The Female Demerit System

G

Groo3

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

It is possible to get points here...
You answer - What fat? (+5)
You answer - What fat? and really mean it (+50)


COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+5000)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

:lol: She got me a new plaque to put up in the bedroom... "My wife says I don't listen to her... at least that's what I think she said".

the bonus points...
She talks about shoes for more than 30 minutes, you don't fall asleep, you are able to ask knowledgeable questions about the type of shoe, the style, the manufacturer, the best color for specific outfits, quote the best price at a local store, and suggest that after work we should go by and see if they have a couple pairs in stock and she should get a few different colors (+1,000,000,000,000)

I think one trillion points is pretty fair for that one... I'm still working on staying awake when she talks about shoes. :lol:
 
A

arios

Last weekend my wife and I reached 17 years of happy marriage. I think we have learned many things about each other on this journey, and have been blessed with 3 kids (3 so far, we haven't had a "closing meeting" yet).

I thank God for my wife. She has learned how to be patient with me, but still she yells at me once in a while, but no so loud, at least my neighbors never complain. I guess mutual rebukes are part of marriage and one needs to "get used" to them to maintain a good relationship, and over all let love prevail.
 
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Chennaiite

Never-say-die
Trusted Information Resource
Last weekend my wife and I reached 17 years of happy marriage. I think we have learned many things about each other on this journey, and have been blessed with 3 kids (3 so far, we haven't had a "closing meeting" yet).

I thank God for my wife. She has learned how to be patient with me, but still she yells at me once in a while, but no so loud, at least my neighbors never complain. I guess mutual rebukes are part of marriage and one needs to "get used" to them to maintain a good relationship, and over all let love prevail.

My belated Congratulations, Alberto-san.
Long way to go for me, But under the circumstance I would tighten my ears so that I dont give myself opportunity to retaliate.:notme:
 

BradM

Leader
Admin
It is possible to get points here...
You answer - What fat? (+5)
You answer - What fat? and really mean it (+50)

Hmmm.... good observations. I'll have to mark those down for use.:agree1:


:lol: She got me a new plaque to put up in the bedroom... "My wife says I don't listen to her... at least that's what I think she said".

the bonus points...
She talks about shoes for more than 30 minutes, you don't fall asleep, you are able to ask knowledgeable questions about the type of shoe, the style, the manufacturer, the best color for specific outfits, quote the best price at a local store, and suggest that after work we should go by and see if they have a couple pairs in stock and she should get a few different colors (+1,000,000,000,000)

The wife has never been real big on fashions and stuff. My points come from listening to her dreams. The woman wakes up and will spend 15 minutes, in glorious technicolor, telling me every facet of the dream she had.

I think one trillion points is pretty fair for that one... I'm still working on staying awake when she talks about shoes. :lol:

Well....if you're not awake, then you're not getting any points!:tg::lmao:
 
[Palmer] "My wife and I dated 2 yrs, lived together 10 yrs and married 24 yrs.


I am so far in the negative it will take another 35-36 years just to break even.

Do you think that's why so many men in their 70's-80's cater to their wives? Making up for negative points"

Doesnt matter , in the end its still a zero-sum game.
 
G

Groo3

My points come from listening to her dreams. The woman wakes up and will spend 15 minutes, in glorious technicolor, telling me every facet of the dream she had.

Has she ever woken up and jamed her elbow in your ribs telling you she is really mad at you... When you ask why she did that, she tells you about the dream she had where you did something mean to her? :bonk: Yeah, my wife has done that to me once or twice...
I try to tell her not to watch those scary movies before bedtime.:nope:
Only positive TV before bedtime.:yes:
 
P

palmer

I snore terribly and sleep in an almost comatose state. As in very hard to wake from a deep sleep.

At one time early in our relationship I kept having sore ribs and bruises to various parts of my body.

She fessed up one day when the guilt got to her. She was knocking the crap out of me cause I was snoring and wouldn't wake to stop it.:lmao:

We found some snore aids and haven't had that issue since.:truce:

Also, back in the day, when we were intimate, she can't have pillows around. One time, she was in a frenetic state and had a couple of pillows trapped under her shoulders, she kept trying to fling them and kept hitting me with her arm and part of the pillow in the face. She was unaware of this and ended up blacking one eye and breaking my nose....:lmao::lmao:
 
Q

Quality-Geek

Have not heard from the women out there. They must be laughing at us.

Duh!!:D

In my book, he always got points for changing the diapers when I was sleeping, because he let me sleep and didn't complain about it!
 
Q

Quality-Geek

re: toilets
I've been lobbying for over 60 years (starting with my mom) that both genders should close the lid completely when finished (risk assessment) to reduce probability of unwanted objects (toys, combs, cats, dogs, little kids) from ending up in the toilet. No success yet!

My point status must be in negative territory.:mg:

Not in my house!! :whip:
We have a cat who has a bizarre liking for toilet water (eewww), and 2 small kids who are still working on flushing every time (eeewwww). The toilet get flushed for no apparent reason whenever I walk by the bathroom, and eeryone is trained to keep the lid down. After all, I don't want the cat to die from drinking dirty and/or bleached toilet water! It also kept the kids from playing in the toilet when they were exploring their mobility. :mg:
 
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