Wes Bucey
Prophet of Profit
Intriguing heading for a thread? Maybe not, but it sure is accurate.
Every once in a while I get an email advertisement for a "career seminar" from some outfit that charges relatively low fees for helping some folks learn stuff about improving chances to get employed, stay employed, or get promoted. A lot of our readers already know this stuff, but I see enough posts and private messages from other folks who don't have a clue to realize we can help everyone by reinforcing the knowledge for those who know or think they know and especially for those who don't even suspect all the things they do or don't do on the job that imperils their longevity on the job.
Here's the deal:
From time to time, I'll start a thread that lays out the basic outline of one of these "improvement seminars" and then folks can ask questions in the thread or send me private messages for me to post the questions for them so they can remain anonymous. It will be like a slow motion seminar, except it will be FREE, not $100 or $500 like the ones offered via email.
Today's theme: "Keeping your cool means keeping your job"
When we finish with this thread (not just the first post), whether in a social or work situation, each reader will have the tools and techniques to
Before we begin, make an honest comparison of your present life with the items on the list - do one or more of those points seem to be missing from your life? Ask yourself if adding one or more of those attributes and characteristics to YOUR public persona would have prevented some nastiness in the past or might improve your chances for success in the future? If the answer is yes, read on. If not, you're already perfect, so don't waste your time - move on to another thread!
Here's one at random:
Respond with a level head — even if you're ready to "blow a fuse"
There is a large contingent of folks in the world who think they are successful because they are bullies and intimidate others by shouting, threats of economic or physical harm, or by throwing tantrums which frighten their victims. Essentially, a tantrum is the natural province of a two year toddler who wants his own way. What may be cute once or twice wears on the soul when it is repeated in every situation. Worse, in a business situation, it takes up time and time is always money. No boss wants to waste money dealing with someone who wastes his time or coworkers' time by disrupting the workplace by acting like a two-year old. They reason: if the guy acts like a two-year-old in this situation, he probably doesn't reason too well on other things important to the job. I probably should either fire him or stick him off in a dead end corner where he won't disrupt things too much, at least until I can find someone to replace him.
Throw a tantrum with a would-be girlfriend and she'll decide to move on to someone else. Throw a tantrum with a rich aunt and she'll leave you out of her will.
If you look through the list and can't determine the negative impacts of doing the opposite of the good characteristics and attributes of each one, tell us and we'll help you understand.
I often use the stale phrase, "Knowledge is power!" simply because it is true and conveys the message succinctly. If one has knowledge of the ramifications of an action, one can shape the outcome of a situation by crafting the actions to produce the desired outcome. It's true in manufacturing processes and just as true in interpersonal relationships with bosses, colleagues, subordinates, suppliers, customers, family, friends, and neighbors. For this "seminar" to work for you, you have to believe that a desired outcome is the natural result of applying certain actions to affect a situation. The more you learn and practice these actions, the more likely you will apply them instinctively to each new situation which arises.
Steps to knowledge
So the first step to knowledge is to understand and believe that every action has ramifications. The second step is to identify the general range of ramifications that will accompany each action. The third step is to match the actions with the situations to produce the desired outcome.
Implementing the knowledge
Let's take another random item and examine the kinds of situations where it might apply and how it might be beneficial to exhibit or display such characteristic.
Bring more discipline into your personal life — creating healthier routines and relationships
(This is an item I spent 30 years preaching and not following. For the middle 30 years of my life (after being a high school and college jock), the only thing I exercised was my imagination.)
In my own case, I got the health and exercise bug back when I was in my middle 50s. Now I am an instructor in a water aquacize class five mornings a week. I also do two hours a week of land-based aerobics and weight training. I find I have more energy and stamina than I had ten years ago.
That extra energy pays off in maintaining mental alertness in crucial business and social situations. (Nobody wants a date, a spouse, or an employee who can't stay alert during the task at hand.) Same thing goes if you have an abusive spouse or partner at home - folks may have sympathy, but they get apprehensive with each lie told to explain a bruise, a black eye, or a broken arm. That apprehension leads to wanting to separate from that unpleasantness - which explains why so many abused spouses seem to have difficulties holding a job. Similarly, if you hang out with lowlifes who get into trouble with the law or other lowlifes, their troubles can often spill over into your life.
