Where is the romance? Help topic for the married

[Randy Stewart]

I appreciate that he does when he feels the need is that he writes his feelings/thoughts in a little booklet,

Close to what I mentioned with the note.
It has been my experience that those little items get lost after time. The "she knows I love her" stuff.

Romance isn't always the weekend away. We always think that we need something new or big to put the romance back. Not always that.

When you hear "where's the romance gone", it means it was there but something has changed.

My hubby isn't a man of many words

And over time it seems words are less and less. Almost like Tim "the tool man" Taylors grunts!
I know that at the beggining of my relationships they were always filled with talking. Remember as teenagers staying up half the night talking to her on the phone? Now it's "yeah", "on my way", "sure" and "later". That's the whole conversation!

Here's something I've done in the past. Shelly loved Dogwoods, so I stopped at a nursery and bought a medium Dogwood to plant in the yard. Every year that it bloomed it reminded her that I thought enough about her likes to buy one and plant it.
Poor guy didn't last but 1 more bloom after we split though!

I don't believe flowers are ever 'done' unless they only appear on special occasions. Here's a Tulip because it's Tuesday can still put a sparkle in the eye!

 

[ermoth]

I very rarely get flowers, so I always appreciate them...especially if they are for random occasions. My hubby never buys flowers, just picks some wild ones when he sees them.

A note or a phone call just to say "I love you" and why...always good.

Write a poem or draw a picture. It doesn't have to be a work of art to be appreciated.

Find a chore that your significant other usually does..and loathes...and surprise them by having it done already. Just make sure you do it to their "standards". (j/k...sort of)

Offer a back massage, foot massage, pedicure, etc.

Candlelight (in the dining room or the bedroom) is also a rare treat in my experience.

Surprise them with a picnic to a secluded spot in nature.

Do something special with wedding vows or a wedding photo...frame it, include it in a special note, make art with it, etc.

 

[GStough]

I very rarely get flowers, so I always appreciate them...especially if they are for random occasions. My hubby never buys flowers, just picks some wild ones when he sees them.

A note or a phone call just to say "I love you" and why...always good.

Write a poem or draw a picture. It doesn't have to be a work of art to be appreciated.

Find a chore that your significant other usually does..and loathes...and surprise them by having it done already. Just make sure you do it to their "standards". (j/k...sort of)

Offer a back massage, foot massage, pedicure, etc.
Candlelight (in the dining room or the bedroom) is also a rare treat in my experience.

Surprise them with a picnic to a secluded spot in nature.

Do something special with wedding vows or a wedding photo...frame it, include it in a special note, make art with it, etc.

These work like !

Good list, ermoth!

 

[AndyN]

These are great suggestions. Too many times we overlook the little things in the bustle of life.

There's a little more to an effective relationship, which can be enhanced by such 'tributes' or acts of affection (call them what you will).

I've learned (the hard way) that if the person still has unmet needs and expectations, these acts won't 'do' for ever and, eventually, something will 'give'. That's why I commend the 'Imago' reading to everyone, because to understand why people say such things, your/their wants, needs etc. is so important to ensuring longevity.

It was a real eye opener for me, I can tell you........

 

[novusqc]

the influx of info has been great. THANX to all . It is so true the little things mean so much. I'm not bragging but there is not a day that goes by that I dont tell my lady how much i care for her, or how pretty she is. The biggest problem I face is that I have overloaded her with the everyday stuff and not enough lets say out of the box stuff. She is a funny one. She would prefer me not to buy flowers that die but ones to plant. This I tried with great success and wouldn't you know that its the only in ground "living" plant at my house. Money of course is an issue I believe all of us feel tight on. So when I say "lets step out" the flux of reasons we should save money come out. I believe a trip top barnes and noble is in order. She has always said I dont read enough. can you blame me ISO is enough once again thanx and any more insight from others is still appreciated.

 

[AndyN]

Don't forget the library is a lot cheaper than Barnes and Noble or Amazon......!!

 

[Wes Bucey]

Don't forget the library is a lot cheaper than Barnes and Noble or Amazon......!!

When I was in college, some of my most romantic times I recall were when my girlfriend came back into the stacks and massaged my neck and shoulders after I had spent hours poring over books working on my dissertation.

 

[Jim Wynne]

the influx of info has been great. THANX to all . It is so true the little things mean so much. I'm not bragging but there is not a day that goes by that I dont tell my lady how much i care for her, or how pretty she is.

Yes, but what about your wife?

 

[AndyN]

When I was in college, some of my most romantic times I recall were when my girlfriend came back into the stacks and massaged my neck and shoulders after I had spent hours poring over books working on my dissertation.

TMI Wes, TMI........

 

[BradM]

It's 10 minutes long, but decently entertaining and makes some good points.

My suggestion? Embrace the last of his message.