Oil Change, Kentucky and Other Humour

S

Silbil

#1
25 Signs that you've had too much technology

I'm sort of a newbie to this eminent group, I guess I should start out sending some serious contribution. But what the hell! Here goes:

25 Signs that you've had too much technology

1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your
family of three.
3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's
time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom,
"What's for dinner?"
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web
site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from
South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next
door neighbor yet this year.
6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken
noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
7. You check your blow-dryer to see if it's Y2K
compliant.
8. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking
you to send her a JPEGfile of your newborn so she can
create a screen saver.
9. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell
phone to see if anyone is home.
10. Every commercial on television has a website
address at the bottom of the screen.
11. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of
date and now sells for half the price you paid.
12. The concept of using real money, instead of credit
or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast
food bags out of the back seat of your car.
14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family
is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully
slow.
16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing
cabinet.
17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored
Post-it notes.
18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of
in person.
19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone
calls.
20. You turn off your Modem and get this awful
feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved
one.
21. You get up in morning and go online before getting
your coffee.
22. You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and
check your E-mail on your way back to bed.
23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.:)
24. You're reading this.
25. Even worse; you're going to forward it.


The worst is ... it's true!

:bigwave:

Sylvie
 
Elsmar Forum Sponsor
A

Al Dyer

#3
Re: 25 Signs that you've had too much technology

I freely but somewhat shamefully admit to the following:

13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast
food bags out of the back seat of your car.

15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully
slow.

19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone
calls.

20. You turn off your Modem and get this awful
feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved
one.

21. You get up in morning and go online before getting
your coffee.

22. You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and
check your E-mail on your way back to bed.


;)
 
G

Greg Maggard

#5
:) :D :p :biglaugh: :vfunny:

That is me to a "T". Great contribution to the cause. My closest 300 e-mail pals will like this.

We live in the forth dimension!
 
K

Ken K

#7
I'm in the backseat SteelMaiden!

How true they all are. I have not talked to my boss since December 20th. Wonder if he still works here...gee I should send him a email!
 
L

Laura M

#8
How about 26

26. You spend one full 8 hour day working at a client and come home to and hour of catching up on the Cove!

Been a busy day here - love this post. I'm at least 20. My dining room is still a dining room and I don't check email in the middle of the nite!
 
G

Greg Maggard

#9
Your From Kentucky If......

>-YOUR FROM KENTUCKY IF...
>
>
>The real people from KY will understand this.
>
>Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the
>highway.
>
>"Vacation" means going to King's Island.
>
>You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
>
>You measure distance in minutes.
>
>You know several people who have hit a deer.
>
>You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
>
>You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
>
>Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
>
>You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
>
>You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no
>matter what time of the year.
>
>You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
>Example:
>"Whar's my coat at?" or "Whar ye been to?".
>
>All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
>grain, or animal.
>
>You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
>unlocked.
>
>You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
>
>You own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
>
>Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
>
>You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
>
>The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page,
>but
>requires 6 pages for sports.
>
>You think that deer season is a national holiday.
>
>You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
>
>You know if another Kentuckian is from Eastern, Western, or Northern
>Kentucky as soon as they open their mouth.
>
>There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
>
>When asked the four major food groups, you answer:
>"Grease, sugar, cornmeal, and liquor."
>
>You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your friends (&
>family!).
:bonk:
 
E

Edith

#10
cats, and what else?

That's good!!!

I won' touch that with a 10ft pole!! :vfunny:

By the way Laura, no I'm not a red head, but always wish I was. I guess that Jessica is the closest thing I'll ever get to it!

I guess you are?

