How do you identify job burnout?

[Rachel]

Thanks all.
Lots of good suggestions here.
I have been trying to save my holidays for my wedding later in the year, but I might have to talk to my boss and figure something else out. I have only had days off here and there since I started - and more often than not they weren't vacation (i.e., bereavement, sick days). I think I have had three actual vacation days off since I started in late 2003 - which is probably not much less than some of you, I know. I'm just tired and whiny.

 

[AllanJ]

Edit: I guess a better question might be - what are your ways of coping with the highs and lows of work?

Music listening and/ or playing.

Actually, Rachel, I recall a certain Lady Cover with whom you are well acquainted offering an interesting top ten R&R titles a couple of days ago? Maybe they will work?

And, today is POETS day as well!

PS: Don't forget Fleetwood Mac - perhaps "Albatross" with a glass of wine?

 

[Bill Pflanz]

Thanks all.
Lots of good suggestions here.
I have been trying to save my holidays for my wedding later in the year

First, congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Second that explains a lot of your stress. My daughter just got married last year and it was unbelievably stressful for her. She was in a similar position and finally asked for time off even when it meant no pay.

Remember to always keep in mind what is important in your life.

Bill Pflanz

 

[Rob Nix]

I waffle between feeling numb and feeling totally overwhelmed.

mmmmmm, waffles, yumm.

Now you know how I cope.

But seriously, do only what you can - without killing yourself. You are probably harder on yourself than anyone else. Rejoice over small successes, and keep plugging away. At the end of the work day, leave it there. Here's some excerpts I found from a magazine:

Dr. Yutaka Ono, a director at Keio University School of Medicine, recommends “three C’s” for coping with burnout. He explains: “The ‘three C’s’ stand for control, communication, and cognition.”...
1) In order to overcome feelings of helplessness, you must be able to feel you are in control of your feelings and behavior. When frustration daily dominates your emotions and crushes your capacity to solve problems, it is easy to believe things are out of your hands. However, do not just sit back and dwell on troublesome thoughts. Try to solve your problem step-by-step [like the "eating an elephant comment]. Do not procrastinate. Just by initiating positive actions, you will begin to feel better and in control.
2) The second “C” that Dr. Ono mentioned involves communication. It is interesting that fire fighters rarely experience burnout. This may be because, in addition to being considered heroes, they are tied together by a strong bond of camaraderie. Having a supportive group to lean on [like the Cove], one can draw help from them. Where can you find comforting support today? Describing ways for physicians to cope with burnout, the book Moetsukishokogun (Burnout Syndrome) states: “For doctors, their family, especially their spouse, is the most effective and realistic emotional supporter.” Everyone needs someone in whom to confide personal feelings.
3) Finally, a change may be needed in how you view your situation. Cognition, or perception, is the last “C” that Dr. Ono suggests as a way to cope with burnout. When under excessive stress, we tend to make negative estimates of everything and entrap ourselves in pessimistic viewpoints. However, we have to be realistic. Analyze whether or not there really is a basis for such negative thinking. Will the result be as bad as you fear? Try to look at things from another point of view.
Finally, “You can begin by assuming that if you’re burned out, it’s probably because you’re ‘good,’ not because you’re ‘bad,’” says Parents magazine. Remember: Types who are prone to burnout have high standards and care about others.

 

[Claes Gefvenberg]

First, congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Second that explains a lot of your stress. My daughter just got married last year and it was unbelievably stressful for her.

Yes, if I haven't congratulated you on that already, I suppose this is a good time: Congratulations . Lots of good advice in this thread, and I think that what you're describing happens to most of us every now and then. The severity may range from hardly perceptable to abysmal, but I think we all get it, and I hope you'll get to grips with it soon.

/Claes

 

[Rachel]

Thanks to all for the encouragement. I do think it's just burnout and exhaustion - at least, I hope that's all it is. The weekends are no more relaxing, really...between now and mid-October (the wedding), we have a grand total of 4 free weekends left. (How pathetic is it when you're scheduled that far in advance? Ridiculous - I swear, I'm really not that important of a person!) There's not a lot that can be done about it, either. I know people put up with much worse - I guess I'm wimpy in that regard.

Maybe saving the holidays for the wedding isn't such a good idea after all. I wouldn't even mind taking time without pay - at this point, I think the time is more important than the money. We can eat noodles and sauce for a couple of weeks.

 

[SteelWoman]

Just 'cause I'm about to leave Quality and go in another direction, I'd also like to offer the advice to not ignore that your feelings may have something to do with where you're at career-wise. I started feeling about 2 years ago that it may be time for a change. I was getting more and more frustrated with doing what one Cover in this thread called "doing work no one cares about," and then about a year ago some changes here made it even more of an issue. Why stay in an arena like that? For me and many of my co-workers the main "staying" point was Money... but at some point you have to ask if that's enough.

I'm a big fan of Joseph Campbell, and he says it well:

"Follow your bliss. There's something inside you that knows when you're in the center, that knows when you're on the beam or off the beam, and if you get off the beam to earn money you've lost your life. And if you stay in the center and don't get any money, you still have your bliss."

All my two cents worth, of course. Congrats on the wedding, by the way!

 

[Bill Pflanz]

Rachel,

What you are describing about your wedding is more common than you think. I don't know how well off your parents are but my daughter didn't feel bad about asking me to chip in on some more financial help after the wedding. I found it economical and less hassle to buy her a washer and dryer for Christmas rather then tying ours up every weekend. SteelWoman gave good advice about happiness and money. I would follow it. Even if you are not going through a wedding, other Covers should think about the advice also.

Bill Pflanz

 

[Rachel]

Bill,
We are saving quite aggressively for the "blessed event", but are still living comfortably. We are also lucky to have parents on both sides that are helping - which is great. Between both sets, we probably could get by saving only half of what we're projecting - but I really think there's something to be said for doing it on your own. (I'm quite stubborn that way, actually - there was already some drama with the in-laws when we said that we wouldn't need all of their contribution! Oops...)

Given that going it alone isn't a possibility without having a two-year engagement, taking out a loan, or stepping on the parents' toes where the guest list is concerned :mg:, we're taking the help. I do want to do as much of it on our own as we can, though.

It's not about the cash flow at this point, though - it's the time. There just isn't time to deal with work, do the wedding stuff, maintain any semblance of a normal life outside of weddingworld, and take a holiday. I may just bite the bullet and take a week off in the summer - go home and spend some time with my mother and siblings - but only if I can get it in writing from my boss that I am approved for a week without pay as well. Otherwise...there's no way I'm getting married on a Saturday and coming into work the following Monday morning!!

 

[Wes Bucey]

When money is an issue, I vote for scaling back the "foo foo dust" on a big wedding celebration. Much better, in my estimation, is to spend the money on things a couple needs to run a household without stress.

Some of the greatest wedding celebrations I've been to have been small (less than 200 people, including kids and babies) held in the family church with a potluck meal in the church basement and wedding toasts made with sparkling grape juice. As a matter of fact, the one wedding celebration which stands out most in my memory among the hundreds I attended in the past 50 years was in a small farm community with an outdoor barbeque on the church lawn for the entire community. As I recall, the minister and priest from the other two churches in the community came and took on all comers as a team in the impromptu horseshoe tournament that afternoon.

Total cost to the couple (she had her mom's dress retailored free by a lady from the church) was less than $100 (donation to minister and church), everything else was supplied by family and community members. This even included the square dance band which showed up about 6pm and played until the party broke up at 10 pm.

It wasn't that either family was poor - this was just the customary practice in their community.

The couple did leave on a honeymoon that night - I don't remember where.