Advice on dealing with difficult Colleagues

pkost

Trusted Information Resource
#1
Part of this post is a rant, out of shear frustration and part looking for advice.

The problem is a colleague who is never wrong (I'm sure the type is common in all businesses). He can be perfectly reasonable most of the time, but if it is suggested that he has got something wrong or maybe misunderstood something then he launches into a tirade. There is no reasoning and it doesn't matter how softly you approach the issue.

The most common arguments are that I am being condescending and that it is not my area so not my concern. In the end you just have to back away and things aren't fixed. If it happens in a private meeting fine, it's frustrating but when it happens in the middle of the office it's just unprofessional.

Is it my area? frequently no, but when I get dragged into something because another manager is away does that mean I should just look at what I'm doing and ignore things I see? If it's critical I'll fix it, but anything else I'll just bring it to the attention of the person responsible.

Am I condescending? I suppose some people would take it that way, I'm not sure how to stop it. My role and qualifications by their nature lead people to believe I'm intelligent, but it's not like I'm better than anyone else.
 
Elsmar Forum Sponsor

Steve Prevette

Deming Disciple
Staff member
Super Moderator
#2
Consider reading the book "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team".

Also sounds like your person is an "ISTJ" - it may help to read up about their behaviors (google ISTJ) and that may help in dealing with them.

I know over the years I have probably come across to some like your person. The best thing to do when approaching the person is to come across non-judgemental and ask open ended questions to gain their trust.
 

Al Rosen

Staff member
Super Moderator
#3
Part of this post is a rant, out of shear frustration and part looking for advice.

The problem is a colleague who is never wrong (I'm sure the type is common in all businesses). He can be perfectly reasonable most of the time, but if it is suggested that he has got something wrong or maybe misunderstood something then he launches into a tirade. There is no reasoning and it doesn't matter how softly you approach the issue.

The most common arguments are that I am being condescending and that it is not my area so not my concern. In the end you just have to back away and things aren't fixed. If it happens in a private meeting fine, it's frustrating but when it happens in the middle of the office it's just unprofessional.

Is it my area? frequently no, but when I get dragged into something because another manager is away does that mean I should just look at what I'm doing and ignore things I see? If it's critical I'll fix it, but anything else I'll just bring it to the attention of the person responsible.

Am I condescending? I suppose some people would take it that way, I'm not sure how to stop it. My role and qualifications by their nature lead people to believe I'm intelligent, but it's not like I'm better than anyone else.
You have no control of others, but you do have control of yourself. If you recognize that others may see you as condescending, then maybe there is something that you can do to modify that behavior.
 
T

tamale

#5
I would suggest you try http://syque.com

This is a great website in wich you will find the necessary tools for dealing with people in group situations.

You will also find ways of dealing with issues that you yourself may be guilty of! :notme:

Remember in all criticism ther is a basis of truth!

Tamale
 
M

Matt_B

#6
I would suggest avoiding telling him when he is wrong/ mistaken. Explain the facts and let him draw the conclusions. Or ask questions that will lead him to the mistake.
 

pkost

Trusted Information Resource
#7
I endeavor to not sound condescending, arrogant or any similar traits although I am certain there are times when I do, I am definitely quick to make a sarcastic comment. Certainly I should reduce these to a minimum and adjust my attitude to not offend.

In part the issue with this person is that their default response is that I am condescending and that it isn't my area/concern/responsibility. The response is with the sole purpose of preventing any further discussion, regardless of whether it is condescending or not
 

Randy

Super Moderator
#8
Louisville Sluggers have worked for me in the past;)

Of course if you really believe that I have a Bridge in New York I could sell ya.
 
M

mguilbert

#9
I endeavor to not sound condescending, arrogant or any similar traits although I am certain there are times when I do, I am definitely quick to make a sarcastic comment. Certainly I should reduce these to a minimum and adjust my attitude to not offend.

In part the issue with this person is that their default response is that I am condescending and that it isn't my area/concern/responsibility. The response is with the sole purpose of preventing any further discussion, regardless of whether it is condescending or not
As far as the condescending accusations. Obviously change how you responsed. Try replying with kind words or praise. That usually deflects unwarranted attacks and calms the situation.

For the "not your area/concern/responsibility" part. Try in a calm manner that the viability and success of this business is all of our responsiblities. And if there is something better that can be done in my area(s) of responsibility that would better acheive our companies goals I hope that others would let me know.
 
T

tamale

#10
Reduce sarcasm !!! :truce: hey, it won't work.

Sarcasm is a 0 tolerance caracter trait in the workplace. It tanslates into a lack of respect and civility.

Eliminate that one and 95% of your issues will be solved.

I admit it's not an easy one to solve but the benefits in your relationships will be well worth the efforts.

Good luck!!

