The Lamest Nigerian Scam Email Ever

See the attachment, which is the worst Nigerian scam letter ever. It's written in the name of Ben Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve Board, only now it seems he's both chairman of the Fed and somehow affiliated with Bank of America, and wants to deposit a lot of money in my bank account.

The only more disturbing thing than the fact that these people think we're a nation of greedy idiots is the idea that, given the success of such things, they might be right.

I've heard the apparent stupidity and ignorance of the letters (misspellings, undisguised sender's email, etc.) actually attracts some wise guys who think they can turn the tables on the "Nigerians" [lately some of my Nigerian letters are coming through eastern Europe ISPs] in much the same way wise guys used to think they could get into chain letter scams and get out before the pyramids collapsed.

After all, Ponzi schemes work because early entrants get big returns so they will entice others into the scam.

Of course, there can be no such thing in Nigerian letter scams, which have been around since long before I began in the investment banking business. I recall some relatively sophisticated invesors who got bamboozled by scammers purporting to need some place to "park" millions, billions, and zillions of American dollars controlled by Ferdinand Marcos while he was fighting off corruption charges in the Philippines. Same thing with Idi Amin in Uganda. The very notoriety of Marcos and Amin attracted the same sort of thrill seeker as the fools who gamble with mob-connected bookies.

The Irish lotteries were very big scams in the 50's and 60's - folks would get letters advising they had won the Irish lottery (fancy letterhead, stamps from Ireland, etc.) and requesting prepayment of taxes and currency conversion fees. They must have found victims or they wouldn't have lasted so long. The letters and postage were a big expense for the scammers compared to practically free email for today's scammers.

As silly as the Nigerian letters and lottery scams may be, there is one current scam that is really nefarious and insidious and continues to collect victims every day - The Secret Shopper/cashier check scam. The victim receives an apparent certified check or cashier's check for a large sum, told to deposit it, then (in the future) will purchase a list of specified goods from specific stores and complete a survey about the service and quality of the goods. Upon completion of survey, he will get more money for future purchases and be allowed to keep the goods he purchases. First transaction, however, the victim is told to cash the check and then go to Western Union or some other similar service to wire 90% of the sum of the cashier check to a "subsidiary agent" who will be testing the receiving end of the Western Union system. The 10% holdback will be the Secret Shopper's seed money for subsequent transactions. Once the survey is completed by the "subsidiary agent," the victim will receive his instructions on what to buy and where. That point never comes, of course.

The scam:
The original cashier's check is a forgery, but by the time the forgery is detected by the banking system and the victim's bank account charged back, the scammers are gone and the victim is out 90% of the cashier's check amount PLUS penalty fees imposed by his own bank.

My eldest daughter, who is a bank executive, says her small bank is averaging one victim a month trying to deposit such bogus checks, but her tellers are alerted when large cashier's checks are deposited by clients with no previous history of large deposits and the bank client is ushered to an officer who explains the scam. My daughter says she is unaware the FBI has ever caught and successfully prosecuted such a scammer, despite hundreds of reports from banks like hers.

People know that they cannot fool everybody all the time, but they also well know that they can fool somebody at some time and seems it has been working for them. Try as much, but you will still see such scam mails and few somebody a victim ...
Please everyone, just select and delete such scam mails and alert others whom you know.

The text of the pdf:

scam email said:

Subject: PAYMENT NOTIFICATION FROM BANK OF AMERICA
From: "MR. BEN S. BERNANKE"<[email protected]>
Date: Wed, 4 Aug 2010 12:33:35 -1200

BANK FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD DEAR VALUED CUSTOMER:

THIS IS TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE LUCKY THAT, YOUR PAYMENT FILE WAS FIRST TO ATTEND IN TODAY MEETING, AND THE MEETING IS WELL ALL ABOUT THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND AND WE ARE GOING TO COMMENCE FULLY TO CREDIT YOUR PAYMENT AND WE HAVE TODAY 4TH DAY OF AUGUST 2010 RECEIVED A PAYMENT CREDIT INSTRUCTION FROM THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIAN TO CREDIT YOUR ACCOUNT WITH YOUR FULL INHERITANCE FUND OF US$10 MILLION DOLLARS FROM THE NIGERIAN RESERVE ACCOUNT WITH OUR BANK, BANK OF AMERICA. HOWEVER, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PROVIDE THE FOLLOWINGS DATAS BELOW:

(1). YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS.
(2). YOUR BANK NAME AND ADDRESS.
(3). YOUR CONFIDENTIAL CELL NUMBER.
(4). YOUR ACCOUNT NAME.
(5). ACCOUNT NUMBER.
(6). YOUR SWIFT CODE NUMBER.
(7). ROUTING NUMBER
(8). YOUR OCCUPATION.
(8). SEX PLEASE

DO PROVIDE THE ABOVE INFORMATION ACCURATELY, BECAUSE THIS OFFICE CANNOT AFFORD TO BE HELD LIABLE FOR ANY WRONG TRANSFER OF FUNDS OR LIABILITY OF FUNDS CREDITED INTO A GHOST ACCOUNT.

