What do you do when a family pet is dying from old age?

P

palmer

#1
Hello fellow Covers,

I have a cat who is 15 years old and is near death. We've watch him deteriorate over the last 10 months. We've taken him to the vet 3 times in that period of time and they can't find anything wrong with him and they say he is just getting old.

In the past, We've had several pets who we had to have put down because of an ailment, kidney failure, cancer, etc... In all of our years together (family with kids in their 20's now) this is the 1st pet who has not had an ailment other than old age and time to expire.

Crash, the pet I'm talking about, is a Maine Coon. He was a huge cat at one point weighing 18 pounds. Now, he is frail, maybe 8 pounds, skin and bones. Over the last month or two he has deteriorated rapidly. He eats sometimes, he is still functioning in bowel movements.

Yesterday, and last night, we've been on a death watch. He always hated going to the vet, throwing a fit everytime. You don't want him to suffer but there is no way to tell cause he can't tell you. Last vet visit, they said he has a very strong heart but is just getting old. He can barely move now, has that far away look in his eye, not sleeping just staring. We've moistened his mouth and made him as comfortable as possible.

The vet said it is hard to tell when a cat is suffering. They hide it. They'll purr when they have a broken leg or something worse. I just can't stand the thought of him suffering and we've let him stay home in familiar surroundings and let nature do its thing.

I have 10 more pets that I may go through this with... yes... we are extreme animal lovers and all of them are strays or rescued pets.

What do you do, what have you done, what would you do?

It's so damn heartbreaking....
 
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Marc

Hunkered Down for the Duration with a Mask on...
Staff member
Admin
#2
In the last 2 years my lady friend's cat and 2 of her 3 dogs have gotten sick (different old age problems) and she had to have the vet "put them down". Her remaining dog just went through surgery (at the cost of a couple of grand). She struggled with the question of whether to put her to sleep or to do the surgery in which case the dog could have died anyway. She did the surgery and the dog is doing well. All of her animals were "rescues" from when she lived in Arkansas years ago.

I'm writing this only because I've watched her go through this and as much as I feel for her, it's almost as hard on me knowing she's in such emotional distress. My heart goes out to you.
 

Wes Bucey

Quite Involved in Discussions
#3
When I was a boy growing up in the 40's and 50's, I spent a lot of time every summer (and some winters) on a huge farm in Kankakee County owned by relatives. The farm folks loved their pets (distinct from food animals), but they were very pragmatic - when any pet was in extremis (end of life), they didn't let it suffer to the very end because it would have been too distracting and painful for the family as well as the pet.

The pet cemetery next to the main house attested to the fact the animals were not merely discarded like a broken toy.

That experience pretty much formed my own philosophy and practice. I do not anthropomorphize pets and therefore feel justified in making decisions about them which put the comfort and well-being of humans above that of the pet. I'm not cruel and provided a humane end for my pets over the years when it was obvious their "quality of life" was at an end.

Most folks do not live in an area where larger pets can be interred on the property. For them, I suggest cremation and scattering of the ashes where the family could experience a sense of closure.

I commend you for being a "rescue" person. All my pets over the years were essentially "rescue" animals.
 
J

JAltmann

#4
Our last cat went thru a similar situation, in the end she had stopped eating and was acting much different than normal, this is when we knew it was time. With all the pets we have lost, we basically make an educated guess based on if they seem to be eating and functioning without pain.

When they seem to be suffering is when we make the tough decision. It isn't fair to make the animal suffer to spare ones feelings of pain from the loss. It is definately a judgement call when their is no clear problem that states now is the time. :(
 
B

Barry M

#5
I grew up on a rural farm in Indiana. Mind you, my parents raised goats, chickens, a couple of steers occasionally (for food purposes), and the cats and dogs. I was also in 4-H growing up, so I have had a life filled with the presence of animals. I currently have 3 dogs, of which 2 are rescues.

My philosophy has always been that whether by old age or by illness, the way i gauge my decision is if the particular pet is able to function and maintain it's quality of life. I ask myself if I would want to live the same way he or she is, and what I would want to do if it were me.

My heart goes out to you in such a difficult time, because I don't just think of my dogs as pets, I think of them as a part of my family.
 

somashekar

Staff member
Super Moderator
#6
It's so damn heartbreaking....
I share your feelings. Yes it is.
I have never had pets, but the attachment one can make with a pet over long years like what you have been with is no less than the attachment one has with the next of kin.
Can we not feel that deep inner satisfaction that the pet has lived its full life and that we have shared with it all our love and care. Eyes are the mirror of the heart. Can we not show in our eyes to the pet the same love and care even these times. Can our eyes not show the courage that says " I am with you and God is above all " ...
Can this be the time we realize that Time and Tide waits for none and be close to the pet as much as we can to give it the comfort. Can we make the last breaths the most calm for that mute pet who can speak the language of love in its own way. Can your eyes show Love, Care, Compassion, Courage and not shed a drop of tears >>>>>
I share my strength with you Palmer.
 
