Ferengi Rules Of Aquisition - Star Trek Series Deep Space Nine


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Randy metioned this in another thread and I thought I would post them here. Pretty funny stuff.

This comes from the Star Trek Series Deep Space Nine

The Ferengi are an alien race whose culture is based on commerece and greed.

And as you look through them, there are some missing. That is becuase they are not "cannon". In other words, if something isn't metioned in an aired episode or movie, it doesn't exist. This helps keep us Trekkers in line. LOL!!!!



1.Once you have their money, you never give it back.
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7. Keep your ears open.
8. Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
8A. Small print leads to large risk.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. Greed is eternal.
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
16. A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along.)
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
21. Never place friendship above profit.
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother (...insult something he cares about instead.)
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34. War is good for business.
35. Peace is good for business.
40.She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
41. Profit is its own reward.
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
47. Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own.
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52. Never ask when you can take.
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum, treasure them.
58. There is no substitute for success.
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
60. Keep your lies consistent.
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
69. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
76. Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the **** out of your enemies.
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits.
94. Females and finances don't mix.
97. Enough...is never enough.
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
104. Faith moves mountains...of inventory.
105. There is no honor in poverty.
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
111. Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them. Sisko
112. Never have sex with the boss' sister.
113. Always have sex with the boss.
121. Everything is for sale, including friendship.
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141. Only fools pay retail.
144. There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
153. Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
191. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
192. Never cheat a Klingon...unless you're sure you can get away with it.
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
202. The justification of profit is profit.
205. New customers are like razor toothed gree worms, they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
216. Never gamble with an empath.
217. You can't free a fish from water.
218. Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
218A. Always know what you're buying.
219. Possession is eleven-tenths of the law.
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236. You can't buy faith.
242. More is good...all is better.
255. A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
266. When in doubt, lie.
284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
286. When Morn leaves, it's all over.
287. If they want their money back, give it to them.
289. Greed is dead. ,
290. Never place profit above friendship.
291. Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.
292. Money can never replace dignity.
293. A good deed is its own reward.
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Super Moderator
I think I may have some more to go with those. Here is another tid bit I have used.

The Ferengi “Great Material Continuum”

"You have to have faith… in the Great Material Continuum… the force that binds the universe together… (everywhere) in the universe, there are (places) filled with too much of one thing and not enough of another and the Great Continuum flows through them all like a mighty river: from 'have' to 'want' and back again. And if we navigate the Continuum with skill and grace our (lives) will be filled with everything our hearts desire… Trust and the river will provide." - "Nog" ("Star Trek: Deep Space Nine")

What is required are tools or instruments to help navigate the treacherous waters of the Continuum.

The Continuum is the Business World, The “Haves” are the suppliers and the “Wants” are the customers. ISO 9001 & ISO 14001 are navigation tools that can help bring them both together.

Cool huh?


Trusted Information Resource
way cool


The Great Material Continuum

What a great concept. I remember that episode and saying "wow"!!!

BTW - Did you purchase your first season DVD set. My hubby was never a big DS9 fan, primarily because he didn't watch it. Now that he has seen the whole first season, he's changed his mind. He thinks the series had some of the best story writing of all the franchise. I have to agree.


P.S. A co-worker that knows less than nothing about Star Trek threatened me with a "Vulcan Mind Warp". I almost died of laughter!!!!!


Super Moderator
Of all of the series in the Star Trek franchise DS9 had the best writing and overall storyline. The 7 year development of the characters surpassed any of the others. Once you got past the makeup the characters became real people because of what was happening. You had real life and death issues, and the deaths were not always sanitary as in the other Trek programs. Ben Sisko (Avery Brooks) became a man who was able to justify murder for the sake of the continued existance of his way of life. There was real intrigue.

The charactoer played by Andrew Robinson (the killer in the original Dirty Harry BTW), Garak had so many personalities that one minute you loved him and the next you despised him.

Nog, a teenage Ferengi played by Aron Eisenberg and nephew to Quark, went from being a rotten kid to a responsible member of Starfleet and an amputee resulting from combat realted injuries (he hit a mine). That episode ( The Seige of AR-558, airdate 14 Nov 98) and the one where Nog came home as an amputee having mental problems were two of the best produced.

DS9 is a great TV series to do character study.


Super Moderator
On a lighter note, here's some more Ferengi stuff.

Ferengi Rules, New and Unwritten

286. When Morn leaves, it's all over.

299. Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. (That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time.)

?. The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.

?. The greater (the) amount you are taking from someone, the greater the distraction must be.

?. A bargain usually isn't.

?. One person's secret is another person's opportunity.

?. The hand that holds the latinum may also hide a dagger.

?. You can tell a great deal about a man from his shoes.

?. Time's an asset.

?. Your goods are now my goods.

?. Exploitation begins at home.

?. When you see a good deal, jump on it.

?. A Ferengi without a head for business has no future.

?. Business is business, even among friends.

?. Everything has a price.

?. Ears open, eyes wide.

?. Never believe anyone taller than you.

?. There's a Rule of Acquisition to cover everything, but that doesn't mean one always has to be applied.

?. It's better to live on one's feet than to die on one's knees.

?. It’s better to live on one’s knees than to die on one’s feet.

This is great stuff!!!!!!!!!!!


Change Agent and Data Storyteller
Super Moderator
Re: way cool

CarolX said:

A co-worker that knows less than nothing about Star Trek threatened me with a "Vulcan Mind Warp". I almost died of laughter!!!!!
In school, we learned a very important mental trick to help us relax before a big exam....the Vulcan Mind Dump. :vfunny:

Randy Stewart


As much as I enjoyed DS9, TNG is my choice. I did enjoy Sisko and the baseball, it was something to think that baseball survived that long. I guess the whole thing with a Navy set up is what caused me to be interested in TNG. Then with working with the B3 "Resistence is futile".:biglaugh:


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old timer here

Randy Stewart,

My first exposure to Star Trek was when I was 6 years old and the original series aired. It took me 4 seasons to break down and watch TNG. Obviously, resistance is futile. LOL.

I like them all, although I don't have time to get into the new series. We will just wait and buy them on DVD. By that time I will need a special rider on my homeowners policy to cover the value of all these DVDs. LOL

What can I say, except beam me up.



What a relief! An odds and ends thread that isn't discussing the war, hunting, depressing life changes, Homeland Security, or dead things!

Carol, thank you so much for sharing the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition! I bow to your superior knowledge...did you really write them down as they happened??? That's a new definition of obsessive!

I was always touched by Odo's unrequited love for Major Kira. I loved TNG too, but found DS9 richer and more, dare I say, human.

Worf is still my hero, and, as "the honorable warrior" should be the patron saint of quality people!

However, Jean Luc Picard has my heart for all eternity.
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