J
Okay, getting ready for our surveillance audit next month, and starting to feel pretty frazzled. I know we have a few "Funniest Audit Stories" threads going on, but I'm wondering if anyone has any good horror stories that didn’t fall under the funny category. Just to freak me out.
One that comes to my mind, from a place I used to work wasn’t a QMS audit, but an audit of the plant by the top-top-top management of the corporation. The president of the division was going to be there – very big deal. It was never stated, but I think he was there to decide the fate of the plant.
We 5Sed our butts off for days prior to the audit. Dotted all our i’s and crossed all our t’s. Took down the outdated birds-eye view pictures of the plant and hired a helicopter and photographer to take new ones. Stripped and re-varnished the wooden paneling in the lobby that the sun had faded over 30 years. Washed the fork trucks. Pulled up all the aisle marking tape and put down new. You get the idea.
The first day of the audit, the VP of the division wandered away from the tour group without saying a word just as they were standing near the Spare Parts crib. He started to climb the stairway that goes to a loft where we kept ‘bulk’ spare parts such as rubber hosing. Curious, everyone followed him up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, he opened a door that probably hadn’t been opened in 10 years. Seriously, most of the employees at that plant didn’t even realize the room was there. And it was packed full of stuff. Old parts (probably nonconforming, though not marked), stacks and stacks of mystery documents, pieces of machines… all covered with 10 years worth of dust. I have to assume the room had been used as a ‘trailer’ to hide a bunch of stuff before an audit long ago, but I don’t know that for sure – nobody really does.
You can imagine how many hearts stopped as he turned that doorknob…. We got a good chewing out at the audit wrap-up for that.
So, come on, any really good horror stories?
One that comes to my mind, from a place I used to work wasn’t a QMS audit, but an audit of the plant by the top-top-top management of the corporation. The president of the division was going to be there – very big deal. It was never stated, but I think he was there to decide the fate of the plant.
We 5Sed our butts off for days prior to the audit. Dotted all our i’s and crossed all our t’s. Took down the outdated birds-eye view pictures of the plant and hired a helicopter and photographer to take new ones. Stripped and re-varnished the wooden paneling in the lobby that the sun had faded over 30 years. Washed the fork trucks. Pulled up all the aisle marking tape and put down new. You get the idea.
The first day of the audit, the VP of the division wandered away from the tour group without saying a word just as they were standing near the Spare Parts crib. He started to climb the stairway that goes to a loft where we kept ‘bulk’ spare parts such as rubber hosing. Curious, everyone followed him up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, he opened a door that probably hadn’t been opened in 10 years. Seriously, most of the employees at that plant didn’t even realize the room was there. And it was packed full of stuff. Old parts (probably nonconforming, though not marked), stacks and stacks of mystery documents, pieces of machines… all covered with 10 years worth of dust. I have to assume the room had been used as a ‘trailer’ to hide a bunch of stuff before an audit long ago, but I don’t know that for sure – nobody really does.
You can imagine how many hearts stopped as he turned that doorknob…. We got a good chewing out at the audit wrap-up for that.
So, come on, any really good horror stories?

Fortunately, the lead auditor had a much more level head and realized that by not having some of these items in place we were not affecting the quality of the product OR customer satisfaction.
)