THANKS FOR BANKING WITH BANK OF AMERICA, WHILE WE LOOK FORWARD TO GIVE YOU THE BEST OF OUR SERVICE.

YOURS SENCERELY,

MR. BEN S. BERNANKE CHAIRMAN FEDERAL RESERVE BANK.

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Jim Wynne said:

they might be right.

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Someone so dumb that would fall for something like this should be prohibited from having a bank account, email account and procreate.

Interesting to note that, after attempting to screw you, they do it again:

SEX PLEASE

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Sidney Vianna said:

Someone so dumb that would fall for something like this should be prohibited from having a bank account, email account and procreate.

Interesting to note that, after attempting to screw you, they do it again:

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SEX PLEASE

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Stijloor.

What if this email goes to Ben Bernanke himself ?

Presumably, if these scams weren't profitable, they'd die out.

They haven't. Which tells us something... (and no, it isn't 'sex please')

Ajit Basrur said:

What if this email goes to Ben Bernanke himself ?

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If Ben got one, he'd probably laugh.

Sidney Vianna said:

Someone so dumb that would fall for something like this should be prohibited from having a bank account, email account and procreate.<SNIP>

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Dumb enough to fall for it, they lose their bank account (ID theft) and, without money, little chance to procreate - sort of a self-fulfilling circle. They probably keep the email account to send all those goofy jokes and glurges which crowd OUR mailboxes!

And I was wondering what's holding up my millions... Here's one I received today!

Subject: ***SPAM*** THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR FUNDS.
From: "Mohammed Abubakar" <[email protected]>
Date: Sun, August 15, 2010 22:18
Priority: Normal
Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000
Options: View Full Header | View Printable Version | Download this as a file




Attn: ,

Sometimes, I do wonder if you are really, really with your senses. How Could you
keep trusting people and at the end you will loose your hard Earned money, or are
you being deceived by their big names? They Impersonate on many offices, claiming to
be
Governors, Directors/Chairmen of one Office or the other. Their game plan is only
just to extort your hard Earned money. Now, the question is how long you will
continue to be Deceived? Sometimes, they will issue you fake check, introduce you to
fake
Diplomatic delivery, un-existing on-line banking and they will also fake wire
transfer of Your fund with Payment Stop Order and even send you fake atm cars etc.

Anyway, by the virtue of my position I have been following this Transaction from
inception and all your efforts towards realizing the Fund. More often than not, I
sit down and laugh at your ignorance and That of those who claim they are
assisting you, it is very unfortunate That at the end you loose. Although, I don't
blame you because you are Not here in Nigeria to witness the processing of your
payment in Nigeria.The problem you are having is that you been told the whole truth
About this transaction and it is because of this truth they decided to Be extorting
your money. The most annoying part is even fraudsters Have really taken advantage of
this opportunity to enrich them selves At your expense. Those you feel are assisting
or working for you are Your main problems. I know the truth surrounding this payment
and I am The only person who will deliver you from this long suffering if you will
abide by my advice.

I also know that recently you have been dealing with people claiming to be the EFCC.
They claim that they are helping you and you forward all the fraudulent e-mails you
receive to them. At the end they do nothing about the fraudsters. Soon they will ask
you to pay money to receive a compensation of $150,000. Do not pay any money to them
because they are only interested in your hard earned money and you will never
receive any compensation in return, they will always keep coming back to ask for
more money.

Please I beseech you to stop pursuit of shadows and being Deceived.Feel free to
contact me immediately you receive this mail so that I can Explain to you the
modus-operandi guiding the release of your Payment. Do not panic, be rest assured
that this arrangement will be Guided by your Embassy here in Nigeria.

N/B: You are urgently requested to forward your International Passport Copy, your
direct contact information or Driver's License, the name of your bank and bank
information For submission to the Nigerian Police Force for issuance of Police
clearance report which is the hindrance for your non recieval of your fund and will
be signed and Endorse by your Embassy here in Nigeria.

Contact me upon the receipt of this mail if you wish to receive your fund and stop
wasting your hard earn money.

Get back to me through this email Address


Thanks and remain blessed.

Yours faithfully,

Mohammed Abubakar
Director Telex/Foreign Operation (OB).

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