Have a good one:thedeal: :vfunny:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
C Change Control Plan/Procedure for Slickline/Wireline Services (Oil Field) Quality Manager and Management Related Issues 1
T Clause for Maintenance - Periodic Maintenance Activity (Oil change) Internal Auditing 4
R Auto oil change engine problem Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 12
Claes Gefvenberg Abrupt climate change and oil at US$80 per barrel within 20 years? Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 10
GURU SDI Rust preventive oil mixed with kerosene Problem Solving, Root Cause Fault and Failure Analysis 2
Crimpshrine13 Analysis of Cold Forming Lubrication Oil Reliability Analysis - Predictions, Testing and Standards 1
S MDS (Material Declaration Sheet) Reporting for Volatile Solvent in oil RoHS, REACH, ELV, IMDS and Restricted Substances 1
E Lean Manufacturing in Oil & Gas Industry Lean in Manufacturing and Service Industries 4
L Oil Field Bearing Production PPM Standard Benchmarking 2
J Back to the Cove - Oil and Gas Industry Oil and Gas Industry Standards and Regulations 1
Johnnymo62 What oil do I use for our Starrett 3814 Hardness Tester? General Measurement Device and Calibration Topics 1
J External Laboratory in ISO/TS 16949 - Maintenance oil samples IATF 16949 - Automotive Quality Systems Standard 3
D Transformer Oil Analysis - Help with a a Duval's Triangle Preventive Action and Continuous Improvement 3
B Oil and Gas Engineering Consultancy Auditing Internal Auditing 3
M Supplier PPAP for Interim Materials - Oil to test functionality of finished product IATF 16949 - Automotive Quality Systems Standard 4
R How to Inspect the Weld Strength of High Pressure Vessel & Oil Pipe Line Inspection, Prints (Drawings), Testing, Sampling and Related Topics 2
M Identification and Traceability for Oil & Gas Production ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 9
AnaMariaVR2 Widening Battle: Middle East Cyberattacks Target Oil Producers and U.S. Banks World News 0
M Shelf Life of Mineral Oil USP (put on cutting burrs before shipping) Manufacturing and Related Processes 19
W Customer Satisfaction Surveys in Oil Industry Customer Complaints 8
W Applying ISO 9001 Clause 7.3 in Special Case - Oil Refinery ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 12
D Help with ISO 9001 Implementation in Oil Industry ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 12
L API Q2 Specification - QMS (Oil & Gas Industry Aftermarket) Oil and Gas Industry Standards and Regulations 70
Marc Fresh oil slicks forming over Deepwater Horizon site World News 2
N Customer Waste Management Responsibility - Packing Materials & Conservation Oil? Miscellaneous Environmental Standards and EMS Related Discussions 4
A Transocean Execs Get Bonuses after ?Best Year in Safety,? Despite Gulf Oil Disaster. World News 1
T Uncertainty Measurement on Kinematic Viscosity of Fuel Oil General Measurement Device and Calibration Topics 1
L Customer Inquiry - Graph showing the expansion of oil (mm) at different temperatures Service Industry Specific Topics 5
T Skip Lot Sampling Plans (SkSP) - Oil for Trans Fatty Acid Content Inspection, Prints (Drawings), Testing, Sampling and Related Topics 6
S Penetrant, Type I, Method A - ASTM-E1417 (Content of oil/grease in cleaning water) Manufacturing and Related Processes 1
L What is OS1634/2004? Customer from OMAN buying Lubricating Oil IATF 16949 - Automotive Quality Systems Standard 2
M Plastics Material Grades - What is 15FV Guard oil? Manufacturing and Related Processes 2
J Oil & Gas industry - ISO 9001 Compliance - Rental Tool Company Quality Management System (QMS) Manuals 12
B PSI vs kPa and 35 kPa oil pressure as opposed to 35 kPa air pressure Manufacturing and Related Processes 3
D Regulation on Bioresorbable Oil Residue Level on Medical Device 21 CFR Part 820 - US FDA Quality System Regulations (QSR) 3
R Method for Dew Point and Oil content - Qualifying our Compressed Air System (CAS) Qualification and Validation (including 21 CFR Part 11) 7
S Oil and Gas Audit - What are the basic skills needed for an auditor Internal Auditing 9
K QMS Manual Format and some more help - Oil field company ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 3
S Fish Oil Capsule Weight MSA (Measurement Systems Analysis) Gage R&R (GR&R) and MSA (Measurement Systems Analysis) 9
M Mechanical Maintenance Procedures for Oil & Gas wanted Document Control Systems, Procedures, Forms and Templates 4
J Adoption of ISO/TS 29001 or API Q1 - Oil Exploration Company Oil and Gas Industry Standards and Regulations 3
5 Do you know a portable hydraulic oil analyzer? Inspection, Prints (Drawings), Testing, Sampling and Related Topics 1
A Feed Contractor (Oil and Gas) Audit/Technical Performance Appraisal Service Industry Specific Topics 0
W Application of Statistics/ SPC tools in Oil Refineries Statistical Analysis Tools, Techniques and SPC 11
Howard Atkins Agassi, Renault Nissan & Israel announce project for oil-independent country - 2008 World News 2
Marc 10 Great Snake-Oil Gadgets Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 3
N Fuel Prices Linked to the Oil Market World News 5
N Fuel Prices Link To The Oil Market - The Oil Tree World News 4
Manix Roller coaster ahead for oil prices World News 2
H Lean in Refinery and Oil Field Operations Lean in Manufacturing and Service Industries 7

Similar threads

Top Bottom