Enough with the downsides and the "whys" - give us some "hows!"
Right! If you don't understand WHY on any item, just ask!
Every once in a while I get an email advertisement for a "career seminar" from some outfit that charges relatively low fees for helping some folks learn stuff about improving chances to get employed, stay employed, or get promoted. A lot of our readers already know this stuff, but I see enough posts and private messages from other folks who don't have a clue to realize we can help everyone by reinforcing the knowledge for those who know or think they know and especially for those who don't even suspect all the things they do or don't do on the job that imperils their longevity on the job.
Here's the deal:
From time to time, I'll start a thread that lays out the basic outline of one of these "improvement seminars" and then folks can ask questions in the thread or send me private messages for me to post the questions for them so they can remain anonymous. It will be like a slow motion seminar, except it will be FREE, not $100 or $500 like the ones offered via email.
Today's theme: "Keeping your cool means keeping your job"
When we finish with this thread (not just the first post), whether in a social or work situation, each reader will have the tools and techniques to
- Respond with a level head — even if you're ready to "blow a fuse"
- Adapt to workplace or lifestyle changes — even those that are tough to swallow
- Stick with difficult challenges when solutions don't come easily
- Follow through on plans ... turn "good intentions" into reality ... and meet more goals
- Develop the steady self-control it takes to stand up for yourself and deal with conflicts positively
- Break social and on-the-job habits that hurt you, like procrastination, disorganization, and others
- Bring more discipline into your personal life — creating healthier routines and relationships
Before we begin, make an honest comparison of your present life with the items on the list - do one or more of those points seem to be missing from your life? Ask yourself if adding one or more of those attributes and characteristics to YOUR public persona would have prevented some nastiness in the past or might improve your chances for success in the future? If the answer is yes, read on. If not, you're already perfect, so don't waste your time - move on to another thread!
Why do the negative displays of these items have such a negative impact on the people who matter to your success in business or social situations?
Here's one at random:
Respond with a level head — even if you're ready to "blow a fuse"
There is a large contingent of folks in the world who think they are successful because they are bullies and intimidate others by shouting, threats of economic or physical harm, or by throwing tantrums which frighten their victims. Essentially, a tantrum is the natural province of a two year toddler who wants his own way. What may be cute once or twice wears on the soul when it is repeated in every situation. Worse, in a business situation, it takes up time and time is always money. No boss wants to waste money dealing with someone who wastes his time or coworkers' time by disrupting the workplace by acting like a two-year old. They reason: if the guy acts like a two-year-old in this situation, he probably doesn't reason too well on other things important to the job. I probably should either fire him or stick him off in a dead end corner where he won't disrupt things too much, at least until I can find someone to replace him.
Throw a tantrum with a would-be girlfriend and she'll decide to move on to someone else. Throw a tantrum with a rich aunt and she'll leave you out of her will.
If you look through the list and can't determine the negative impacts of doing the opposite of the good characteristics and attributes of each one, tell us and we'll help you understand.
I often use the stale phrase, "Knowledge is power!" simply because it is true and conveys the message succinctly. If one has knowledge of the ramifications of an action, one can shape the outcome of a situation by crafting the actions to produce the desired outcome. It's true in manufacturing processes and just as true in interpersonal relationships with bosses, colleagues, subordinates, suppliers, customers, family, friends, and neighbors. For this "seminar" to work for you, you have to believe that a desired outcome is the natural result of applying certain actions to affect a situation. The more you learn and practice these actions, the more likely you will apply them instinctively to each new situation which arises.
Steps to knowledge
So the first step to knowledge is to understand and believe that every action has ramifications. The second step is to identify the general range of ramifications that will accompany each action. The third step is to match the actions with the situations to produce the desired outcome.
Implementing the knowledge
Let's take another random item and examine the kinds of situations where it might apply and how it might be beneficial to exhibit or display such characteristic.
Bring more discipline into your personal life — creating healthier routines and relationships
(This is an item I spent 30 years preaching and not following. For the middle 30 years of my life (after being a high school and college jock), the only thing I exercised was my imagination.)
