Re-Defining Quality Contest - Thinking Outside of the QC Glossary

F

Factoring Humans

#1
Quality Digest Magazine is sponsoring the contest below:

Try thinking outside the QC glossary. Take a quality term and then add, subtract, or change one letter of it. (You may only make one of those changes per word.) Give it a new definition. Send your terms to [email protected]. We'll publish the three best definitions next month and ask you to vote on the winner. The winner will receive a TomTom GPS. Contest ends May 25.

Here are some examples to get you started. Good luck!

1. Stadistical: Inflicting complicated equations on a captive audience
2. Root clause analysis: Trying to figure out which section of a standard is the most confusing.
3. Dimention: A particularly brainless suggestion made at a meeting.


 
Elsmar Forum Sponsor

Tim Folkerts

Super Moderator
#5
I posted a bunch of these here a few years ago. I'll have to submit them to the contest :)

Quality Improvemint – unrealistically expecting that superficial changes will fix a product that leaves a bad taste in your mouth.


Manufracturing - producing parts with unsightly cracks

Attributte - a characteristic that has plateaued at a new, higher level

Benchmurking - comparisons that only cloud the issues

Anulysis - studying a problems, but finding no answer

Balanced Scarecard - your company is only weeks away from bankruptcy

Gape Analysis - studying your coworker's reaction to a Balanced Scarecard

Quality Controll - using brute force to make improvements

Deflects per Millions Opportunities - how well you hide problems

Hisstogram - a bar chart where each item is represented by a snake

Poison Distribution - the shape usually seen on a Hisstogram

Interquartile rage - anger felt by students taking statistics

Linear Relationslip - when all but one points fall on a perfectly straight line

Multiple Reguession - trying many random approaches for solving a problem

Rot Cause Analysis - don't keep food in the back of the refrigerator for a month

eX-Bar - where average divorced people go for a drink.


2 Simple T-Test - when you should have done a more sophisticated statistical test instead.

Wishbone Diagram - a method for reaching the conclusion you had hoped for.

Coast-Benefit Analysis - should I call in sick today and to go to the beach?

Greed Belt - a person who gets certified just to get a promotion


Blank Belt – a person who gives the impression of knowledge, but really doesn’t have a clue.

Slack Belt – a person who is an expert at goofing off.

Flack Belt – a person who is always getting blamed for everything.

Masher Black Belt - a person who is an expert at making things worse

Masker Black Belt - a person who is an expert at hiding problems

Special Clause Variation - defects induced by lawyers

Mathemagician – a person with a mystical ability to analyze data.

Cusstomers - people who keep adding new requirements while expecting lower prices.


Tact Time – how much time you have to spend talking nicely to the people around you to keep things running smoothly.

Basteline - the outer limits of normal operations. If you cross over this line, your goose is cooked.


See the thread here: Warped Quality Definitions - Looking for your anecdotes
 
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