I'm somewhat disappointed in this thread, as I'm a 3rd Party Registrar Auditor and I always try to be fair with the folks I've audited and not play games with people. Judging from the threads here (and some of the other threads noted), either my attitude toward my clients/ISO (I'm honest with you and I'm assuming you're honest with me) makes me a lone figure in my field or there is a lot of gameplaying going on and NOT necessarily by the 3rd Party Auditors.
I don't doubt people have had bad/interesting experiences and that there aren't 2-headed monster auditors out there, but when I read comments like consultants' encouraging their clients to be "ready to fight" (rather than discuss a point, like civilized professionals) or management reps seeing suspect boxes of material laying around and standing over them with a "long skirt" to hide it, it saddens me. I always tell my clients, your Registrar Auditor will not find all the weaknesses of a system, because we randomly sample within the time constraints of the audit and what areas we are scheduled to review. If a sites' management feels like they've "put one over on the Auditor", you're not hurting the Auditor....but you are hurting your own or your managements' credibility in the eyes of your employees (which could also account for some of the comments on the Cove, from folks that think ISO is a joke).
We, too, have our horror/funny stories about ISO audits; I'll share 2 with you.
1) During an audit of a facility, the Director was quite nervous throughout, particularly about how well the system was documented. At one point during the audit, Auditors found numerous out-of-date/critical documents in use. While the Auditor was pointing out these various documents,
as the Auditor was holding the Quality Manual in his hands, the Director was ripping out the pages in question and indicating that "that should resolve the problem". The moron had no comprehension of short term/long term corrective action and that correcting something on the spot doesn't negate the need for root cause analysis or PA, to make sure it doesn't happen again.

DUHHH!!! I, like some of you in this thread, had to stiffle a laugh. (Inspite of the Directors' "immediate corrective action", the site did not pass and required a second visit).
2) During a week long audit with 2 Auditors, on the first day, a Major NC was found (which would delay a recommendation to register the company, and require a follow-up visit). During the next 4 days, 7 more Major NC's were found. Every morning of this audit a "debrief" meeting was held with all management invited, to discuss the previous days' findings. While the MRep always attended, the President of the company, made a brief appearance on the first day and was clearly not interested and did not attend these daily debriefs (this predates the 2000 Std. which has put a great deal more emphasis on upper managment involvement). We, unsuspecting and non-game playing Auditors, as we were, relied on the MRep to keep the President posted (which the MRep told us, he had). At the closing meeting, we discovered that the MRep lacked both a spine and other typically male anatomy, when the President went ballistic (yes, that is the right word), and found out for the
first time that the site would not pass and would require a 2nd visit. Seems our MRep was not only NOT telling him about the MAJOR's, but told him everything was just fine!!! The closing meeting ended 2.5 hours later, as we couldn't leave the President or the site, until we had calmed everyone down and made our points (this should have been a 15 minute meeting, but the President spent most of the 2.5 hours yelling and blaming the Auditors and his own people, alternately). Throughout this 2.5 hours, the MRep literally stood in a corner, in the shadows :ca: and had to be invited to speak up to confirm what the Auditors had seen. What a jerk!! Talk about gameplaying. The "laugh" in this for the Auditors, was that we were not only grateful that we didn't work in that environment on a daily basis, but that after we had left, we found out the President had to barracade all 20 people in the room and continued his diatribe and ranting for another 2 hrs. (Frankly, it served them right, as we also found out, everyone knew what the MRep was doing and they figured the President would wear down the 2 Auditors and get the site passed...NOT).
Please keep in mind, if y'all are having a good laugh at our expense, after we've left your facility...just, maybe, we're having a good laugh, too!!
