If Steven Wright worked in Quality Assurance

R

Rob Nix

#1
“Five whys”. That’s nothing. My 6 year old has that beat.

I saw a homeless SPC coordinator on the street corner collecting data.

I took a hypothesis test. I can only assume I passed it.

If you work at a place that makes reject tags, how do you identify the bad ones?

My decision tree and fault tree got together and decided it was my fault.

I think the perfect job is being an inspector at the jean companies. You can’t lose.

The economy really hurt the upholstery business. But they’re recovering.

They were doing nondestructive testing on bombs. What if they pass?

This guy with Progeria does all of our accelerated life testing. That’s just wrong.

This girl with anorexia runs the Lean group. Her motto is “when in doubt, throw it up”.

We build time machines. On time delivery is no problem.

We have six sigma black suspenders. They keep us in suspense.

I did some reverse engineering. When I finished I had a blank sheet of paper.

I was attacked by an SPC chart. It was out of control.

I worked as a salesman for a company that made “bills of goods”. Nobody ever believes me.

If pest control technicians kill pests, what do quality control technicians do?

Instead of making the place leaner, we put up those circus mirrors. Now it just looks leaner.

It’s kind of ironic that in Deming’s last days he could only eat instant pudding.

They have a support group now for dependent variables.

We train amnesiacs. For fun we start off going around the room asking their names and what they do.

Basic dimensions: I have no tolerance for them.

I worked for a company that manufactured waste. We introduced Lean. Now they’re closed.

Our goal is to remove 10 numerical goals by the end of the month

The circus was told by a consultant to do fool-proofing. They sprayed the tents. The clowns ran off.

They put up a sign at NASCAR saying , “Do it right the first time”. Big mistake.
 
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K

Kwilson

#2
thank you

Those are amazing, everyone in the office think I've completely lost it, I'm all alone in my office laughing hysterically.

Thanks
 
T

travlinman

#3
Pretty darn funny Rob. I have had the day from Hades and really enjoyed the chance to smile a bit. Thanks. :applause:
 
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