In my own case, I got the health and exercise bug back when I was in my middle 50s. Now I am an instructor in a water aquacize class five mornings a week. I also do two hours a week of land-based aerobics and weight training. I find I have more energy and stamina than I had ten years ago.
That extra energy pays off in maintaining mental alertness in crucial business and social situations. (Nobody wants a date, a spouse, or an employee who can't stay alert during the task at hand.) Same thing goes if you have an abusive spouse or partner at home - folks may have sympathy, but they get apprehensive with each lie told to explain a bruise, a black eye, or a broken arm. That apprehension leads to wanting to separate from that unpleasantness - which explains why so many abused spouses seem to have difficulties holding a job. Similarly, if you hang out with lowlifes who get into trouble with the law or other lowlifes, their troubles can often spill over into your life.
Enough with the downsides and the "whys" - give us some "hows!"
Right! If you don't understand WHY on any item, just ask!
- Respond with a level head — even if you're ready to "blow a fuse"
The key is to take a deep breath (count to 10, if you like) and say to yourself, "What action do I need to take to turn this situation to my advantage instead of merely venting my anger and frustration?" (If you have a plan, much of the frustration will disappear.)
- Adapt to workplace or lifestyle changes — even those that are tough to swallow
Most folks misunderstand Darwin's Theory of Evolution and wrongly cite it as "Survival of the strongest" when, in fact, the most adaptable species are the ones that proliferate and expand into every available niche (especially dandelions, rats, cockroaches, and humans!) Keep thinking - "Adapt or die!" (Remember, sometimes adaptability means inventing a tool to facilitate the adaptation - clothes, air conditioning, houses, furnaces, etc., not just evolving a physical change in body type.)
- Stick with difficult challenges when solutions don't come easily
Nobody wants a quitter as a leader - if it was easy, every one would do it. Learn problem solving techniques and apply them. don't hesitate to collaborate with others who can contribute to your success - loners don't rise to the top and they sure don't have successful social relations!
- Follow through on plans ... turn "good intentions" into reality ... and meet more goals
Probably the most pitiful phrases in the human lexicon begin, "If I would've . . . OR "I could've . . . " The worst one, of course, begins, "I should've . . ."
- Develop the steady self-control it takes to stand up for yourself and deal with conflicts positively
Being a bully is a no-no, but so is being a patsy or a pushover. Not many people find themselves in this category, but if you recognize yourself as a continual patsy, always being taken advantage of, you may need some professional counseling in "Assertiveness Training." I once developed an entire curriculum for Assertiveness Training, but the college and I dumped the course after one semester because we found the truly timid were too timid to put themselves in a public class and really needed one-on-one guidance. Psychologists do that much better than seminar leaders. We did have success, albeit small, with bullies, whom we helped steer to a more middle ground of assertiveness from aggressiveness.
- Break social and on-the-job habits that hurt you, like procrastination, disorganization, and others
There may be thousands of books, courses, and tip sheets on how to organize your time and your things. The key to success in all of those sources is that first you have to recognize that such bad habits affect you negatively. Secondly, you have to WANT to change (all bad habits have the same stumbling block - smoking, drinking, gambling, messiness, etc. have high recidivism rates simply because many of those people who return to the habit never really wanted to stop because they liked the high of the habit. Finally, you have to realize it is an ongoing process, not "once and done!" Often, there are outside factors which are contributing factors to the habit and barriers to quitting. It's pretty tough to quit smoking if your spouse lights up across the breakfast table. Part of getting released from the habit means identifying those contributing factors and eliminating or neutralizing them. - Bring more discipline into your personal life — creating healthier routines and relationships
The one thing I discovered for myself and may not be true for everyone is that being part of a group where members give each other moral support makes it much easier to continue an improvement program for a longer period than working by oneself in isolation. At the gym where I work out, we often talk about the narcissists and the obsessive-compulsive disorder victims who avoid any personal interaction with other folks, but only seem to show for a month or two before they are no longer seen, whereas the social ones come for years and have smiles on their faces as they work out instead of gritted teeth. So, part of the healthier routine is developing and maintaining friendly and healthy relationships. Knowing how to be friendly in a social situation goes a long way toward learning how to be friendly and sociable in a work situation and thus contributes to successful collaborations.
