My sister went through that stuff a year ago Greg. Our prayers will be with you, but if you see energy bobbing his head, he's just pretending!
Now about the AWOL stuff; you may be joking about the note from your mother but they do work! While I was on the Von Steuben SSBN 632 as the Deck Div LPO I had a guy that missed ships movement. Now that is a frying offense, no one missed ships movement. I had reported him AWOL at 5:30 that morning and as we pulled away from the Pier at 7:00 we were told that the captains wife had custody of him. The story was that his mother told him not to go (he was supporting her on his E-2 pay) so he didn't.
When we returned he received a Hardship discharge, not dishonorable. So the note from mom can work!