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Attitudes and Intimidation in Elsmar Cove forum Posts

Re: Perception, not intention is the root of harassment

I think it is critical for all members to understand that intimidation, just like harassment is a perception issue; NOT an intention by the alleged “offender”. I might not intend to post an attack, but IF the receiver and other readers perceive it as such, a problem exists.
I will admit that I have been guilty of this from both sides of the issue:

I am passionate about some issues. If you are a 3rd party auditor, you would probably be offended by one of my rants regarding measuring tapes. On the other hand, I have had some of my passionately held views opposed by other Covers and, after getting over the initial defensiveness, had to admit that I was wrong (or at least could improve).

Many of the other forums I use (especially the computer hardware/software info boards) have elite corps that will harp at newbies unmercifully or trolls that come through and post garbage just to get the guys with 2,000 posts all fired up. Most of that gets filtered out here at the Cove so I think that it is important to start with the perception that most Cove posts (especially from those with high post counts, high thanks counts, and a big long karma bar) are not an attack but the poster's view of the facts.
Re: Perception, not intention is the root of harassment

I agree with what you say Sidney, not least that about perception, and about the variety of people that make up communities. Given courtesy, goodwill and good manners from all, communities work. If these are unfortunately lacking at times, there's a need for some reminders and if necessary, some actions or sanctions. As Marc says, words written in a forum stay 'out there' - unlike a temporary blow-up in person, where only those present heard what was said...
"The Internet Never Forgets."
I recall Jane and I going round and round about resume (or curriculum vitae) formats and information. Although there were some tense moments, in the end, I believe everyone, including me (courtesy lessons and how to use italics), learned something new. Some of the most valuable lessons are learned when two knowledgeable people are expressing differences in opinion, perception, experience, etc. Let us all ponder the difference between someone questioning your knowledge, wisdom and/or opinion (i.e. a challenge) and someone holding you at gunpoint and demanding that you hold their beliefs (i.e. an attack).


I am now just beginning my second year of regular soaking up of the GREAT expanse of information in the Cove. I wish I had found the site long ago.

This is the first time I have come across the "Attitudes and Intimidation" issue and am absolutely flabergasted by it.

To Marc, all Moderators and those who Post and Contribute, please don't be offended by those who for whatever reason, feel intimidated by what they PERCEIVE to be criticism (or whatever they wish to call it).

The subjects you are addressing for the most part do not have single, simple answers. I do not necessarily agree with some portions of the answers I see in the forum and by the same token I certainly don't expect everyone reading any of my comments to agree with me.
That prospect is actually quite scary.

What I have often found in the Cove is a slightly different perspective to my approach to a subject and that to me is magic. It broadens my outlook.

Consider the ISO series of standards. They have been developed as single entities to apply consistently in well over 100 countries in the world and they do that extremely well. Anyone who believes that with all the different cultures and approaches involved there is one single set of "correct" answers, is living in "La-La" land.

Please keep up the excellent work, you don't have to appologize to anyone!


what would be considered as harrassment

if i were to cite some of the approaches or replies which maybe considered as harrassment, some might be: (please bare in mind that in real life, there are no full time villains like in cartoons who pride themselves with their evil schemes and dance to the tunes of their mischief, furthermore, most harmful deeds are conducted with good intentions)

1. An unsolicited apparent attack or condemnation of one of the poster's personality, qualifications, or experience for voicing out his opinion or different point of view.

2. Mockery or ridicule of a specific person or group's thoughts and beliefs.

3. Commanding or patronizing other posters into thinking that they possess some authority which they do not really have.

those are just some cases off the top of my head, i do realize that one person's simple innocent statement such as "where do you come with such topics? they all seem too controversial and apparently shallow, which brings me to doubt whatever qualififcations or experience you claim to hold"
which ofcourse can be looked at from both sides, depending on how it's presented, and your character, if you're inclined to symphathise with the one who seems like the bad guy and is under attack, or if you have a feeling of let's say native pride towards your fellow citizen you'll stand up against the foreign barbaric hordes no matter what your fellow citizen did, it's all relative... this is why it's really hard to pin point controllable situations, and to ask moderators to moderate such situations, and so just as it was previously suggested all we could do is just ask people to be nice to each other, same as when parents ask their kids and their neighbors kids to be nice to each other, and just when the parent turns his back the neighbor's kid kicks you, and all the parent can say is that, it's either both you kids' fault or go into an endless story from all sides which will present no solid ground for anything and the awkward position of the kids waiting for your wise judgement on the matter, when there's not enough grounds to take it.


Re: Perception, not intention is the root of harassment

"The Internet Never Forgets."
I recall Jane and I going round and round about resume (or curriculum vitae) formats and information....
Perhaps I'm having a senior moment, but I don't recall this. Are you sure it was me you were debating the topic with, rather than another Jane? (eg, Jane Ackerman?)
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