The Elsmar Cove "Humour Thread" - CAUTION - 'Big Kid' Content

J

Jim Biz

#41
Marc - Fyi
A close Friend uses it in her office meetings as well - (using their own buzz words of course ) but with an added twist
when someone in the group "scores a bingo" they "noticeably clear their throat" so everyone -playing the game knows what happened - the "presenter" never catches on. :bigwave:
 
Elsmar Forum Sponsor

Marc

Hunkered Down for the Duration with a Mask on...
Staff member
Admin
#42
I've Done Been Educated Again!

I'm trying to remember where I first saw it (read: where I stole it). I remember I freaked out and put it into a web page. I was just learning to do tables in html.

What struck me that hadn't before was energy's post. I have to admit I never really thought of actually passing them out in a meeting. I thought to myself WoW! Am I stupid. That's a great idea to 'temper' a meeting. Then when Jim posted his post I hadn't thought about - well, everyone having one and knowing what's going on except the presenter.

This needs to be put into a format which people can put on their PDA's!
 

E Wall

Just Me!
Super Moderator
#43
Bingo!

This was passed around our staff over a year ago, but I lost my copy. I'm sure I could make one up, but this is one time I'm not feeling very creative and would love it if one of you would (if you can) post the file as an attachment here.

Thanks~Eileen
 
L

Laura M

#45
Variation on it

I loved BS bingo - and created a variation of it for a light hearted QS overview with a laid back client.

1st - one way to get folks interested in a meeting is to have food - so M&M's were the markers.

I created a blank bingo board, put a list of QS terms on the overhead and had people create their own bingo card (so everyone didn't Yell at once)

I had all the essential terms....Quality Policy, Management Responsibility, Job Instructions, Level 2 Documents....words you would expect to say in an overview. I think I even had more than the # of spaces so they could pick.

Anyway - then I just went about my training, and they were to cover a space when they heard a word I said. So at least they were listening! Some even tried leading questions to get me to say their last word.

It ended up being alot of fun (although I wasn't sure how "queer" they would think it was) - Depends on the company personality. At this one it worked. Others I wouldn't try it.
 
#46
Class Evaluations

Those of you who have read some of my posts realize that like sooooo many of us here, I tend to see the brighter (lighter?) side of things. I try to inject humor in my classes when applicable. Anyone who has taught a class on the requirements of ISO 9001, or other document can attest to the difficulty to teach the “shalls”.

This sometimes has some unusual effects. I had one person actually formally complain because he felt that QS-9000 is too important to use humor! Sometimes the humor comes back at me as well. I recently had a participant put on the end of class “smile sheet” (class evaluation), that of all the classes she has ever attended, mine was by far the most recent! She did not mean the most up-to-date, she meant recent.

I would be really interested in what others have either written, or received on course evaluations.

Dave B (the other Dave)
 

Randy

Super Moderator
#47
I've been using Buzz Word Bingo for years. The 1st time I had contact with it was at a Command meeting full of Army officers. The military is chock full of Buzz Words, acronyms and all that stuff. :biglaugh:
 

E Wall

Just Me!
Super Moderator
#48
Thank You Marc!

I appreciate the expedience of your reply!

Too bad they had me helping out in the warehouse...so it took 'til now to see it!

I plan on creating one for 'Internal Auditing' for use during my next training class (which lasts 4 days + they are graded on both a written test as well as participation and performance of an internal audit that I lead), which I think will be a great ice-breaker as well as helping to hold their attention. I love the M&M idea, and I'll come up with some non-food reward (that they will want to compete for) for Bingo's.

Thanks for all the ideas!
 
K

Ken K

#49
Chili Cook offs


Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

"Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.

Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bimbo is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
garlic.Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I messed myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone!

Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of a lava-like substance to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all,
not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot.
Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?


FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)
 
M

Michael T

#50
Thanks Ken... I was laughing so hard co-workers were starting to give me funny looks... Frank's comments on Chili #5 were the kicker...



