Old QMS... NEW QM.. I don't know where to start

Jen Kirley

Quality and Auditing Expert
Leader
Admin
Hey all

for some reason i never received notifications on updates to my thread, so im sorry i have not said thanks any quicker..

i would like to personally thank everyone who has tried to help and advise me..

i have been doing a lot of thinking and i have come to the conclusion i cannot do this any more.. i am updating my CV and moving on, i want to work for a company who's shows interest in what i do and trying to achieve, my soul has been well and truly destroyed over the past few years and i cant do it any more... i am filling in audits without auditing people because they can never make time for me, when i do, do an audit the procedure is either wrong the the area i am auditing are just doing their own thing and EVERYONE expects me to be the one to sort it out... they say well its up to you to make sure our purchasing procedure is right and up to date, you should be monitoring every think everyone does to make sure they are doing it right (not just an internal audit) and this is for 5 companies and not including the rest of the group..

so to conclude... i have total lack of confidence in my abilities and feel i should not be in this job, i cannot do it and the people around me do not care about the quality system thats what im here for not them so i have had enough.... i want out of here as soon as i can before i have some kind of break down because i am constantly tired, stressed and my head is just a MESS i cannot focus, im thinking about everything all the time day and night... ITS KILLING ME..

I really admire everyone who has posted on here and its great to hear your success stories but im afraid mine wont be one..

Thanks again

Chris
When you look back on this you may find a reason to feel the experience has been a productive one. But in my experience that only happens when one can look back on it, through the lenses of time, recovery and perspective. When I did that and found sme of the same nonsense in subsequent posts, I learned two critical things: it wasn't my imagination, and it wasn't my fault. Once I decided that I could detach just enough to not lose my sense of self respect.

Onward to better things. I have known a number of QA and Safety professionals who have reached this place, and moved on because there just wasn't anything more they could do. So it is.

Please let us know how it goes for you. We're rooting for you!
 

chris_gray1980

Involved In Discussions
Thanks for the nice kind words of encouragement.. To be honest at the moment I'm extremely low, there are very few local jobs that I can apply for plus I have a company car so would need to buy a car, etc, etc endless hassle..

The way I feel at the moment I don't think I'm capable enough to take on a 'proper job' so am I better hiding behind the mess and keep being ignored?

I have thought about doing a bit of local consulting aimed at small uncertified local businesses and help the gain certification but I just don't have the confidence or feel I have enough experience.. Everything is so cloudy I don't know which way to turn :(

I need and want to do something but I have no idea how or where to begin, I have zero motivation, I'm not sleeping so I'm always tired and the two mixed together are a killer :(

Thanks again everyone

Chris
 

Jen Kirley

Quality and Auditing Expert
Leader
Admin
These are difficult times Chris, and I expect a lot of people feel quite a bit as you do. In tough times we need to get creative and apply some out-of-the-box thinking.

I understand that while the for-profit sector still struggles, non-profits are expanding. And don't forget Corporate Social Responsibility, for which I see a number of job listings.

I have found volunteering to be helpful on both personal and professional levels. Volunteer work can become part of one's resume and could lead to new opportunities through networking. I found my work with the state version of the Malcom Baldrige Quality Award to be enormously energizing and mind-expanding. I see Chartered Quality Institute seems to be near you, and I wonder if it is a portal for rewarding volunteer work maybe or even more.

When we feel bad it can help to reach out. I am glad you reached out here. You are among allies. Maybe you can find some closer to home, as well. Why don't you check out the CQI or other organizations like it?

My best to you! Please let us know how it goes.
:bighug:
 
J

JaneB

Chris,
I know what you mean - I've been in a very similar place myself, where a really bad experience at work which I kept thinking I could /should cope with eventually ended up in me not coping big time. Hence my next comment: some of what you say may (emphasise may) indicate the signs of clinical depression. I say 'clinical depression' to differentiate it from just feeling down or feeling blue. Some of the warning signs: feeling really low, lacking motivation, lacking appetite (eg, for food or other pleasures, including sex), difficulty sleeping, feeling tired, etc.

If you are there, or getting close to it, it's nigh impossible to get out of it without some professional help. It might well be worth going to your friendly local doctor with this in mind. There are also some very good self-diagnosis questionnaires in net-land which could help you rule it in/out.
For example, this beyond blue one.

