How to create jargon?

[Atul Khandekar]

While we debate the new management philosophies and Gurus in another thread, here is an interesting jargon creater I found. The example is a defence related 'buzz-word generator', but I am sure it can be extended to many other areas and all languages.

"...The Canadian Defence Department is credited with the invention of the following 'buzz-phrase generator'.

Column 1
~~~~~~~~
0.integrated
1.overall
2.systematized
3.parallel
4.functional
5.responsive
6.optimal
7.synchronized
8.compatible
9.balanced

Column 2
~~~~~~~~
0.management
1.organizational
2.monitored
3.reciprocal
4.digital
5.logistical
6.transitional
7.incremental
8.third-generation
9.policy

Column 3
~~~~~~~~
0.options
1.flexibility
2.capability
3.mobility
4.programming
5.concept
6.time-phase
7.projection
8.hardware
9.contingency

The procedure is simple. You think of a three-digit number at random and take the corresponding word from each column. Thus, 601 gives you the buzz-phrase 'optimal management flexibility', 095 gives 'integrated policy concept', 352 gives 'parallel logistical capability', and so on. The authors claim that the buzz-phrase generator gives its users 'instant expertise on matters pertaining to defence', enabling them to invest anything they write, not with any particular meaning, but with 'that proper ring of decisive, progressive, knowledgeable authority'. ..."

====
Taken from the book "The Complete Plain Words" by Sir Ernest Gowers

 

[Atul Khandekar]

Don't miss this movie!
https://www.ifilm.com/ifilm/product/film_info/0,3699,1317509,00.html

 

[db]

Speak Pentagonese?

Yes, thanks Atul, this sounds a lot like something I saw recently on how to speak Pentagonese (The Pentagon is the center of the US military). But, I think this would work extremely well in business as long as you "hit the ground running", "shifted your paradigms", and were "proactive".

Oh Boy

 

[Charmed]

Overall Management Flexibility

Dear All:

I was looking for a new buzzword to SELL a great new idea I have. This Buzz Word Generator has really helped. I will try Overall Management Flexibility for the first go. I may come back later if it "bombs". Remember, it is all part of the "flexibility" thing.

Charmed

*****

While we debate the new management philosophies and Gurus in another thread, here is an interesting jargon creater I found. The example is a defence related 'buzz-word generator', but I am sure it can be extended to many other areas and all languages.

"...The Canadian Defence Department is credited with the invention of the following 'buzz-phrase generator'.

Column 1
~~~~~~~~
0.integrated
1.overall
2.systematized
3.parallel
4.functional
5.responsive
6.optimal
7.synchronized
8.compatible
9.balanced

Column 2
~~~~~~~~
0.management
1.organizational
2.monitored
3.reciprocal
4.digital
5.logistical
6.transitional
7.incremental
8.third-generation
9.policy

Column 3
~~~~~~~~
0.options
1.flexibility
2.capability
3.mobility
4.programming
5.concept
6.time-phase
7.projection
8.hardware
9.contingency

The procedure is simple. You think of a three-digit number at random and take the corresponding word from each column. Thus, 601 gives you the buzz-phrase 'optimal management flexibility', 095 gives 'integrated policy concept', 352 gives 'parallel logistical capability', and so on. The authors claim that the buzz-phrase generator gives its users 'instant expertise on matters pertaining to defence', enabling them to invest anything they write, not with any particular meaning, but with 'that proper ring of decisive, progressive, knowledgeable authority'. ..."

====
Taken from the book "The Complete Plain Words" by Sir Ernest Gowers

 

[RoxaneB]

"...The Canadian Defence Department is credited with the invention of the following 'buzz-phrase generator'.

*sigh* No wonder we Canucks are always grumbling about our government. We couldn't afford new helicopters for our military (such as it is), but we paid someone to come up with this?!?! Ahhh..Canadian Defense....we'll bore the enemy to death with meaningless jargon...

 

[Rob Nix]

We couldn't afford new helicopters for our military (such as it is)

Canucks have helicopters? I thought you had only horses. When I hear the term "Canadian Defence", my immediate thought is: Goalie.

 

[Wes Bucey]

Canucks have helicopters? I thought you had only horses. When I hear the term "Canadian Defence", my immediate thought is: Goalie.

The best defense (American spelling) is a good offense - very true of Canadian Hockey.

For those who watched the film of "Bulls--t Bingo" suggested by Atul - here's your opportunity to play the fun game with your colleagues at your next meeting:

Here's where to make your own cards to play the game yourself.
(Newbies - click the link - the word in the url does not pass muster with the automatic "bad language editor" - it comes up as https://www.perkigoth.com/home/kermit/stuff/bull****bingo/
so, even then you have to edit it in your address window by replacing the first asterisk (*) with an "S" and the second with "H" and the third with "I" and the fourth with "T" once you get the error 404 window. After editing the url address, reload.)