Hell explained....

[palmer]

HELL EXPLAINED
> BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
>
>
>
> The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona
> chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
>
>
>
> The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it
> with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
> the
> pleasure of enjoying it as well :
>
>
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs heat)?
>
>
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
> cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
>
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
> which
> they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume
> that
> once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are
> leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
> different
> religions that exist in the world today.
>
>
>
> Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
> religions and
> since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
> all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
> expect
> the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
> rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
> order
> for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
> Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
>
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
>
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
> all
> Hell breaks loose.
>
>
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>
>
> So which is it?
>
>
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
> that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take
> into
> account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
> true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
> over.
> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
> follows
> that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.....
> ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being
> which
> explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
>
>
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
>
>
>
>

[Randy]

Ok, I like this one and will pass it along

[Jim Wynne]

In Reply to Parent Post by palmer

HELL EXPLAINED
> BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
>
>
>
> The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona
> chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
>
>
>
> The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it
> with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
> the
> pleasure of enjoying it as well :
>
>
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs heat)?
>
>
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
> cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
>
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
> which
> they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume
> that
> once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are
> leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
> different
> religions that exist in the world today.
>
>
>
> Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
> religions and
> since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
> all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
> expect
> the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
> rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
> order
> for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
> Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
>
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
>
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
> all
> Hell breaks loose.
>
>
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>
>
> So which is it?
>
>
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
> that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take
> into
> account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
> true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
> over.
> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
> follows
> that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.....
> ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being
> which
> explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
>
>
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
>
>
>
>

This is funny, but it's been circulating for years, and has been attributed to practically every college and university in existence. Here are some samples from the interwebz:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.

The following is an actual question given on a University chemistry final exam.

Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department, University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?" In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam paper contained the question: "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

According to some posts on the net, the following is an alleged question given on University of Liverpool chemistry finals.

The following is an actual question given on a McGill University chemistry mid-term Exam paper

Also, the name of the girl changes from version to version, as does the ending of the story, as in this example:

If we accept the postulate given me by Miss Theresa Banyan during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded with her, then #2 cannot be true, so Hell is exothermic.

[amanbhai]

I lol and shared this will my colleagues with chemistry background.

[Ka Pilo]

In Reply to Parent Post by palmer

...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

I'm curious if an atheist women do scream "Oh my God" at the critical moment...

[Ka Pilo]

In Reply to Parent Post by Jim Wynne

This is funny, but it's been circulating for years, and has been attributed to practically every college and university in existence. Here are some samples from the interwebz:

Also, the name of the girl changes from version to version, as does the ending of the story, as in this example:

Jim is right. The origin summarizes @ http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

It's not actually written by a student, but by a scientist, and not affiliated with any particular university.

[Dr. L. Ramakrishnan]

Hi

I am reminded of what I read almost 35 years ago in the book "A random walk in Science" published by the Physical Society, London. The short essay says that HELL is Cooler than the Heaven because in the HELL, brimstone is boiling and the boiling temperature of brimstone (I have forgotten the number) is less than the temperature of heaven calculated based on the brightness of Sun (Stephen's Law; blackbody radiation).

Ramakrishnan