What's the funniest thing you've ever seen during an audit?

L

Laura M

#21
For some reason - this thread is posting very 'wide' on my screen - where I have to use the bottom scroll bar to read. I wonder if its me or the thread (using Firefox.)
 
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R

Rob Nix

#22
Laura (and Marc?), I get the same thing - very difficult to read, panning so far right. I'm also using Firefox.
 

Jim Wynne

Staff member
Admin
#24
Cari Spears said:
This happens to me occasionally as well. This whole thread is not wide like that; only page two of it.
Ditto, and I'm using IE 6 here. It appears to be just an occassional failure of the browser to render the page properly, and can ususally be cured by closing the browser and restarting it.
 
J

jcbodie

#25
I'm somewhat disappointed in this thread, as I'm a 3rd Party Registrar Auditor and I always try to be fair with the folks I've audited and not play games with people. Judging from the threads here (and some of the other threads noted), either my attitude toward my clients/ISO (I'm honest with you and I'm assuming you're honest with me) makes me a lone figure in my field or there is a lot of gameplaying going on and NOT necessarily by the 3rd Party Auditors.

I don't doubt people have had bad/interesting experiences and that there aren't 2-headed monster auditors out there, but when I read comments like consultants' encouraging their clients to be "ready to fight" (rather than discuss a point, like civilized professionals) or management reps seeing suspect boxes of material laying around and standing over them with a "long skirt" to hide it, it saddens me. I always tell my clients, your Registrar Auditor will not find all the weaknesses of a system, because we randomly sample within the time constraints of the audit and what areas we are scheduled to review. If a sites' management feels like they've "put one over on the Auditor", you're not hurting the Auditor....but you are hurting your own or your managements' credibility in the eyes of your employees (which could also account for some of the comments on the Cove, from folks that think ISO is a joke).

We, too, have our horror/funny stories about ISO audits; I'll share 2 with you.

1) During an audit of a facility, the Director was quite nervous throughout, particularly about how well the system was documented. At one point during the audit, Auditors found numerous out-of-date/critical documents in use. While the Auditor was pointing out these various documents, as the Auditor was holding the Quality Manual in his hands, the Director was ripping out the pages in question and indicating that "that should resolve the problem". The moron had no comprehension of short term/long term corrective action and that correcting something on the spot doesn't negate the need for root cause analysis or PA, to make sure it doesn't happen again. :lmao: DUHHH!!! I, like some of you in this thread, had to stiffle a laugh. (Inspite of the Directors' "immediate corrective action", the site did not pass and required a second visit).

2) During a week long audit with 2 Auditors, on the first day, a Major NC was found (which would delay a recommendation to register the company, and require a follow-up visit). During the next 4 days, 7 more Major NC's were found. Every morning of this audit a "debrief" meeting was held with all management invited, to discuss the previous days' findings. While the MRep always attended, the President of the company, made a brief appearance on the first day and was clearly not interested and did not attend these daily debriefs (this predates the 2000 Std. which has put a great deal more emphasis on upper managment involvement). We, unsuspecting and non-game playing Auditors, as we were, relied on the MRep to keep the President posted (which the MRep told us, he had). At the closing meeting, we discovered that the MRep lacked both a spine and other typically male anatomy, when the President went ballistic (yes, that is the right word), and found out for the first time that the site would not pass and would require a 2nd visit. Seems our MRep was not only NOT telling him about the MAJOR's, but told him everything was just fine!!! The closing meeting ended 2.5 hours later, as we couldn't leave the President or the site, until we had calmed everyone down and made our points (this should have been a 15 minute meeting, but the President spent most of the 2.5 hours yelling and blaming the Auditors and his own people, alternately). Throughout this 2.5 hours, the MRep literally stood in a corner, in the shadows :ca: and had to be invited to speak up to confirm what the Auditors had seen. What a jerk!! Talk about gameplaying. The "laugh" in this for the Auditors, was that we were not only grateful that we didn't work in that environment on a daily basis, but that after we had left, we found out the President had to barracade all 20 people in the room and continued his diatribe and ranting for another 2 hrs. (Frankly, it served them right, as we also found out, everyone knew what the MRep was doing and they figured the President would wear down the 2 Auditors and get the site passed...NOT).

Please keep in mind, if y'all are having a good laugh at our expense, after we've left your facility...just, maybe, we're having a good laugh, too!! ;)
 
L

Laura M

#26
These do appear to be 'horror stories' not 'funny' but I think there is room for humor in a 'honest' and non-game playing situations. There are probably more stories similar to yours - can probably be found in a Dilbert somewhere - but that's the beauty of humor. If we can't take a look at the lighter side of things that happen in our job then its time to find a different job.
 
J

jmp4429

#27
It might not be that funny, but it was funny to me:

At one company, our external ISO 14001 auditor was an all right guy, but kind of smug and sometimes audited more based on opinion and less on the standard.

At one audit, we had him set up in the conference room with our business manual to check it for compliance before he hit the shop floor. He decided that we needed those light switch plate stickers that remind people to turn off the lights when they left a conference room. (I don’t even think those things are effective, but I digress). At that company, the culture was such that everyone always turned out the lights. It wasn’t a spoken thing, it just worked like that. I was deeply embarrassed the first time I was last one out of a conference room and a coworker came back to shut the lights off. After that, I never forgot again.

After a while, we were able to convince the auditor that they weren’t needed at our facility, and he decided not to write it up (I know, I know).

Once he was done with the desk bit of his audit, he came out of the conference room and said “Okay, I’m ready to go into the plant now.” Our EMR had to say “Sorry, but could you just run back and shut out the lights before we go?”

I wonder if that switch plate sticker would have reminded him? At first, I thought he was trying to make a point, until I saw the shade of crimson he turned when he went to kill the lights.
 
J

jcbodie

#29
Laura M said:
These do appear to be 'horror stories' not 'funny' but I think there is room for humor in a 'honest' and non-game playing situations. There are probably more stories similar to yours - can probably be found in a Dilbert somewhere - but that's the beauty of humor. If we can't take a look at the lighter side of things that happen in our job then its time to find a different job.

I agree, except when the laugh is at the expense of any person, in this case the auditors. Whether or not intended, I was left with the impression that some of the comments were laughing at, not with us.
 
R

Randy Stewart

#30
jc,

I thought that auditors had gator skin. :rolleyes:
For the most part we are the on the auditee side, so most of our stories will be from that perspective. I would speculate that a majority of us have had some really bad experiences with auditors. I know I have asked some to leave the property and not return.
On the other side, I've seen guys that would fight a bear with a toothpick and not think twice about it but put an auditor in front of them and they melt. They wouldn't be able to find their head with both hands.
I know I've done some bone headed things in audits (only in my younger days) and I hope someone got a big belly laugh out of it. You just can't take stuff too seriously - life is way too short for that. :truce:
If it wasn't for being able to laugh I would be insane.
You already are.
No I'm not.
Yes you are.
No I'm not.
:mg: ;)
 
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