Mensa Invitational - The Word Game

V

Valeri

#1
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate's disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an REDACTED
 
Elsmar Forum Sponsor

Wes Bucey

Quite Involved in Discussions
#3
This IS funny stuff. The following is not meant to detract from its humor at all, merely to clarify the original source.


This list is not "2005 OR 2006 winners." Some of them were the winners of one of the weekly (not annual) Washington Post Style Invitationals in 1998. To see them, go to the link below and scroll down past "This week's contest" to "Report from week 278":
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/invitational/invit980802.htm

I'm vaguely aware we dealt with this particular "email stuffer" some time back. I, for one, would be interested in having our own little "game" since WP has not renewed or resurfaced the contest yet.

I know some bosses who are slimilar to each other (similarly slimy)
 

Wes Bucey

Quite Involved in Discussions
#4
proverbial (change "o" to "e") = preverbial
something that came before talking (or even, presumably, before thinking.)

three (add "e") = threee
a visual cue to how many

messiness (change "n" to "m") = messimess
really messy

careless (drop and "e") = carless
What you end up if you are careless when driving

mature (change "t" to "m") = manure
what growing old really is
 
C

caspar

#6
metapoor - When you realise that you only remember the first half of the expression you just launched into.

floatulence - The reason why abalone divers don't eat bran.

inslurgent - One who rises up, but only after a few beers.

mootivated - By the time you start caring, it probably won't be important.
 

Tim Folkerts

Super Moderator
#7
Hey, this is kind of fun....


Manufracturing - producing parts with unsightly cracks

Attributte - a characteristic that has plateaued at a new, higher level..

Benchmurking - comparisons that only cloud the issues.

Anulysis - studying a problems, but finding no answer.

Balanced Scarecard - your company is only weeks away from bankruptcy

Gape Analysis - studying your coworker's reaction to a Balanced Scarecard

Quality Controll - using brute force to make imporvements

Deflects per Millions Opportunities - how well you hide problems

Hisstogram - a bar chart where each item is represented by a snake

Poison Distribution - the shape usualy seen on a Hisstogram

Interquartile rage - anger felt by students taking statistics

Linear Relationslip - when all but one points fall on a perfectly straight line

Masher Black Belt - a six sigma expert who makes things worse

Multiple Reguession - trying many random approaches for solving a problem

Rot Cause Analysis - don't keep food in the back of the refrigerator for a month

eX-Bar - where average divorced people go for a drink.
 

Wes Bucey

Quite Involved in Discussions
#8
Way to go, Tim!
Most of these should be submitted to QP for a humor piece!
Tim Folkerts said:
Masher Black Belt - a six sigma expert who makes things worse
OR
sexist Six Sigma expert

Sox Stigma = Quality guy with bad foot hygiene
 

Tim Folkerts

Super Moderator
#10
Some of these are a bit of a stretch, but I was on a roll....


2 Simple T-Test - when you should have done ANOVA instead.

Wishbone Diagram - how to get the asnwer you want

Coast-Benefit Analysis - should I call in sick today and to go to the beach?

Baldridge Award - given to quality engineers with hairless, pointy heads (the second "d" was added, in case you missed it.)

Cost of Pour Quality - visiting an up-scale bar

Rrr!-Bar - where pirates go for a drink

Sea-Chart - how pirates navigate to the Rrr!-Bar

Greed Belt - a person who gets certified just to get a promotion

Special Clause Variation - defects induced by lawyers

Mathemagical - relating to the mysterious reports from the company statistician.

Parento Diagram - a compellation of how kids most often get in trouble

Taguchi Lost Function - Genichi doesn't get the recognition he deserves

Cusstomers - people who keep adding new requirements while expecting lower prices.


