How Engineers view things differently :)

Ajit Basrur

Staff member
Admin
#1
Weekend Humor :lol:

Understanding Engineers – One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers – Two

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Understanding Engineers – Three

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons
Civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers – Four

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.

One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
 
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Ka Pilo

#4
God and the Devil discuss an Engineer
Although locked in fierce competition for what seems like forever, God and the Devil meet once every week for coffee just to catch up with each other. One week they're in heaven and the next they're in hell. When it was God's turn to host last week, the Devil was whistling a happy tune as he walked through the gates and wore a huge smile as he plopped down in the golden chair. As he poured a cup, God said, "You look pretty pleased with yourself." "Yeah," said the Devil, "Things are really looking up since I got that engineer last week. He's put in escalators and flush toilets, and he even found a way to control the heat in those old furnaces. I've been meaning to thank you for turning him away up here." God looked stunned, and almost spilled coffee into the saucer. "You know that you're not supposed to get any engineers," God said. "Peter was breaking in some new help at the gates last week, and they must have made a mistake. Just send him back up and we'll straighten it out." But the Devil just chuckled and said, "No. I think I'll keep him. He was talking about looking into better ventilation this week. I can see why you keep them all for yourself." "Send him back," demanded God "No," smirked the Devil. God thundered, "Send him back, or..." "Or what?" the Devil asked. "Or I'll sue," finished God. The Devil chuckled again. "Where are you going to get a lawyer?"

Taken from http://www.engineeringhumor.com/jokes.html
 

Miner

Forum Moderator
Staff member
Admin
#5
Understanding Engineers – Two

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Not quite right:

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To Finance, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
To the engineer it was perfectly designed with a safety factor of 2.
 

arios

Your Mexican Amigo
#8
Not quite right:

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To Finance, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
To the engineer it was perfectly designed with a safety factor of 2.
For the 3rd Party QMS auditor:

There is no evidence of the other half amount of water, and the empty space was not filled with "N/A"
 
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