:vfunny: :biglaugh: :ko:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Marc GDPR - EU Directive 2016/679 and the Elsmar Cove Discussion Forum Elsmar Cove Forum ToS and Forum Policies 3
N When they make the movie " Elsmar Cove " .... After Work and Weekend Discussion Topics 17
BradM Why I am so appreciative of the Elsmar Cove Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 7
Marc Plagiarism in Elsmar Cove Forum Posts Elsmar Cove Forum ToS and Forum Policies 0
M Thank you Marc and the Elsmar Cove Moderators and Members! Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 10
BradM The Greatness of Elsmar Cove Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 1
B Any forum at par with Elsmar Cove for Network and System Administration? ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 6
somashekar Father of Elsmar Cove hits second SILVER Covegratulations 16
N Elsmar Cove Forum - What an amazing place Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 8
K Is reading the Elsmar Cove a legitimate work related activity Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 19
somashekar ~~ The Elsmar Cove Birthday - Online for 17 years! ~~ Covegratulations 16
Richard Regalado Elsmar Cove BCP - Continuity of the forum when disaster strikes Business Continuity & Resiliency Planning (BCRP) 11
H Happy Birthday to the Elsmar Cove Forum - January 2012 Covegratulations 25
harrysons Thanks to Elsmar Cove - Successful TS16949:2009 Certification Covegratulations 10
BradM Happy Birthday Elsmar Cove!! 15 Years old Covegratulations 44
G What should an Elsmar Cove X-mas tree look like? Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 1
J What Has The Elsmar Cove Done For You?? Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 30
H Elsmar Cove Statistics Found Online Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 2
S Quality Policy - What is the Elsmar Cove's Quality Policy? Elsmar Cove Forum ToS and Forum Policies 8
P What is the meaning of your Elsmar Cove Forum User Name? Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 58
B In terms of age, who are the youngest and oldest Elsmar Cove forum members? Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 112
somashekar Elsmar Cove reference in your CV 's ... Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 8
N Cabot Cove vs. Elsmar Cove Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 7
Marc Privacy - Elsmar Cove Privacy Policy and Statement Elsmar Cove Forum ToS and Forum Policies 0
Marc Privacy Policy - Elsmar Cove Privacy (and Cookie) Policy - 090405 Elsmar Cove Forum ToS and Forum Policies 4
ScottK Elsmar Cove iPhone users After Work and Weekend Discussion Topics 39
BradM The Elsmar Cove Coffee Shop Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 359
Coury Ferguson Happy Birthday Elsmar Cove - 13 years online Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 19
Marc General Elsmar Cove Forum Participation Rules and Guidelines Elsmar Cove Forum ToS and Forum Policies 22
Marc Your Opinions and thoughts about the Elsmar Cove forum - Why do you visit the forum? Forum News and General Information 50
D ASQ Members in Elsmar Cove ASQ, ANAB, UKAS, IAF, IRCA, Exemplar Global and Related Organizations 64
Marc Elsmar Cove 'Sparklers' Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 24
hogheavenfarm LinkedIn users-Elsmar Cove Group formed Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 37
Marc If the Elsmar Cove Forums and Web Site was Yours, What would you do to Improve? Forum News and General Information 59
Paul Simpson Would the Elsmar Cove be on your CV / Resume? Career and Occupation Discussions 26
B Elsmar Cove Forum Graphics Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 5
RoxaneB Elsmar Cove Sparklers - A Free Wellness and Healthy Lifestyle Resource Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 5
E Memorable moments on the ELSMAR COVE Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 45
J Would you recommend the Elsmar Cove to your Certification Body (CB) auditor? Career and Occupation Discussions 35
Ajit Basrur The number of ISO13485 posts in the Elsmar Cove forums ISO 13485:2016 - Medical Device Quality Management Systems 12
Ajit Basrur Starting the Elsmar Cove - The Elsmar Cove Forum History Forum News and General Information 2
Marc The Elsmar Cove Wiki Questions Discussion Thread Forum News and General Information 50
Scott Catron Elsmar Cove Quality Assurance BOK (Body of Knowledge) Wiki Forum News and General Information 82
Marc Elsmar Cove Forums Link Listed in Wikipedia.org Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 6
Tim Folkerts Elsmar Cove Anagrams Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 44
W Is a reading room a good idea for the Elsmar Cove? The Reading Room 40
D Is there is a forum like The Elsmar Cove for AS9100? Book, Video, Blog and Web Site Reviews and Recommendations 2
Marc TOS (Terms of Service) - Elsmar Cove Forum Registration and Use TOS Elsmar Cove Forum ToS and Forum Policies 2
Marc Quality Digest 2004 Salary Survey - Yearly Elsmar Cove Poll - Where do YOU stand? Career and Occupation Discussions 17
Wes Bucey Attitudes and Intimidation in Elsmar Cove forum Posts Elsmar Cove Forum ToS and Forum Policies 62

Similar threads

Top Bottom