Tim F
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
E Fun with words - Mensa Invitational challenge Funny Stuff - Jokes and Humour 6
C Mensa IQ Test Funny Stuff - Jokes and Humour 12
J Gear Surface Finish - Print with the word "calibrated" Manufacturing and Related Processes 2
S Issuing of CoC to Customer in a Word or Excel format ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 7
B AS9110 Audit Check Sheet wanted Excel or Word Document AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 2
A Usable version of MDR in Word format CE Marking (Conformité Européene) / CB Scheme 0
Y Excel Automation - Printing Word Documents from within Excel Excel .xls Spreadsheet Templates and Tools 0
qualprod NC if word "development" stated in Policy? ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 11
E Definition Integrity - The meaning of the word INTEGRITY in ISO 13485 Control of Records Definitions, Acronyms, Abbreviations and Interpretations Listed Alphabetically 6
J How to understand the word "include" in IATF 16949 IATF 16949 - Automotive Quality Systems Standard 2
Q Including the Word "Risk" into the Quality Policy (ISO 9001:2015)? ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 4
T Parts Lists - Use of the word "off" against Quantity Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 2
J Does the word "claim" in ISO 9001 Clause 8.2.2 mean "requirement"? ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 7
N Microsoft Word - How to make high-light go away after text is put in Excel .xls Spreadsheet Templates and Tools 5
J Keyboard issue in Word - Making me nuts Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 5
S FDA Forms 482, 483 and 484 - MS Word documents US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) 6
D Scope of ISO 13485 Certification needs the word Production. ISO 13485:2016 - Medical Device Quality Management Systems 9
somashekar Word for the Weekend ~~~ Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 2
S Critical Characteristics of a Word Processor and Excel Software Quality Assurance 2
T "Typing name on MS.Word directly" can be "Electronic Approval Signature" Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 3
M The definition of the word Invalid as in "Password Invalid" Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 7
Manix Exporting Data from MS Access to MS Word or MS Excel Templates Quality Assurance and Compliance Software Tools and Solutions 5
K Definition Audit - Time for a new definition of the word Audit? Definitions, Acronyms, Abbreviations and Interpretations Listed Alphabetically 15
K Verification, Validation or Checking? Definition of the word "Checked" Inspection, Prints (Drawings), Testing, Sampling and Related Topics 6
V Disabling Copy Paste option in MS Word After Work and Weekend Discussion Topics 30
M Can the same form number be in Word and Excel for ISIR's and such? Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 9
M Converting PowerPoint Presentations into MS Word Documents After Work and Weekend Discussion Topics 6
V Use of the word 'identification number' instead of 'identification code' ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 4
T Controlled Documents - Can a word document and excel spreadsheet be controlled? Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 5
michellemmm Pagination in Microsoft Word Documents Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 21
H AS9101D Microsoft Word Format: Worth It? AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 2
J Document Format vs Content Revision - Form changed from MS Word to MS Excel Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 7
S Post Market Surveillance SOP - Word Version EU Medical Device Regulations 42
E Signature of Records - Microsoft Word forms Records and Data - Quality, Legal and Other Evidence 7
U New Part 21.137 Quality Manual format example in Word format Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) Standards and Requirements 5
R AS9016 - Notice of Change template in either Word or Excel AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 2
J What's the meaning of word "map" (Map these requirements with your implemented QMS)? ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 22
G Is there an AS9100C to AS9100B word for word comparison chart yet? AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 11
M Requirements for Changing Documentation to correct typos or wrong word selection Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 15
SteelMaiden Today's word: Frisbeetarianism Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 9
B Question about the word "Design" in AS9100 Clause 8.3 AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 1
N What is the Latin word for 'Layered'? Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 12
V Updating Quality Manual - Adding the word Statutory in front of laws and regulations Quality Management System (QMS) Manuals 3
D Microsoft Word problems Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 11
P Revision History in an MS Word document Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 37
J Where to Purchase an MS Word version of ISO 9001 ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 28
A How to do Process Flow Charting in MS Word Process Maps, Process Mapping and Turtle Diagrams 15
I Essential Requirements for Medical Devices - Word copy wanted EU Medical Device Regulations 4
T DPMO (defects per million opportunities) - Key word being OPPORTUNITIES Six Sigma 9
T Accountability… A good word or a bad word... Imported Legacy Blogs 2

Similar threads

Top Bottom