The Salt Lake City Olympics


Involved In Discussions
For those people considering a visit to the Salt Lake City Olympics, I offer this public service announcement:

Rules For Driving In Utah

1. A right lane construction closure is a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same cars to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.
2. Turn signals are clues as to your next move. It's important that you never use them.
3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
4. When in bumper-to-bumper traffic, when the guy in front of you stops, he's not breaking for a little old lady, he wants you to get out of the way so he can back into the parking spot to your immediate right.
5. Crossing two or more lanes at once is considered "going with the flow."
6. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
8. Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the last exit before the traffic begins to back up.
9. The electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information. They are only there to make Utah look high-tech and to distract you from seeing the Highway Patrol car parked in the median.
10. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to keep people entering the highway on their toes.
11. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are apparently not enforceable on I-15.
12. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean the guy in the BMW flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
13. Despite the signs and suggestions that slower traffic keep to the right, Utah common sense keeps everyone in the left lane so that no one can go faster than everyone else. This helps us maintain equality.
14. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush hour traffic in Utah.
15. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see someone changing a tire or getting a traffic ticket.
16. Throwing litter on the roads adds variety to the landscape, keeps the existing litter from getting lonely, and gives I-15 sanitation crews something to clean up.
17. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially pickup truck drivers.
18. Learn to swerve abruptly. I-15 is the home of high-speed slalom competition, thanks to the guys who drive 90 in the 65 MPH zones. This tests drivers' reflexes and keeps them paying attention.
19. It is traditional in Utah to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.
20. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.
21. In Utah there is no "right" of way, here we have "left" of way.
22. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.
23. Real I-15 women can put on pantyhose at 75 MPH. Real I-15 men can talk on their cell phone, shave, eat doughnuts, and keep one hand on the radio dial.
Elsmar Forum Sponsor


Gee, it sounds like the Utah drivers learned their skills from the good folks of Atlanta! And I thought their consultants were here only to learn how to put on the Olympics!!

Atlanta, home of I-285 (aka Atlanta Motor Speedway) and where the law of gross tonnage rules!
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
I Salt Spray Failures on Stainless steel fasteners Manufacturing and Related Processes 8
K Troubleshooting Salt Spray (ASTM B117) Manufacturing and Related Processes 2
B Guidance Required for Examining 168 Hour Salt Spray Test Samples Manufacturing and Related Processes 5
Q Salt spray test on anodic coating B117 vs NES M0140 Reliability Analysis - Predictions, Testing and Standards 2
R Salt spray per Mil-DTL-5541 coupons required 5 or 10 AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 3
A Salt Bath Probe Style SAT requirement Waiver per AMS 2750 Rev E Section 3.4.7 AS9100, IAQG, NADCAP and Aerospace related Standards and Requirements 1
J Salt Spray Failure Question (ASTM B 633 and B 117) Inspection, Prints (Drawings), Testing, Sampling and Related Topics 9
S Measurement Uncertainty for Neutral Salt Spray test to BS EN ISO 9227:2006 General Measurement Device and Calibration Topics 4
S How to maximize the use of a Calcium Salt Dust Collector Food Safety - ISO 22000, HACCP (21 CFR 120) 3
S Template for Product Specifications for Calcium Salt with the Chemical Composition Food Safety - ISO 22000, HACCP (21 CFR 120) 3
T Control Chart - Salt Spray Test Hours - Powder Coated Parts Statistical Analysis Tools, Techniques and SPC 3
S Salt spray test on nickel? Parts were plated to QQ-N-290 Manufacturing and Related Processes 5
J Salt Spray Test on 3 year old Zinc Die Casting Chromed part per ASTM B 117-03 Manufacturing and Related Processes 2
J 200 hour Salt Spray per ASTM B 117 - What should be reported? Inspection, Prints (Drawings), Testing, Sampling and Related Topics 6
P Found Blue Green Rust in Bolt after Salt Spray Testing Reliability Analysis - Predictions, Testing and Standards 11
C An Explanation of Salt Spray (Corrosion) Testing based on ASTM B117 Design and Development of Products and Processes 1
P Salt spray testing - Comparative corrosion data of 302 S26 vs Galvanised carbon steel Manufacturing and Related Processes 6
C Grammar Question - Please, pass the salt Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 15
Z Salt Spray Procedure to ASTM B 117-90 - Seeking Example Various Other Specifications, Standards, and related Requirements 8
P What are GM's requirements for Salt Spray Testing? General Measurement Device and Calibration Topics 1
A Uncertainty in Test - Durability test, High Performance, Salt Spray chambers, etc Measurement Uncertainty (MU) 5
V Salt spray testing procedure and training requirements - ASTM B-117? QS-9000 - American Automotive Manufacturers Standard 4
Marc Lake Mead Plunges To Lowest Level Ever - 2016 World News 10
S BBQ Eating around Lac St. Clair & Lake Michigan Travel - Hotels, Motels, Planes and Trains 7
Marc Lake disappears, baffling villagers World News 7
F Information on China's Medical City Other Medical Device Regulations World-Wide 4
somashekar Port city Visakhapatnam (Vizag) devastated in the cyclone Hudhud (INDIA) World News 6
Marc Ten City Maps from History Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 0
Q Dixon city comptroller ?misappropriated? more than $53 million World News 2
M City of L. A. Fabricators Exam - Study Information Manufacturing and Related Processes 2
S City & Guilds Quality Assurance exam preparation (June) - Guidance needed Professional Certifications and Degrees 6
somashekar Dabbawala of Mumbai city, India Book, Video, Blog and Web Site Reviews and Recommendations 5
A ISO 9001 in local public administration - A city hall ISO 9000, ISO 9001, and ISO 9004 Quality Management Systems Standards 21
A City Codes for 3166 Other ISO and International Standards and European Regulations 7
Marc Welcome to Circuit City, where stupidity is state of the art World News 24
Q Where I can pursue Quality related training near New York City? ISO 13485:2016 - Medical Device Quality Management Systems 6
Domoreto "Divergent" Certifications - Quality Assurance from City and Guilds of London vs. CQE Professional Certifications and Degrees 2
Sidney Vianna Para nuestros amigos de Mexico - RABQSA in Mexico City ASQ, ANAB, UKAS, IAF, IRCA, Exemplar Global and Related Organizations 6
B Advice please! Which European city would you recommend for a visit? Travel - Hotels, Motels, Planes and Trains 37
G Keeping Horses in the City Coffee Break and Water Cooler Discussions 13

Similar threads

Top Bottom