I Love my Job !!

T

Ted Schmitt

#1
I LOVE MY JOB

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.



Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my rear end started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my rear end started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my rear end was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my rear end.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my rear end as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my rear end was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your rear end.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.
 
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P

prototyper

#2
And I thought my job was a pain in the **** at times!!

It's good that he could still see the funny side of an awful situation!
 
D

Duke Okes

#4
Although funny, any bets on whether it's real, versus sort of an urban legend-type thing?
 
J

JaneB

#7
Although funny, any bets on whether it's real, versus sort of an urban legend-type thing?
Urban legend - see: here and here - for example.

Alternative versions change the location and radio stations, eg: " Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Mayo (IRELAND). ... The sister sends the email to RnaG (Irish
radio station) in Galway,


But a very funny one all the same!
 
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