Secondary (Some Humor from 2004ish) TOS - Circa 2004/2005


Hunkered Down for the Duration
Staff member
Darn... I forgot these.....

The Usual Legal Stuff

All auditors believe different things are relative and right. All registration firms believe different things are relative and right. This site is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Push down while squeezing top. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Don't even think of parking here. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat/dog(s), horses or pigs. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this freely but you may not make a profit from it. Unless you give me some of that profit. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Not sold in stores! Your results may vary! Not responsible for any consequential or inconsequential, trivial or non-trivial, or any other kind of loss or damage that may result before or after use! I never promised you a rose garden! Available only on this web site! Use yesterday for best results! 50% of all profits donated to my cat! If you are not the intended recipient of this humor, please put on a blindfold before reading! Do not use a portable telephone while swimming! I love my gal pal! Look both ways before crossing! Warning - electric toaster may get hot! This document is uncontrolled if printed on paper! All words are guaranteed to be formed using only genuine ASCII characters! Send $100 Now! Life is hazardous to your health! Sign up now for our anti-drug prevention program! Our tests show that about half of all results are above average! Remove windscreen cover before driving! Our quality policy includes the words 'six' and 'sigma'! Call in the next five minutes before something happens! Not valid with this or any other offer! Caveat emptor. Article is provided "as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. No right turn on red. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not required. Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). For Simon Higgs... no Elvis sightings made here. Breaking this seal voids your warranty. Close cover before striking. 80,000 km or 3 years, which ever comes first. Not legal for trade. No-one can improve on the original, but here are some to masticate. No reply is considered as accepted. Soluble in water? Do not ingest. Vomiting may occur. Local exhaust ventilation required. Dispose of in accordance with local, state& federal regulations. Immediately flush eyes for 15 minutes in clear running water. Do not induce vomiting. (May occur anyway) Seek medical attention immediately. Keep sealed to prevent drying or moisture loss. Use care to avoid falls. Store upright. Contact your System Administrator (SysAdmin). Refrigerate after opening.

Other restrictions may apply.

This supersedes all previous notices.
Elsmar Forum Sponsor


Hunkered Down for the Duration
Staff member
Re: TOS (Terms of Service) - Elsmar Cove Forum Registration and Use TOS

As a reminder, we DO have the TOS location very prominently shown. There is an entire forum which has the TOS and forum policies. It is the FIRST forum in the list for a visitor (registered and unregistered) on the forum home page. I do not think we have reached the point where we have to make it so that no one can even view the forum (as an extreme) without the TOS being shown.

I know when the mod which checked for the number of posts and would not allow someone to put in an email address or web site link was disabled, things did change a bit as to more discussions about 'One Post Wonders' putting in a plug for their web site / product / services. But, the mod is now again turned on so I think we'll move back to the 'this isn't a serious issue' status.

Right now I think it's more important to make sure the TOS content is clear and appropriate than to put links to it everywhere.


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