P

palmer

#7
We knew this time would come. The evening before last he ate a piece of fried chicken breast and some fried shrip that we had for dinner.

Yesterday morning he ate his partial can of food and drank water. Last evening and night is when he went downhill very fast although he was "wasting away" over the last few months.

We had been hoping he would go to sleep and not wake. Apparently that is not the case. This is the first time we have had a choice as to when and what to do with our pet. As long as he was eating and drinking and going to the restroom we figured to let him stay alive.

Last night was horrendous on us. We kept checking on him through the night to make sure he was comfortable and not in apparent discomfort. He still isn't showing signs of discomfort, just not moving other than to change positions and stare into space.

We almost put him down 6 weeks ago, thinking it was time and the "right thing to do". He rebounded, eating and drinking and getting around. So he lived another 6 weeks with our loving and caring for him. I don't begrudge that time but I hate seeing this part of it.

This has made us recall each of our grandfather's passing and their similar wasting away. Months passed as they slowly died. I remember her grandfather asking for a cigarette from the Hospice nurse and her saying no. My father-in-law found out and ripped her over that. Told her he was dying any way, whatever he wants he can have.

Amazing what we call humane yet how we aren't when it comes to humans. Putting an animal down is the humane thing to do but keeping a human alive for as long as possible regardless of pain and quality of life.

I'm not trying to go off topic but makes these things come to mind while going through this.

All of our pets are family members and have their own unique personalities. It's been a joy to have been a part of his and their lives. That's what makes this so heartwrenching
 
P

palmer

#8
Crash passed away about 20 minutes ago. My wife stayed home to care for him because we knew it would be some time today based on his condition.

Thank you for your responses.

Everyone has different outlooks on how they care for their pets and their attitude towards them. I think part of it is how you learned from your environment and part of it is how you develop your perception from time and experience.

In our case, our animals are part of the family and well cared for. At least we will have the memories of our experiences with him and how we loved him and he us, in his own way. I'm sure we'll regale each other with stories of his antics as we toss back a few in remembrance. You have to figue that he was a part of 30% of my life.

Now I have a dog who is going to make this journey within the next year, most likely. 12 years old, diabetic (yes, we give him insulin shots 2x a day) and almost completely blind from cataracts. A Schnauzer who acts like a family member, right down to his unique attitude.

This is the hard part of owning pets. They are part of your lives for a somewhat brief period but leave such lasting impressions.
 
#9
Sorry about Crash, Palmer.

Chloe was a 90 pound wonder rescue from the local animal shelter. She was a shepherd, Labrador, whatever mix. We fixed her breed as yellow dog. We loved her and she loved us for almost 13 years. In her last 12 months she started developing tumors all over her body, internal and external. She had started panting even though we were certain that she was not hot: a sure sign of pain in dogs. In late June she began to lose her footing and not be able to get up unaided. We couldn't stand watching this formerly joyous animal suffer so we had her euthanized and cremated. The day of the appointment with the vet, my youngest son spilled a bag of caramel popcorn and was trying to clean it up before Chloe had a feast. Mom said, "Let her enjoy it!" The boy took the hint and she had a last supper of cheeseburger, chips and popcorn.

Her ashes came with a small tag that included the following story. It better be true because it won't be Heaven without my dogs:
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
 
P

palmer

#10
If Rainbow Bridge is true my wife and I will be swarmed as many pets as we've had and have.

I had a cat, big cream colored Persian named Maximillian. I got him when he was 2. My Aunt lives in an affluent neighborhood where I got Max. She told me about Max when her neighbor tossed him out. He was neutered and had been declawed. She remarried and her new husband hated cats. So she tossed him out.

When I got him, his fur was matted and knotted to the point his skin was tearing. I got him and cleaned him up and fixed his fur and the tears. That cat was always near me when I was in the house. If I was watching TV, he was on my lap or next to me. I had him for almost 12 years when, one evening, he couldn't walk on his back legs. He was pulling himself around with his front legs.

Took him to emergency vet and x-rays showed he had cancer of the spine. We had him put down right then and there because they had to use a cathater to drain his bladder and surgery wouldn't guarantee anything. I never cried so hard in my life. He looked like a lion so we buried him under a tree and there is a paving stone over his grave with a small lion statue on it.:agree1:
 
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