But you know, if something I say bothers you, I want to know. If my intent is truly not to offend, then I need to know so that I can avoid offense in the future.
Many feminists feel they need to say things like "and ladies" when someone yells "Hey you guys". In the beginning of feminist movements this was an important point - the mindset of the male workplace needed to change from the boy's club mentality. They used words like "girls" or "honey" in order to blatantly challenge the female presence in the work place and try to intimidate. Nowadays - not so much. Affirmative action caused us to change from "Mailman" to "Mail Carrier" for example.
When a man says to me "You're one of the guys" I cringe because he obviously equates certain qualities with "Maleness". Even though he meant it as a compliment - it is not really. Why can't I be self assured and competent without giving up my femininity?