Am I overreacting? Or is this woefully unprofessional?

db · Oct 4, 2005

Carl Keller said:

Shoot for $50 (US), I will register any one to BS 9000, without any paperwork, whatsoever!

edited for grammer

BruisedOrange · Oct 4, 2005

I'm all over it, My Fellow Quality Management System Professionals.

The auditor responded late on Friday afternoon with....

"Fine, then. I will see if I can get someone to help me and get back with you."

As of 10:00 this morning (Tuesday, no less) I'd heard nothing more from this person.

I called his cell phone.

He assured me that he had it ALL under control NOW and that we're all set for Thurs/Fri as *I* proposed....*I* being me, the person waiting for this audit.

No, sir.

*I* have never proposed an audit date, agenda or number of days/auditors in all this time. All dates, as you see in my 'timeline' have come from him. Never, ever me.

Pulling all tact, professionalism and kindness out of every possible tooth, bone and crevice in my body I thanked him for "getting back with me" as my way of saying that it was nice of him to let me know one way or the other as he had last promised me he would do....not mentioning that he didn't do that at all - - I had to chase him down three days later to get the straight scoop after all.

:biglaugh:

And so it goes, we're supposedly on again for the 6th and 7th.

If the man has read every word I've said here, no matter. I ain't skeered. Between him and me, I think I've got the least worries, frankly.

I'm coo. I'm coo.

I love you people - - - because you make me laugh instead of sitting here alone pulling my hair out, because you're top notch professionals with answers and direction that I can actually use, and because you're not afraid to remind anyone that perhaps - just MAYBE - the problem might have just typed up the post!

Ahhh. Thanks again. We'll see what happens this Friday evening, now won't we? Let me tell you for sure - when these auditors leave on Friday evening, I'm coming HERE first.

Don Palmer · Oct 4, 2005

Keep us posted.

BruisedOrange said:

Be sure you do. We all learn from each other. Thanks for sharing, I hope your registration audit goes well for you. :agree1:

Wes Bucey · Oct 4, 2005

Muleskinner said:

I think it would be interesting if the auditor in question recognizes himself here and also posts. That might be too much to hope for.

Don Palmer · Oct 4, 2005

Wes Bucey said:

Yes, agreed! It would be interesting if the auditor in question recognizes himself here and offers the rest of the story (as Paul Harvey would say). Too much to hope for, well there's nothing wrong with hoping against hope once in a while.

BruisedOrange · Oct 6, 2005

Ten minutes remaining...indeed, "Tick tock, Clarice"!

Just so you know - - - all of you who've posted about hoping against hope....

My NAME is Hope.

Therefore, there is ALWAYS Hope. Trust me.

bmccabe - 2006 · Oct 6, 2005

Let him schedule the audit whenever he likes, then

don’t show up. But, send him an e-mail with the minutes, as if you attended. Repeat as required, closing fictitious observations as you go. A few months from now, he will have forgotten all about whether or not you were there, and you can provide records :evidence:

that show you were – Leaving him as he was and is now - Holding the :mg: bag.

Alternately, you can start answering your phone: “This is Mr. X’s personal assistant. How may I better serve him :bonk:

?”

Incompetence does not go unrewarded.

BruisedOrange · Oct 6, 2005

Registration Audit Halftime Report

Let me just say thank you all for coming, I hope you've enjoyed your tour of my Mental Problems, and I trust that you all observed the rules and declined taking any flash photographs while inside the Museum of Obsessive Compulsiveness.

Today's 'wrap' meeting reflected only opportunities for improvement, all of which were roughly as applicable and helpful to our quality management system as a fashion tip or hairstyle recommendation. One of the OFI was that in our Mgmt Rvw procedure, we state that the quarterly meeting must be attended by, at a minimum, 2/3 of top management. This is to accommodate members of top management who are frequently out of the country but still allow the meetings to take place. The OFI was to take that out, require all of top management so that our system reflects serious management committment.

To this, I cleared my throat. That was the alpha and the omega of my response to that little suggestion. You'd have been proud of me because what I wanted to do included jumping up on the conference room table and singing 'Another One Bites the Dust' karaoke style.

I'd have used my Sharpie as a microphone.

So far, no majors, no minors, but lots of helpful household tips!

I love you (all), man. And women. Ahem....Fellow Quality Professionals. Yeah - I said it.

I'm out of here for the night. Where's my liter of orange Vodka!??!

:thanx:

BruisedOrange · Oct 7, 2005

Yeah Baby, She's Got It

0 Major

0 Minor

8 Opportunities for Improvement

The entire management staff and all department heads are out taking a plant tour right now, spreading the good word throughout the building and accepting congratulations from everyone for all of MY hard work.

Me? I think I'm going to try to get an interview at White Castle.

JRKH · Oct 7, 2005

Congrats

BruisedOrange said:

May I be the first to offer my congrats on a job well done. Take a hot hot bath with candlelight and wine,,,, or ,,,, Head for the nearest night spot and see how long it takes to get thrown out. ...... :biglaugh:

By the way, My wife (a retired psych nurse) loved your ref to the mental tour and the museum of OCD. Thanks for the laugh.

James

Am I overreacting? Or is this woefully unprofessional?

db

BruisedOrange

Don Palmer

Wes Bucey

Prophet of Profit

Don Palmer

BruisedOrange

bmccabe - 2006

BruisedOrange

BruisedOrange

JRKH

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