Seeking help in writing marketing message

[biboy2012]

I just accepted a Business Development role from a start-up internet/software company. Said company was founded to create a safe and interactive portal for families with the focus of enabling online presence of the kids by allowing moderation of what is shared by and with the kids.

My responsibilities are the ff:
- Expand Company's userbase in ASEAN region,
- Support top management in augmenting sales strategies and targets,
- Implement preconceived sales development strategies,
- Develop new sales relationships to increase business volume,
- Identify and exploit business opportunities,
- Bring in new customers while retaining existing ones, and
- Support the company's international business planning.

Initially, I was tasked to focus on increasing user base in Philippines. I believe that a big factor to achieve large volume of sign ups is the strength of the message. I am thinking of writing some e-blasts or promotional messages and spread them via social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, etc. to provide information about our products (games, sketch applications etc). The message should be strong or convincing enough that warrants passing on/signing up.

Not sure if this line I made is a catchy one:

"Did you know there is a new sketch apps? The features are great.

URL Removed to remove confusion.

I will greatly appreciate any comments and critiques to improve my marketing message. If you have suggestions or examples of attractive announcements, please share them with me. The easiest and fastest way to inform the mass public on the Internet via social networking class the better. Do you have any idea about other innovative approaches other than social networking class?

Thank you in advance!

 

[AndyN]

Since the Cove is primarily Management Systems orientated, you might do better to find a marketing group on Linkedin and post there!

 

[biboy2012]

Since the Cove is primarily Management Systems orientated, you might do better to find a marketing group on Linkedin and post there!

Yes, I understand you, Andy, and I'll do that. I will look for a purely marketing oriented site. I decided to post it here because I have high regard for Covers. However, I still want to ask questions here based on actual work-related problems that I face. I would like others to explain them to me, share thoughts, etc if that's okay. I hope I am not asking too much. This site (The Cove) has been very helpful to me. Covers always provide good answers to my questions. That is why whenever I have new questions I check back frequently for the best response.

 

[somashekar]

Yes, I understand you, Andy, and I'll do that. I will look for a purely marketing oriented site. I decided to post it here because I have high regard for Covers. However, I still want to ask questions here based on actual work-related problems that I face. I would like others to explain them to me, share thoughts, etc if that's okay. I hope I am not asking too much. This site (The Cove) has been very helpful to me. Covers always provide good answers to my questions. That is why whenever I have new questions I check back frequently for the best response.

Welcome to the Elsmar Cove!
Business Systems and Business Standards Discussions and Information

This is our welcome line.
Come here as many times and get the best of many responses that you can get.
Our best wishes with you ....

 

[biboy2012]

My attempt:

Need FREE games right now? Plenty of apps to choose from, check out our website at ____, or join using Facebook by clicking ____.



Is that sufficient?

 

[Jen Kirley]

I am sorry, if I was comfortable with marketing I would have given more serious thought to becoming a consultant on my own.

 

[Ajit Basrur]

My attempt:

Need FREE games right now? Plenty of apps to choose from, check out our website at ____, or join using Facebook by clicking ____.

Is that sufficient?

Dear biboy ... check with marketing consultant or branding experts and they should be able to give you the right guidance.

 

[BradM]

I just accepted a Business Development role from a start-up internet/software company. Said company was founded to create a safe and interactive portal for families with the focus of enabling online presence of the kids by allowing moderation of what is shared by and with the kids.

Ok... so any marketing message that you implement should be focused directly (or indirectly) towards the core competency (which is in the quoted line above).

Initially, I was tasked to focus on increasing user base in Philippines. The message should be strong or convincing enough that warrants passing on/signing up.

Now... I certainly am willing to help and throw out whatever ideas I can come up with. However... I really do think you should attempt to develop focus groups within your target group. Consider... I am a while, middle age, conservative guy 45 years old, in quality, with a 16 year old and 13 year kid, living in Texas. My opinion regarding a catchy slogan... is probably not going to be as accurate as that from my counterpart (or as close to thereof) in the Philippines. Remember thy audience.

Not sure if this line I made is a catchy one:

"Did you know there is a new sketch apps? The features are great.

This is not meaning to criticize, but so you understand what my impression was. I don't know what a sketch app is. So, either I am not part of your target market (your target market would be familiar with that phrase), or maybe the phrase should be re-considered. Too (and this is just me...) when I see generic phrases like "the features are great", I move on. That's like on FaceBook when I see "click like if....", I automatically move on.

I suggest you look at the Filter Settings available with Windows 7. I got my daughter a laptop and was setting up her profile. The flexibility was incredible. I have Procon Latte as an add-on with Firefox, but it's very "all or none". It filters a lot of sites that I would not necessarily need it to filter, if the preferences were a bit more robust.

Consider the word "violence". Do limit the word? There are a lot of educational matter that may use the word violence that would be fine for me. So being able to filter "sites that frequently contain violence is better than just a simple filter like "sites that contain violence". That may not be the best example, but hopefully it makes my point somewhat.

 

[somashekar]

Do you have any idea about other innovative approaches other than social networking class?

Getting some space to print on local toffee wrappers which are very popular among kids (your target group)
Providing catchy book labels (sticker type) free that has your required info on them.
Participation in some kids events (sponsoring school day and annual sports activities) or putting up your small stall offering goodies and promoting and having your audio visual running. Having your color pamphlet distributed free in kids stalls, toy stalls, book stalls, any public events, inside magazines and news papers .....

 

[biboy2012]

I am sorry, if I was comfortable with marketing I would have given more serious thought to becoming a consultant on my own.

It's ok. I am working for them pro-bono as Business Dev. I want to help them succed because they gave me, a 32 years old, a break.

Ok... so any marketing message that you implement should be focused directly (or indirectly) towards the core competency (which is in the quoted line above).

Here's the e-blast I made based from your advice. I'd like to request for comments before I launch this promotional messge. This will be transmitted via social media e.g. facebook, twitter etc.

These are the best of the times and the worst of times for kids to be online.
Find out how [company name] can help.
Instant Signup: go to (website)and just provide a username/password.
Signup Using Facebook: go to (website) and click on 'Signup using facebook and no need to fill up any form.
When you access any of our Facebook application, you are registered automatically;
1. Make you drawings/sketches: (site/link)
2. Draw outline sketch of any pic: (site/link)
3. A low intensity quiz: (website/link)