Oh, and even some good threads in this very forum on how to deal with it. ;)

The way I feel at the moment I don't think I'm capable enough to take on a 'proper job' so am I better hiding behind the mess and keep being ignored?
You're better doing whatever you need to do to take good care of yourself until you get better. I'm so sorry to hear this - it's really horrible when caring so much but being in a no-win/no can-do situation puts so much pressure on and leads to something like this.
PS It's not you being 'weak' or 'incapable'.
 

chris_gray1980

Involved In Discussions
Hi Jennifer and Jane,

Thank you for your responces, its always nice to hear some encourangement and you two really are full of it :eek:

i do know of the Chartered Quality Institute, i have received their magazines in the past.. unfortunately their members fees are a bit out of my reach at the moment. volunteer work does sound very rewarding but im just not sure when i would find the time to do it and with my enthusiasm levels being so low im not sure i would be any good at it..

if im honest Jane i think you have hit the nail on the head, i do unfortunately and i despise the fact but i have a history of depression, i have seen countless psychologists been on the horrid pills etc... i have been 'clean' shall we say since December last year but im not sure im coping so well.. but i really dont want to go back on the pills or down that road again because i dont want to be that person, i want to be so called 'normal' and just get on and enjoy my life.. i have been trying herbal remedies for a bit now to try and boost my serotonin and aid in better sleep so my natural levels of serotonin can replenish, but they dont seem to work for me.. my parter just cant understand why im so unhappy all the time and why i hate life and she blames her self... its bloody horrible and im fed up with it... why cant i just get on with life, enjoy what i have and enjoy 'trying' to make a career for myself..

So looks like i have zero option but to go to the doctors, that will be a joke, they will just palm me off with pills because everyone has depresion these days and that will be that, i will be a pill head again.. surely there has to be a better way than going down this road :(

any way, i better stop there im annoying myself and this is a Quality Assurance Forum :frust:

Thanks again :thanks:

Chris
 
J

JaneB

Chris,
I feel for you.
But depression is an illness, not a character weakness!

The way I see it these days is that, if you have clinical depression, then you're ill. And wanting to be 'normal' or not wanting to take pills is perhaps about as effective - and useful!! - as a diabetic wanting the same without the injections. Or someone with hypertension not wanting to take medication. etc etc. Been there, done that, doesn't work. (At least for me).

It's a matter of brain chemistry - when one has depression (I have a predisposition to it too, so believe me, I know whereof I speak!) if pills get you back to normal... I'd take the pills. Essentially, it becomes a matter when the alternative (not taking them) is far, far worse.

Perhaps it would be OK if you weren't in such a yuk work situation. But you are. And it isn't.

I'd do whatever it takes to get your brain chemistry back to normal. Because until the depression lifts and your mood changes and you get stabilised, everything, but everything will be miserable and overwhelming. I know that too.

When I have been in the midst of a severe attack of depression, life was so bleak, so black, so unutterably horrible and miserable and dreadful, and the future so black... I coudln't understand why or how other people could smile even. Didn't they know Life Was Quite Awful? Always Had Been? And Always Would Be? I found it inordinately difficult to even dredge up one reason to go on living. Now that I don't, I cannot quite believe/remember that I ever felt like that. But I know I did. Please - get help! And please, again, don't fall into the trap of thinking that depression = weakness/abnormality/whatever. It's an illness, dammit! Invisible, yes, but still real. (And I know, that if I were ever given the choice between a physical illness or a nasty accident, say, breaking several bones in my body or an attack of depression, I'd take the first, every time, because having your own mind become your enemy is just awful..

And yes, it's a quality forum, but it's full of people. Like all of us. And people like to help.

Hang in there. Fake it 'till you make it. Lean on your partner/friends/family... it's a time when you most need other people but least 'feel' like being around them.
 

lmartin4164

Registered
Just to complicate things, one of teh companies i manage is a recent acquisition and their system is totally different, their QM quit and they have not replaced him, these also have a separate MD who you cannot pin down he is all over the world.. but this has to be my worse company because they have had ISO forced upon them and they retaliate at everything.. i want to avoid major NCR but at the same time i think that getting a couple from the external auditor will give them a reality check.. i am currently making a stance and refusing to bring them under the multi-site approval until they have a re-think BUT they are only interested in making money and not spending it so i doubt that will happen any time soon.
Chris,
It seems that you are in the same shoes I am. But at least my System works.
Just a suggestion: Did you try to do an internal audit all around your departments? The findings should point you in the right direction. At least you will have a starting point.
 

harry

Trusted Information Resource
.......................Did you try to do an internal audit all around your departments? The findings should point you in the right direction. At least you will have a starting point.

Welcome to the Cove.

You are in my camp. As the saying goes: You can't get to where you want without knowing where you are now. A quick audit is one of the easiest way to find out where one is now and with that knowledge, one can start to plan all the necessary moves to get to where he wants.
 

Jen Kirley

Quality and Auditing Expert
Leader
Admin
Chris,
It seems that you are in the same shoes I am. But at least my System works.
Just a suggestion: Did you try to do an internal audit all around your departments? The findings should point you in the right direction. At least you will have a starting point.
Welcome to the Cove! :bigwave: Your advice is sensible on a number of levels, including getting a viewpoint of the difference between what used to be acceptable/recognized as an issue/etc (you fill in the blank) and what you have noticed with a "fresh pair of eyes".

I hope to see you around some more!
 
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