Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question
if they aren't prepared for the answer...
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a young boy, and
frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people
and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,
he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do
you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy,
bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not
to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I
know him."
The defense attorney almost died...
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench
and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to
the electric chair."
if they aren't prepared for the answer...
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a young boy, and
frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people
and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,
he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do
you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy,
bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not
to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I
know him."
The defense attorney almost died...
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench
and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to
the electric chair."
