Jokes - An eldery patient gets hearing aids from a doctor

C

ConorAngelo

#1
Old Man

An eldery patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After short time, he meets the doctor again.
Doctor, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased."
Patient, "Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven't told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I've changed my will three times!"
;)
 
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C

ConorAngelo

#2
Re: Jokes

The Man of your House

Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.'
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'
His Sicilian wife Gina replied, "The ******* funeral director would be my first guess." :yes:
 
C

ConorAngelo

#3
Re: Jokes

WHAT???

Son: Hey mom can I play Xbox?
Mom: ****, MARY IS COMING OVER AND I FORGOT TO CLEAN
Son: Excuse me? Mom?
Mom: huh, what??
Son: Can I play Xbox??
(doorbell)
Mom: WHAT DID YOU SAY???
Son: Mom I just wana play a little Xbox
Mom: WHEN IS YOUR SISTER GETTING HOME???
Son: She's upstairs on the phone?
Mom: ANSWER ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!
Son: Mom your hearing aid isnt turned up.....
Mom: WHAT?
Son: MOM UR ******* HEARING AID ISNT TURNED UP TURN IT THE **** UP AND CAN I PLAY SOME ******* XBOX JESUS CHRIST......oh and Marys here
:magic:.
 
C

ConorAngelo

#4
Re: Jokes

Husband Programmer

A wife tolds a husband (programmer) to go to supermarket saying: "Go for buns and if they have eggs as well, take 10 of them." Husband goes to the shop and asks: "Do you have eggs?" Salesman : "Yes, of course" Husband: "Well, so give me 10 buns, please."

I hope you understand this joke
:lol:
 

Mikishots

Trusted Information Resource
#5
Re: Jokes

Husband Programmer

A wife tolds a husband (programmer) to go to supermarket saying: "Go for buns and if they have eggs as well, take 10 of them." Husband goes to the shop and asks: "Do you have eggs?" Salesman : "Yes, of course" Husband: "Well, so give me 10 buns, please."

I hope you understand this joke
:lol:
There must be some interesting arguments in that household.
 
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