Well, however it would be good to know some background information (who is the targeted audience, what are the key messages), this presentation gave a following simple messages for me:
- this is something about processes (

)
- it is sofisticated,
- somehow relates to improvement,
- I should do, idoknowyet, something in context with it,
- it relates to customer satisfaction.
As an introductory presentation, i think it stands well, and not killing people with details, so sum it up, it is a good, not over-killing marketing like presentation with simple messages.
I only would add a message about process documentation for the management, because I tend to believe the process documentation not only for operation level contributors.
Regards
Sz.