Come GROPE with me

Jim Wynne

Staff member
Admin
#1
Reading through this thread P-diagram in FMEA preparation - What does the "P" stand for in "P-diagram"? this morning, I was once again reminded how some new type of flowchart or diagram seems to appear about once a month. Most of them are useless and never looked at after they've been drawn, it seems.

This gave me an idea: Why not have a single diagram that combines the features of all other known diagrams--Ishikawa, process flow, spaghetti, turtle, muskrat, mindmap--whatever--and is totally indecipherable, but looks very busy and impressive. It would be the perfect way to tell your clueless customers, "We have no idea what we're doing, or how we're going to accomplish the impossible tasks you expect of us, and here's a diagram of it."

Thus far, the idea is in the embryonic stage, and the details need to be worked out, but I do have a name for it. I'll call it the Graphical Representation of Practically Everything, or GROPE™ Diagram for short.

How can it fail?
 
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T

tyker

#3
I remember visiting a company with a very strong IT department where people had too much time on their hands. One of the screensavers they had devised started off with a picture of a naked man with his legs apart viewed from behind.
He slowly leaned forward. Gradually his head appeared between his legs and proceeded to disappear up his backside followed by the rest of his body. It struck me as the perfect descriptor of many "quality" systems I've seen and could well form the basis for the Grope diagram for interpreting customer specific requirements.
Trademarking this concept may have been a wise investment.
 

Jim Wynne

Staff member
Admin
#5
moiraknows said:
Must be a "Hands-ON" Chart!:rolleyes:
From the American Heritage Dictionary:

[SIZE=-1]VERB:[/SIZE]Inflected forms: groped, grop·ing, gropes
[SIZE=-1]INTRANSITIVE VERB:[/SIZE]1. To reach about uncertainly; feel one's way: groped for the telephone. 2. To search blindly or uncertainly: grope for an answer. [SIZE=-1]TRANSITIVE VERB:[/SIZE]1. To make (one's way) by reaching about uncertainly. 2. Slang To handle or fondle for REDACTED pleasure. [SIZE=-1]NOUN:[/SIZE]The act or an instance of groping.

The second sense of the transitive form is hereby excluded from all official GROPE diagrams, unless one takes unusual pleasure in dealing with inanimate manufacturing processes. :D
 
#6
Jim Wynne said:
the Graphical Representation of Practically Everything, or GROPE™ Diagram for short.
Great idea. Then let's think outside the box: 2D is for whimps. Make it 3D to create room for all that information :D . That would force us to use solid CAD or something to present the thing.

Jim Wynne said:
How can it fail?
In every way possible in the other diagrams used in the combination, and then some... :tg:

/Claes
 

Jim Wynne

Staff member
Admin
#7
Claes Gefvenberg said:
Great idea. Then let's think outside the box: 2D is for whimps. Make it 3D to create room for all that information :D .
I thought of that but rejected it as too dangerous, what with all of those arrows flying around.

Claes Gefvenberg said:
In every way possible in the other diagrams used in the combination, and then some... :tg:
You have a firm grasp of the concept. Failure is success!
 
A

Alan Greatbatch

#8
I like the 3D idea. Think how many different angles you could examine the data from and how many different conclusions you could come up. One of these conclusions is bound to satisfy the customer.

The name "GROPE" works well too, like try to find out what the customer really wants when they don't even know themselves.
 
C

Craig H.

#9
I'm trying to visualize it now....

Remember Tinkertoys? A 3D off-kilter matrix of those, wrapped around a bunch of Lego stacks, and the whole thing slathered in Silly String. EUREKA!
 
D

Dave Dunn

#10
Jim Wynne said:
From the American Heritage Dictionary:

[SIZE=-1]VERB:[/SIZE]Inflected forms: groped, grop·ing, gropes
[SIZE=-1]INTRANSITIVE VERB:[/SIZE]1. To reach about uncertainly; feel one's way: groped for the telephone. 2. To search blindly or uncertainly: grope for an answer. [SIZE=-1]TRANSITIVE VERB:[/SIZE]1. To make (one's way) by reaching about uncertainly. 2. Slang To handle or fondle for REDACTED pleasure. [SIZE=-1]NOUN:[/SIZE]The act or an instance of groping.

The second sense of the transitive form is hereby excluded from all official GROPE diagrams, unless one takes unusual pleasure in dealing with inanimate manufacturing processes. :D
It could be a valid process definition depending on the product.:tg:
 
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