Keeping your cool means keeping your job

[Wes Bucey]

Not sure if there is a Mis-Communication. Absence of Flirting has let me down on so many occasion. I have had the experience of losing it to the peers who apparently used it(flirting) to their advantage.



I am serious that Flirting would contribute significantly to one's success. I don't see it something in the lines of ass-kissing.

Note: By *Flirting*, what I mean is expressing one's potential/strength (even if there doesn't exist a necessity), to have the edge over the peers. Unlike ass-kissing, I don't see anything wrong with the technique.

You're correct - I had the wrong definition of "flirting" from what you intended. In the parlance of HR and psychologists of different stripes, your idea of "flirting" (expressing one's potential/strength (even if there doesn't exist a necessity), to have the edge over the peers.) is what is commonly referred to as "Assertive presentation" where the person asserts his value (attractiveness) to target individuals in a manner intended to give the impression one is a competent, stable person (definitely NOT an ass kisser.) Note this is different from bragging or boasting or trying to hog the spotlight, but it also means one does not shy away from an opportunity to take credit for one's own accomplishments.

I can also see where failure to continually and effectively keep one's accomplishments in view can provide an opportunity for peers who are more focused on flirting.

Like all such activities, it is a learned skill or technique and loses power when it lapses or is only applied in a sporadic manner.

 

[Calvin Peck]

"What action do I need to take to turn this situation to my advantage instead of merely venting my anger and frustration?" (If you have a plan, much of the frustration will disappear.)

I agree 100% from my experience over and over again (as recent as last week). Once you have the plan all the thought and activity goes into implementing the plan instead of going around and around about the current situation (frustration).

Thanks

Cal

 

[Wes Bucey]

In the seven years I've been contributing posts to the Cove, I've tried to be as consistent as possible when on the topic of success both on the job and in the hunt for a new job:
The success seeker must continually demonstrate his value to the organization!

Let's dissect that statement.
"success seeker" - if a person isn't interested in being successful, and actively seeking success, any and all advice is just wasted time for the reader/listener and especially for the advice giver.

"continually" - success is never a "once and done" effort. The success seeker must continually evaluate his efforts against his progress and be ready and willing to research and try new initiatives when one avenue of effort proves futile. Winston Churchill famously said, “Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.”

"demonstrate his value" - this does not mean bragging. It does mean identifying the people whose good opinion of you and your value to the organization can make your success easier to achieve. It also means identifying those whose jealousy or envy may lead them to sabotage your career and devising strategies to neutralize them. In another thread, I discussed the idea of keeping the "powers that be" in the loop about your successes with capsule summaries of your contributions to the good of the organization (along with links to complete reports, etc. IF they want to delve deeper.) The idea is to keep an image (your Brand) of an efficient, smart employee who makes an effort to gain and incorporate the Big Picture in his work, reaching out for more responsibility and positive impact on the organization, not just a drone who does routine work consistently. (Drones who are like robots doing the same job well over and over are apt to find themselves locked out of promotion. [who throws out a perfectly working machine?])

CAVEATS:
The success seeker must stay aware of everything which affects him and the organization. (Read everything you can about Deming's theory of a System of Profound Knowledge (SoPK)) - there are several good threads here in the Cove.) There are factors affecting an organization beyond the control of a success seeker which should induce him to evaluate whether he can find success in his present organization or move on. The move must be carefully considered, not just a knee jerk reaction to a momentary setback.

Call to action:
If you've read this far into the thread, do you recognize some of your own attributes or characteristics you need to change to give you a better shot at what you want for your future? Are you motivated to change some of your own attributes or characteristics?