Chuck Norris Facts

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n866fandp

#1
I'm not sure if anyone knows it but:
If at first you don't succeed your not Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice!

When the boogey man goes to bed at night he check under his bed for Chuck Norris!

30 times Chuck Norris is oblivion!

Chuck Norris can believe its not butter!

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake at a batchelor party, before his friends told him there was a stripper in it!:mg:
 
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wmarhel

#3
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

----Favorites Selected by Chuck himself (According to ChuckNorrisFacts.com)-----
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

I actually have a shirt with Chuck's face and some of these sayings on it. :)

Wayne
 

BradM

Staff member
Admin
#4
Ok... obviously I'm in the dark on this one (obviously with Chuck Norris:lmao:).

Is there a running joke about Chuck I do not know??:tg:
 
D

domingue

#5
Ok... obviously I'm in the dark on this one (obviously with Chuck Norris:lmao:).

Is there a running joke about Chuck I do not know??:tg:
Yeah these Chuck Norris jokes have been circulating for a few years now. They also exist for Vin Diesel and Jack Bauer.
 

Jim Wynne

Staff member
Admin
#7
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

----Favorites Selected by Chuck himself (According to ChuckNorrisFacts.com)-----
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

I actually have a shirt with Chuck's face and some of these sayings on it. :)

Wayne
ALso:

Chuck Norris is a candidate for "Person in Show Business with Least Amount of Talent" recognition.

Chuck Norris is not very smart, but he can lift heavy things.
 
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chaosweary

#9
I happen to have a Chuck Norris book of fact before it got recalled...I wonder if its putting it on e-bay?
 
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