20 Ways To Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stallmate

[Baldrick]

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "****, this water's cold."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh ****! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.
15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
16. Say, "****, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".

 

[HSSE Auditor]

Here are a couple of new ones.
1. Have a "wide stance".
2. Toe tapping

 

[amanbhai]

However, HSSE Auditor nice foot note that all I can say.
No comments on Bathroom stallmate.

 

[chaosweary]

Here are a couple of new ones.
1. Have a "wide stance".
2. Toe tapping

and he still won't leave office...

 

[Randy]

Baldrick, you are a sick and perverted Brit and I almost pooped my knickers laughing. It took me 10 minutes to read through the list while wiping laugh tears and trying to see the screen.

You have got to come over here and do a Cove meeting thing.

 

[Marc]

Remember folks, the rule is no politics. Please.

 

[wmarhel]

I almost pooped my knickers laughing.

Hey Randy, is that something you wear on the weekends when you want to get in touch with your feminine side? :mg:

Wayne

 

[Jim Wynne]

As long as we're in the men's room, a few old ones:

A man in a public washroom stall finishes his business and finds that the paper dispenser is empty. Knowing that the stall next to his is occupied, he taps gently on the divider and says, "Pardon me, but is there any paper on that side?" His neighbor checks and finds none. "No, sorry, there isn't," he replies. There follows a pregnant pause while the first man considers his options. He then taps on the divider again, and asks, "Well, do you have two fives for a ten?


A man walks into the washroom at work and finds a coworker standing before a toilet, stall door open, staring down into the bowl. Not wishing to disturb the man, who seems to be deep in thought, he hangs back and watches for a moment. Finally the man reaches into his pocket, takes out a piece of paper money and drops it in the toilet. The man watching this can no longer remain quiet and says, "Hey, George, did you just put a $10 bill in the toilet?" George, somewhat startled, turns and says "Yes, I did. You don't think I'm going to stick my hand in there for just a quarter, do you?"