for this post should be, "Why airplanes are considered one-shot devices"!

[Marc]

Ah, yes! This is it!

Not quite as good, but I've seen examples where our German colleagues had raised corrective action requests but had struggled a bit with the language. The best one being where the Engineer wanted to introduce a screw with a sharp tapered lead-in,commonly called a dog head....

"In order to improve we request to have a screw with a dog"