Superchris, about it just being controlling a supplier.
OK, if you say so.
Sometimes controlling suppliers is more involved than other times.
I think that most of your problem is a lack of understanding of what special processes are, why they need to be validated, and how they can be validated. Let me try to explain.
Special processes are those that you cannot tell the quality or outcome from monitoring or measuring. Validation is performed to demonstrate the ability of the process to achieve planned results.
How can you determine if it has the ability to meet planned results if you cannot monitor or measure it?
Let's take the example of a fire sprinkler. You cannot tell if it will work without heating it and setting it off. Once you do that it cannot be sold as it has already been consumed.
Now you can validate it by determining exactly how to build it by building them over and over again and destructively testing them until you determine exactly how to do it so that the results are repeatable. By then you have determine the exact process or "recipe" that can provide repeatability.
Monitoring that process, (the recipe) the exact materials, exact quantities, exact times, exact temperatures, and so on can provide validation of that process.
Another example is welding, the one you are involved with.
Welding is usually validated by certifying the welder. The quality of a weld cannot be determined without destructive testing. The weld is pulled apart to determine if the break forms at the weld or from the parent material. If it pulls from the weld, it was not properly joined. Since you cannot use a weld that was destructively tested, the welder is trained and then he welds samples that are sent to a lab for various testing including destructive testing. If the welds pass, the welder is certified. This is a bit of an oversimplification as it does not cover the extensive training. Also, the certification is specific to the material, thickness, type of joint, and position of weld (gravity effects the weld puddle so overhead, side, and flat are all different).
To control a supplier for special processes can entail confirming that the welder is certified and his certification covers the type of welding you are having performed.
For plating it can be from the supplier certifying that he followed a specific MIL spec (the "recipe").
For either one you may want visit the supplier and confirm that they actually have the ability to perform what you are after.