SBS - The best value in QMS software

Golf

Elsmar Forum Sponsor
E

energy

#12
I'll take it a step further

howste said:
Golf? Isn't that a card game?
It's a game played by....I had to delete most of my post. It was the ole energy coming out. Enjoy the game and watching it on T.V. :(

Golf Cemetery-George Carlin

I actually can envision many "Theme Cemeteries", but Golf seems to be one that many, many people would spend money to get into. Unlike a lot of other sports, even people who play very badly spend a lot of money to do it.

So a cemetery for golfers, to be laid to rest with other golfers (perhaps in groups of 4), would appeal to a large number of people.

The grounds, of course, would be well kept. The grass would be neatly trimmed and kept free of debris. The ladies' graves would be 20 yards in front of mens', which in turn are 20 yds in front of the "Pro's".

And rather than just come and lay flowers and weep, the departed's family comes and plays mini-golf around the cemetery (maybe incorporating tomb-stones for bank-shots, although that's pretty morbid). What a lovely way to pay tribute to that golfer who used to be in your life. :vfunny:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
L

Laura M

#13
I'm sure Carlin has sumthin to say about fishin too......

Shall we compare?

Beer drinking involved? Yes
Reaching into water to retreive? (in my case, usually no -they are in the middle of the pond) But in some cases, Yes
Takes about 4 hours on a good day? Yes
Get up early for a good spot? Yes
Cost of equipment involved? Well, I suppose that varies for both
The company you keep? Same (not all golfers are CC snobs, FYI)

Now it'll get complicated....

Hope for cold weather so you can freeze? Fishing only. In Rochester, we golf when its 32, but it ain't fun!
Successful round means dinner? Fishing only - Golfers love the 19th hole. With a good side bet, you don't even buy.
Know where you gotta go? Golf only, mmmm maybe that's the attraction to fishing - you have no idea where to aim. How much fun would it be with little flags in the water telling you where to cast?

Well, that's all I could come up with. I know some don't understand golf, and if I don't get better soon, it's back to cross stitch and basket weaving, but for now, I hope to retire from my soccer and softball days into the leisurely sport of golf. (In 10 years....) Cheers!
 
E

energy

#14
I played a little

Laura M said:
I'm sure Carlin has sumthin to say about fishin too......
The company you keep? Same (not all golfers are CC snobs, FYI)
I enjoyed the company I kept. It was those idiot members behind me yelling "fore" and hitting down on us because we weren't playing as fast as they liked. Or just yelling at us. You have no idea how many golf balls I deliberately walked or drove over. And no idea how many extended fingers offered to these arrogant members. We were in a shop league and played only 9 holes a week. No Jeans, tank tops, no loud talking, etc. What a bunch of pansies. Also came very close to punching out a few of these turds when we passed each other on the way to the next hole. Don't miss that at all. I guess if you act the way they want, it's a blast! To some, like me, the price is too steep! :vfunny: As for drinking a beer, you had to go into the woods for that "lost" ball. :rolleyes:
 
#15
Laura M said:
How much fun would it be with little flags in the water telling you where to cast?
Weel, you would start out at the dock and cast in the direction of the flag. You would then row the boat (most coursed now require you to use a motor -- so you won't slow down other fishermen) to the where you casted last. Then you would make another cast and repeat the process until you get to the fish. Of course it can be come much more complicated with a foursome in the boat. Because you can drive a golfball farther than you can cast, a par 33 might not be un-realistic. Foul hooking a fish, or catching the wrong fish would cost you a stroke or two. Casting on shore, or into the trees would also cost you a stroke, although you might have to go on shore, or climb a tree to retreive your lure. :p
 

gpainter

Quite Involved in Discussions
#16
Laura M said:
Somebody please blame the press. He was the only guy they showed almost every shot of that had such a high score. What's up with that? Did they show Couple's phenomenal shot on 18 (I saw it live, so I really don't know) when he was over by the merchandise tent (would have been a neighboring hole) but it was trampled down hard long grass. A swarm of people just showed up because Tiger had just finished and they were on they way out -so the crowd had to be parted, and he went 180 yards over trees to a pin he couldnt see, to the back of the green - par saved the hole.

There were so many awesome shot's made by the guys that 'lost' but we only got to see all of Tiger's bad ones. Must be the advertiser's said 75% Tiger or we pull the plug - or some lame BS like that. Next time a baseball player throws a helmet in the dugout, or better yet, takes out the catcher, make sure the kids are watching. :truce:

Sorry - in golf etiquette it probably isn't right, but he has the right to be angry with himself, and not only are we and the press ripping apart his golf play, but his reactions too. Holy smokes - I'd like to cut him some slack. Poor guy has so much pressure to please everyone. Wonder how we all would hold up to that scrutiny.
There is a price for fame and being a walking advertisement. Everyone wants to be #1, so if you are #1 chances are you will not be in the full light too long. Harvey Mackay said something to the effect work hard at being#2 because sooner or later #1 fails. I believe that saying was for the Sales Force. Tiger is a hero and there are certain responsibilities and pressures that go with that title. I did not see what happened so I can not express my opnion on it.
 
Last edited:
E

energy

#17
1 to a boat!

db said:
Casting on shore, or into the trees would also cost you a stroke, although you might have to go on shore, or climb a tree to retreive your lure.
If you are wearing those gay pants, the others get to practice casting at you. If this causes you to fall in the water, you lose a point for having to play without that talcum powder on your hiney! :vfunny:
 
R

Randy Stewart

#18
I think I would have paid to see you playing at a CC energy! :vfunny:
I've played at a couple and just couldn't stand it. The tank tops and some of that, most of the public courses here have the same rules but the Birmingham CC made us step aside for "any" member to play through - non-members have red flags on their golf carts or carriers and even if you're on your 2nd shot you wait while members tee off. :confused:
 

howste

Thaumaturge
Super Moderator
#19
energy said:
It's a game played by....I had to delete most of my post. It was the ole energy coming out. Enjoy the game and watching it on T.V. :(
Hey Energy, I liked the first version you posted. Fortunately the subscription email I received has the full text for me to enjoy! :biglaugh:

I've played golf maybe 5 times in my life. I feel that I got my money's worth because I got to hit the ball at least twice as much as anyone else. I also got to learn new vocabulary such as "worm burner." :D
 
C

Craig H.

#20
howste said:
Hey Energy, I liked the first version you posted. Fortunately the subscription email I received has the full text for me to enjoy! :biglaugh:

I've played golf maybe 5 times in my life. I feel that I got my money's worth because I got to hit the ball at least twice as much as anyone else. I also got to learn new vocabulary such as "worm burner." :D

howste, I learned some new words too.

Unfortunately, using them here would get me banned from the Cove, or at least arrested, anyhow.
 

Similar threads

Top Bottom