Tamale
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
W 17025 and NIST handbook relationship (need advice) ISO 17025 related Discussions 8
W First time being audited (ISO 9001), asking for advice ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 9
S Advice on how to reduce overhead of handling non-conforming material Nonconformance and Corrective Action 7
K "World Class Product" based QM. I need advice. Quality Management System (QMS) Manuals 14
P IDEs and Clinical Investigators - Advice About Records? Other US Medical Device Regulations 3
M Experience and advice with certifications categories Training - Internal, External, Online and Distance Learning 3
S Need advice for schooling Quality Manager and Management Related Issues 5
M Advice needed for SEH Compliance Software and ISNETWord Compatabiliy Occupational Health & Safety Management Standards 2
R Advice needed: Shall I report my not complying company to NB / competent Authority (Europe) EU Medical Device Regulations 6
D Advice on capturing electronic signatures ISO 13485:2016 - Medical Device Quality Management Systems 8
E 13485:2016, Sections 4.1.6, 7.5.6 and 7.6 - Validation of Software - Need some Advice please ISO 13485:2016 - Medical Device Quality Management Systems 3
M Clinical Development Plan - Advice Requested EU Medical Device Regulations 11
S HIPAA-compliant monitoring software (advice needed) Hospitals, Clinics & other Health Care Providers 1
N Looking to Impress - New Job - Advice, Thoughts, Comments Welcome Career and Occupation Discussions 23
J Masters Degree - Advice about a decision I"m going to be making Career and Occupation Discussions 9
S California Cleaning Product Right to Know Act - Product Label advice needed Miscellaneous Environmental Standards and EMS Related Discussions 1
M Seeking advice regarding use of off-the-shelf (OTS) batteries Other Medical Device and Orthopedic Related Topics 4
S Selling Clinical Practice Advice Other US Medical Device Regulations 7
R Plea for advice on transitioning between Notified Bodies (label updates) Medical Device and FDA Regulations and Standards News 1
T Advice needed - Environmental MS - unwritten but customer requests policy document ISO 14001:2015 Specific Discussions 5
M Process Creation Advice Needed Design and Development of Products and Processes 3
classical_quality AS9100 Surveillance Audit - advice on drafting strong responses AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 11
A Single use non-sterile syringe used in the oral cavity - Laboratory test advice US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) 7
O ISO 9001 new certification advice request - Develop a QMS from scratch ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 9
D ISO 9001:2015 Internal Audit Training Advice Internal Auditing 10
kmrcial Any advice for a young quality professional in the aerospace industry? Career and Occupation Discussions 10
R Pls help --- Need expert advice on Video Measurement Measurement Uncertainty (MU) 0
C Advice on becoming a AS9100 Auditor - Need to audit organizations that are Design Responsible AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 12
R Customer supplied material - risk and policy advice needed Quality Manager and Management Related Issues 11
D FDA Pre-Submission Meeting Advice US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) 0
qualprod Effective Auditing advice needed ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 16
T Unique Device Identifier Advice Other US Medical Device Regulations 1
M Medical Device News Health Canada Update - 05-09-18 - Pilot Device Advice Canada Medical Device Regulations 0
D AS9100 Document Management (Advice Needed) AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 4
T Establishing -F- datum - need advice Inspection, Prints (Drawings), Testing, Sampling and Related Topics 2
C First Aid Kit Compliance advice - Registered assembler with the MHRA EU Medical Device Regulations 1
A Looking to certify to ISO 9001 - Any advice? ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 4
Q Advice on selecting an ISO 9001:2015 Lead Auditor Certification Course ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 22
H Looking for advice, input, tips on taking the AATT AS9101F Test AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 1
S Nadcap HT Auditor Advisory 17-003 Advice needed AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 0
J New position and AS9100 audit is 1 month away- need advice AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 8
P Single Use Disposable Dental Syringe - CE Marking Advice EU Medical Device Regulations 4
Z ISO 9001:2015 Internal Audit Template/Form Advice Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 4
V Looking for advice on Pooled Standard Deviation between Minitab and MS Excel Statistical Analysis Tools, Techniques and SPC 1
rob73 Advice/recommendations for equipment to measure a soft pvc tube - Optical Measuring? General Measurement Device and Calibration Topics 4
S Suggestions or advice on complying with ISO 13485:2016 ISO 13485:2016 - Medical Device Quality Management Systems 3
5 Advice for a new EMS at a small, office-based company ISO 14001:2015 Specific Discussions 3
D Need advice in streamlining antiquated 21 CFR 820 compliant QMS Quality Manager and Management Related Issues 2
M Laser Etching Advice for Permanent Device Marking Manufacturing and Related Processes 5
R Advice on 3D Printer for Jigs and Fixtures Manufacturing and Related Processes 8

Similar threads

Top Bottom